Pudd’nhead

“Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple’s sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.”
-Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson
I have bad news.
I did that thing I do again.
That thing that I do that makes no sense.
I scratched my compulsive, everything-from-scratch itch again.
I made bread- but not just any bread, a very involved, intricate, fussy, time-consuming bread.
Then, I chopped it up and made bread pudding.
I know.  I think I’m crazy, too.
But this bread… Oh, this bread.
Soft, fluffy, snowy white.
Yes, white bread.  Even though I’m a nuts-and-seeds, whole-food, whole-grain, fermented, brown, brown, brown bread type of girl, I love white bread.
We all do.  I refuse to hear otherwise.
Think about it… crispy, crackly baguettes, eggy challah, white sourdough boules…
White bread is great, occasionally.
Now is one of those occasions.

I baked this bread following instructions at Kirbie’s Cravings.
She adapted it from a cookbook, 65 Degrees, which outlines the Tangzhong method of making bread.
This is a Japanese-style Hokkaido bread, which is a milk, butter, and cream enriched dough.
In my experience, enriched yeast doughs need a little more care to ensure they come out perfectly.
Her instructions could not be any better, so I’ll send you there if you’d like to try the bread.
I highly recommend it.
(You will need a scale.)

I halved the recipe so I would only get 1 loaf, but found myself regretting that we didn’t have two loaves.  
The tangzhong paste is sort of like a bread enhancer/saver, so it will last a bit longer than other homemade breads, another reason to make two loaves.

Here’s the link:

Kirbie’s Cravings’ Hokkaido Milk Toast

(Thanks so much, Kirbie!!)

Some tips that I learned while making this bread:
The tangzhong cooks very quickly, so stay near it while it cooks.
Set a timer for 20 minutes and let the dough knead the entire time: due to the enriched nature of the dough, the gluten development is slightly inhibited (the butter, cream, egg, and milk make it difficult for the gluten to form) and needs a long kneading period.
Your dough needs to pass the membrane/windowpane test, which Kirbie describes perfectly.  She even provides pictures.
Now, these bread puddings:
you should eat them warm, with a dollop of cold, freshly whipped cream.
The chocolate is melty, the plums are fall-apart tender and tart.
The top of the bread is crunchy and the underside is custardy.
 
Bread pudding is a fall dessert.  
This bread pudding showcases the best of late summer: plums.
They’re roasted until bubbling and syrupy, then cut into small pieces and layered among fluffy bread cubes and dark chocolate chips, then smothered in custard and baked, again, until bubbling.
The juices pour down the sides as the puddings puff up; when you pull them out of the oven they will deflate a bit, but the result of the deflation is a lovely, dense custard, filled with goodies.
 
You could make these with any white bread: challah, sourdough, sandwich, brioche… just cut the crusts off.
Or, you could make them with Hokkaido milk toast… Which obviously I highly recommend.
 
P.S. Heat any leftovers (what’s a leftover) in the microwave for 20 seconds, so they warm up again.  They’ll taste like they’re straight out of the oven.

Roasted Plum and Dark Chocolate Bread Pudding
makes 4 small ramekins, easily doubled, tripled, or quadrupled
ingredients:
2 plums or pluots
1 tablespoon of sugar
3 1/2 inch thick slices of brioche, challah, or sourdough, crusts removed and cubed
1 egg
3/4 cup milk
1/2 a vanilla bean, scraped
pinch of cinnamon
3 tablespoons sugar
4 tablespoons large chocolate chunks or chips
turbinado sugar, for sprinkling (optional)
whipped cream, for serving (optional)
directions:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Halve and pit the plums and place in a baking dish.  
Sprinkle with 1 tablespoon of sugar and bake until syrupy and soft, 12-15 minutes.
Remove from oven and allow to cool slightly.
Reduce oven temperature to 350 degrees F.
Whisk egg, milk, and 3 tablespoons sugar together with the scrapings of 1/2 a vanilla bean and a pinch of cinnamon.
Lay bread cubes over the bottom of each ramekin and place a few chocolate chips over that layer.
Cube the cooled plums; place a thick layer of plums over the first bread layer, about 1/2 plum per ramekin.  
Top with the remaining bread cubes and chocolate chips.
Pour 1/4 of the egg mixture over each dish, then sprinkle liberally with turbinado sugar.
Bake until puffed, golden, and juices overflowing, about 20 minutes.
Remove from oven and allow to cool slightly; serve warm with whipped cream.

Mo’ Mo’

Do you know of Piet Mondrian?
Dutch painter, theorist and draughtsman. His work marks the transition at the start of the 20th century from the Hague school and Symbolism to Neo-Impressionism and Cubism. His key position within the international avant-garde is determined by works produced after 1920. He set out his theory in the periodical of De Stijl, in a series of articles that were summarized in a separate booklet published in Paris in 1920 under the title Le Néo-plasticisme (see Neo-plasticism) by Léonce Rosenberg. The essence of Mondrian’s ideas is that painting, composed of the most fundamental aspects of line and colour, must set an example to the other arts for achieving a society in which art as such has no place but belongs instead to the total realization of ‘beauty’. The representation of the universal, dynamic pulse of life, also expressed in modern jazz and the metropolis, was Mondrian’s point of departure. Even in his lifetime he was regarded as the founder of the most modern art. His artistic integrity caused him to be honoured as a classical master by artists who were aligned with entirely different styles, as well as by musicians and architects. He was able to make a living from the sale of his works in the Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland, England and the USA.
© 2009 Oxford University Press
TL;DR
Basically, he represented a change in the art world from the Hague School/Symbolism to Neo-Impressionism and Cubism.
Yes, that was all from the second sentence, and no, I didn’t read past that.
But, yeah.  We’re here to talk about cake.
Cake art.
Art cake?
Either way, this is a cake inspired by Mondrian, via SFMoMA’s awesome, kick-ass cafe, an extension of Blue Bottle Coffee.
Head pastry chef Caitlin Freeman makes a Mondrian cake, among a myriad of other, incredible desserts inspired by modern art.
I fell in love with this cake.
As my father said, it’s so me.
So fussy.  So intricate.
So head-hurting, brain-frustrating, concentration-heavy.
So complicated and irritating.
I love it.
But! My cake didn’t come out quite how I wish it did.
I should have used a few different pans, which I was going to.
Instead, I used one very huge lasagna dish, plus one loaf pan, to bake my cakes.
It made the job a lot more lopsided and tricky, because I had to try to fit all the pieces and ended up with a ton of leftovers when they didn’t fit.
I should have used a protractor, to get all my lines just right.
I shouldn’t have used a serrated knife.
I still need to figure out how to make cakes with tighter crumbs.
I didn’t cream the butter and sugar, for this cake, because I know that creates air bubbles which create a light and airy texture in the finished cake.
It still didn’t quite make it to the tight crumb of a pound cake, which is where I wanted it to be.
 
And yet, I am pleased.  It is okay.  It is a first attempt at making a wacko battenburg cake.
And I did it sans recipe or guide, with just an idea in my head and a sketch of my own Mondrian-inspired idea.
Actually, I had to make a few sketches.  It gave me an excuse to break out my crayons.
God, I love crayons.
I completely and utterly winged this cake, by making a lot of sketches and baking a huge white velvet cake.
I don’t own Chef Freeman’s book, but if you’re interested in making this cake, I suggest you buy the book/follow her instructions.
Do you see her Mondrian cake?  Amazing.

Subpar

 
It was my dad’s birthday today!
 
My dad is not your average father… So, obviously, I made him a not so average birthday cake.
It’s birthday cake… with a twist.
Actually, a few twists.
Or a few kicks.  However you want to say it.
 
I’m very tired while writing this post (on Sundays, the credits of Breaking Bad pretty much signal bedtime to me), so I’ll keep it short and hopefully sweet.
 
My dad is a wonderful human being.  Just superb.  I mean, really.
I could not ask for a more supportive, caring, and understanding father.
He is truly the rock to which I am tethered.
I could not have weathered any storms without him keeping me from blowing away.
 
He’s watching golf, now that we’ve finished Breaking Bad, which is maybe his only bad habit.
Watching golf.  Or maybe playing golf.
He just loves golf so much… I guess I forgive him for it.  Depending on my mood, that is.
BUT I should clarify the title of this post: I mean subpar in a golf way, not in a real world way.
Even though it’s not a term they use, I don’t think.
What I mean is that he’s better than average.
Or something like that.
I don’t know.  Stop looking at me like that.
So this cake… It’s spicy.
Spicy, sweet, and over-the-top.
It’s a rich chocolate cake with a silky cheesecake in the center, sandwiched with spicy strawberry-cayenne jam, frosted with a super smooth Italian meringue buttercream, and topped with cayenne-gianduja macarons.
 
Everything balances out very nicely:
deep, smoky chocolate
slightly sour, rich, thick cheesecake
spicy and tart strawberry
silkier than silky IMBC, which is super buttery and offsets the intense flavors well
slightly crispy, chewy macs with a hint of spice and gianduja (AKA nutella).
This is truly a celebration cake.  You can expect to see more macaron-topped cakes from me in the future.
Once I get my macs down perfectly, that is.
Happy birthday, Daddy!  I love you!
Kickin’ Chocolate Birthday Cake
 
Cayenne Gianduja Macarons
adapted from Jo the Tart Queen
ingredients:
for the first mixture:
70 grams egg whites
130 grams hazelnut flour
25 grams cocoa powder
150 grams powdered sugar
A few pinches cayenne pepper, depending how spicy you want the cookies
for the second mixture:
60 grams egg whites
Pinch cream of tartar
150 grams granulated sugar
30 grams water
directions:
Preheat oven to 320 degrees.
Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.
Process hazelnut flour, confectioners sugar, cocoa powder, and cayenne together in a food processor until all lumps are gone.
Place in a bowl and fold in the first measure of egg whites until the mixture is mostly combined; it will look crumbly and dry.
Make the second mixture.
Place the egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer with the cream of tartar.
Place the sugar and water in a small saucepan.
Heat the sugar and water over medium heat while the egg whites are whipping.
When the sugar syrup reaches 320 degrees F, the egg whites should be at soft peaks.
Heat the syrup until it reaches 340 degrees F.
With the mixer running, slowly pour the syrup over the meringue.
Allow to whip until the meringue has cooled and is stiff.
Fold the first and second mixtures together until the batter is like lava.
Pipe out circles and leave to dry for 15 minutes.
Bake for 12 minutes, or until cookies lift cleanly off the parchment.

Miniature Cheesecake
adapted from Miette

ingredients:
1/2 pound (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup sugar
1 egg
2 tablespoons half and half
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and put a large kettle on to boil.
Wrap a 6-inch springform pan tightly in aluminum foil and lightly grease the inside; place inside a roasting pan.
Beat cream cheese until soft and fluffy; stream in sugar and beat until well incorporated.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and beat in the egg, half and half, and vanilla.
Pour into prepared pan.
Carefully pour boiling water around the springform into the roasting pan.
Bake for 1 hour and 20 minutes, until set and the center jiggles only slightly.
Allow to cool completely, then freeze prior to placing in the cake.

Strawberry Cayenne Jam
ingredients:
1 quart strawberries
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon pectin (low or no sugar)
Few pinches cayenne pepper
directions:
Chop strawberries finely and place in a wide saucepan with the sugar, pectin, and cayenne.
Cook until thickened and jammy, about 10 minutes.
Purée if desired.


6-inch Chocolate cake
adapted from the back of a Hershey’s cocoa powder
ingredients:
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons flour
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup hot coffee
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease 2 6-inch pans.
Whisk dry ingredients together.
Whisk wet ingredients (except coffee) together, then whisk into the dry ingredients.
Whisk in the hot coffee and pour into prepared pans.
Bake for 25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean.

Italian Meringue Buttercream
Same as here. 1/2 the recipe.

To assemble:
Place one cake on a cake plate.  
Spread with 3 tablespoons jam, then top with the frozen cheesecake.
Spread 3 tablespoons jam on the underside of the second cake, then place it jam side down onto the cheesecake.
Crumb coat with the buttercream.
Pipe 6 swirls on top of the cake, nestle in macarons that have been sandwiched with a little jam (3/4 teaspoon-1 teaspoon per cookie) or extra buttercream.
Serve at room temperature.

Moshi Moshi

*mochi mochi.
*ichigo matcha daifuku mochi.
These mochi are ugly.
*tear.
So let’s talk about why they look bad but taste so, so good.
They are lopsided.
The bottoms, where I pinched them together, are too thick.
They do not have a smooth, round exterior.
The ratio of mochi to bean to strawberry isn’t correct- there is too much mochi.
I had to make my own anko, which is softer and less easily molded than storebought. (I do not recommend this! Go to an Asian market and buy some anko!)
And now I’ve said bean, and half of you are like… say what?  Beans?  In my dessert? No thanks.  
I mean, beans in dessert almost sounds worse than tomatoes or celery or beets.
 
BUT these are sweet beans!  Adzuki beans!
If you’ve had red bean buns, or anko daifuku mochi or a plethora of other asian desserts, you will appreciate how delicious they are.
Sweet and umami actually pair very well together.
 
So yes, when you bite into these lopsided, kind of ugly mochi, you are rewarded with a veritable lexicon of different flavors and textures.
The exterior mochi is bitter and bouncy, soft, and chewy.
The anko paste is sweet, earthy, and silky.
The strawberry, that jewel in the center, is crisp, fresh, tart, and juicy.
It all comes together beautifully.
 
The six mochi that this recipe makes didn’t make it 15 minutes out of the photo shoot.
I ate three.  Oops.
Ichigo Matcha Daifuku Mochi
adapted from Cooking with Dog
makes 6
ingredients:
100 grams glutinous rice flour (mochiko)
25 grams (2 tablespoons) sugar
2 teaspoons matcha powder
100 grams (100 mL) water 
cornstarch for dusting
150 grams anko (red bean paste)
6 15-gram strawberries, leaves and stem removed
directions:
Stir the rice flour, sugar, water, and matcha powder together extremely well until no lumps remain.
Separate the anko into 6 even pieces and press it up and around the strawberries, starting at the pointy tip of each strawberry, then place on a plate; lightly saran-wrap the plate.
Cover the bowl with the rice flour mixture tightly with saran wrap (see this recipe for more how-to) and microwave on medium power for about 4 minutes.  
Stir the mochi well and turn out onto a cornstarch dusted sheet pan. 
Cut into 6 pieces. 
Working one at a time, flatten and roll each piece out thinly, then place the anko-covered strawberry into the mochi and pinch the end shut.
 

Dat New New

Oh, hey.
Didn’t see you there.
Today is mostly photos (and is short and sweet), because I want to share my latest photographic development (get it?) with you, and I have some longer, more involved posts coming up (nothing too crazy).
 
I recently bought a 100mm macro lens to go along with my new camera.
I love it!
My cats, not so much.
They wish I had never bought it.
I’m still trying to get the hang of it; it’s not as easy as I thought.
Like most things, there’s a learning curve.
I’ve found that it’s the only one of my lenses that I prefer to shoot with on manual focus.
I shove the huge thing right up in my cats’ faces, because I love their eyes.  
My dog will have absolutely none of it.
So yes, these are some photos I’ve taken recently.
This is kind of a boring post; I don’t have anything to say.
I made these miniature crinkle cookies as part of small gifts I gave to my best friends.
They’re teeny tiny little things, only 2 teaspoons of batter per cookie.
The recipe is also teeny tiny, making exactly 10 cookies.
Perfect if you need a batch of cookies, but don’t want the burden of 3 dozen.
Meow.

Small Batch Chocolate Crinkle Cookies
adapted from Joy of Baking
ingredients:
1 tablespoon butter
2 ounces bittersweet chocolate
2 tablespoons sugar
1/2 an egg (either weigh it and divide by two, or whisk it well and take approximately 2 tablespoons)
splash vanilla extract
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons flour
pinch kosher salt
1/8 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cup confectioner’s sugar
directions:
Microwave chocolate and butter together on medium power until they are melted, set aside to cool slightly.
Whip the egg with the sugar until pale yellow and doubled in size.
Add the vanilla and chocolate and beat to combine.
Sift the flour, baking powder, and salt over the top of the mixture.
Beat until batter comes together.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and refrigerate for at least 20 minutes.
Preheat your oven to 325 degrees F.
Place the confectioner’s sugar on a plate or shallow bowl.
Using a 2 teaspoon cookie scoop or two small spoons, form 10 small balls.
Roll well in the confectioner’s sugar so that no brown is showing.
Place on a baking sheet lined with parchment.
Bake for 7-8 minutes, until the crackle pattern has formed.
Remove from oven and allow to cool completely.

More, More, More

All the s’mores!
I am so greedy.
Today, I said goodbye “see you later” to one of my best friends, S.
Yes, the S for whose birthday I made a s’mores cake.
What are the chances that this post would be about s’mores?
I didn’t engineer it this way, it just happened to be so.
It was meant to be.
I’m greedy because now is not enough.
The years I have spent with my friends, growing and fighting and partying and loving, are not enough.
I want more.  I want more time.
More chances to show them how much I love them,
how much I appreciate them and all they do and all their quirks.
I want more, more, more.
I want to drink up all of their love, all of my love, all of the times we have spent together, to soak in it and revel in it and I’m worried I haven’t done enough of that.
It is so bittersweet, this time in our lives.
We are both leaving and being left.
We are starting a new part of our lives.  It’s terrifying.
I’m not ready.
I don’t want to be ready.
I’m scared.
I took these s’mores to a farewell BBQ with just a few of my closest friends.
The marshmallows were soggy because it rained all day.  I was pissed.
But whatever, that’s not what matters.
I love these people.  That’s something I’ll never lose, and something I’ll never get enough of.
I don’t have many words today, so I will share pictures.
 
Marshmallows here.
Graham crackers here.
Love below.

Brace Yo’self

Treat Brace yo’self.
 
Forgive me.  This one is a mouthful, in all senses of the word.
I guess I might as well start out by telling you what you’re looking at, because otherwise I fear you may feel unsure of my sanity.
Gird your loins.
This is a vanilla bean marshmallow, Greek yogurt cheesecake with a peanut butter base, torched marshmallows, and homemade potato chips.
 
These flavors called to me as I stared at a big ole pile of homemade vanilla bean marshmallows and graham crackers that I had leftover from a picnic yesterday (I’ll share some pictures etc. in the next few days.).
I keep a running note of minute-to-minute, day-to-day, random inspirations on my phone.
It includes eclectic and esoteric things like “honey nut” and “coconut kumquat” to, lo and behold, “homemade potato chips with peanut butter- cupcakes?
So obviously, this is not cupcakes.  But those two flavors are featured in this cake.
Victory!
Savory, fatty peanut butter combines with silky cheesecake and soft, puffy marshmallows, only to be highlighted with über crispy, salty chips.
This cheesecake is a no-bake deal.  You can whip it together in 20 minutes.
It has to chill for a while, but that’s down time.
You could run errands or walk your dog or clean your kitchen (none of which I did), or drink milky green tea while watching the last two episodes of Food Network Star (cue glazed eyes), and feign sleep when someone discovers you, which I may or may not have done.
Anyways, you have some time.  A minimum of 2 hours.  So plan ahead.
The nice thing about this is that you can make this way ahead and let it hang out in the fridge before unmolding and decorating it.
I would say a full day ahead would be totally fine.
You don’t want to put the chips on too early, you little eager beaver you, because they will get soggy and limp.
Soggy and limp are not two of the adjectives I ever want to hear describing any cheesecake.
Ever.
So chill with the chips until you’re ready to serve.
This thang is not so rich as one might think: there is no butter, only a smidgen of cream, it’s made with 0% Greek yogurt, light sour cream, and neufchâtel.
It slices very well and is light and creamy.
The textures are out of this world… I can only think of adjectives to describe this cheesecake.
I have trouble forming full, coherent sentences.
Crispy, salty, fatty, soft, creamy, silky, sweet, savory, and just a touch bitter (torched mallows).
One last thing: let’s be honest,  you don’t have to make your own marshmallows and potato chips to make this cake.
(I garnished with regular mini marshmallows!)
Go out and buy a package of mini mallows and some Cape Cod potato chips and go to town.
You’ll thank me later.
(You can add in vanilla bean or extract if you use regular marshmallows.)
Also, I realize this post was all about food and kind of one note.
Never fear, I’ll be back before you even want me to be, bitchin’ and whinin’ about my life as per usual.

Crazed Cheesecake
(Vanilla Bean Marshmallow Greek Yogurt Cheesecake with Potato Chips and PB Crust)
makes one 6×3 inch cheesecake or one 9×2 inch cheesecake
ingredients:
3 ounces graham crackers (I used homemade, you could easily sub more Nutter Butters)
3 ounces (about 6 cookies) Nutter Butter or other peanut butter sandwich cookies (leave the filling in)
2 ounces (heaping 2 tablespoons) peanut butter
16 ounces cream cheese (I used half neufchâtel)
150 grams (3/4 cup) sugar
8 ounces (1 cup) 0% Greek yogurt
3 ounces (1/3 cup) light or full-fat sour cream
2 ounces (1/4 cup) cream
2 teaspoons gelatin
7 ounces marshmallows, melted and still warm (about 1 cup when melted)
Garnish: toasted marshmallows, potato chips
directions:
Lightly grease your springform pan (either a 6×3 or 9×2).
In the bowl of a food processor, process your cookies and crackers, leaving the filling in the peanut butter cookies.
Meanwhile, melt the peanut butter in a microwave or over a stove.
Pour the still-fluid PB into the food processor and pulse until the mixture sticks together when pressed.
Press into the bottom of your pan and place in the fridge to chill while you make the filling.
Whip the cream cheese with a stand or hand mixer until it is light and fluffy.
Add in the sugar and whip for 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, sprinkle the gelatin over the top of 2 tablespoons of cold water and set aside for 5 minutes.
To the cream cheese, add the yogurt and sour cream and beat until combined; scrape the sides of the bowl.
After the gelatin has softened for 5 minutes, add it to the cream and microwave on high until it melts, about 20 seconds.
Add the cream mixture to the cream cheese mixture and beat on high.
Scrape in the still-warm marshmallows (you may need to reheat them a bit to get them nice and liquidy) and beat on high until everything comes together.
The batter will seem a little liquidy; this is fine.
Pour the mixture into the prepared crust/pan and place in the refrigerator to set, about 2 hours.
Once the cake is set, garnish how you like.
It cuts best with a clean knife, so wipe in between cuts.

Peachy Keen

 
Okay, I left you again, my beloveds.  But I am back, and I am not leaving in the foreseeable future (until college.  Eep!!)
(And I brought pie!)
 
 
I was in NYC and also Connecticut at the ESPN campus (so cool!), tagging along with my dad for the last half-week.
Then, I was enjoying a beautiful, sunny day and evening with friends at Taughannock.
Now, I am here.
Home.  And back on le blog.
 
^The always beautiful S and the charming français, Emile.
(That last link is scary… two birthdays ago!  Laughing/cringing at the photography.  Don’t laugh at me.  
On second thought, don’t click through that link.)
Um, with lack of anything more interesting to say about my trip, here are some things I observed, because I love lists:
 
Things I Saw in Park Slope and Beyond:
a discarded and seemingly brand new cherry wood spoon
a dozen oyster shells, mixed with
broken ceramics of many colors
an unattended child, sitting quietly in a stroller
thirty thousand vespas
a stroller with 12 wheels (12!)
a sizeable bamboo grove on West 14th, with canes that were 20 or so feet tall
killer fro-yo at Culture (two words: mochi topping)
and a million and one other things but I’m tired of this list so let’s move on.
 
Highlight of my day: I discovered that two of my photos got published on Tastespotting!
I am very pleased.
However, these exact same photos were rejected on foodgawker.
I am not pleased.
“Composition too tight.  Please make more room around the ____ and resubmit.”
If I had more room, don’t you think I would have already tried to cram it into that tiny little square?
Wah.
Okay I’m tired of whining so let’s move on.
(Wait… that’s a first.  Tired of whining?  Me?  NEVER.  Can’t stop won’t stop.)
 
These photos being published on Tastespotting have only aided in my ever-expanding online sharing of photos.
I now have a flickr, facebook, twitter, instagram, blog, and Tastespotting account, through all of which I share photos of food. (I rarely put food photos on twitter or facebook, though.)
And I guess I have a foodgawker, but EVERY PHOTO I have ever submitted gets instantly rejected.
Like this.
My instagram is all food and cats and up-close selfies of my face.
Stop judging me.
 
Let’s talk about pie.  
Pie, pie, pie pie.
Pie pie pie.
Peach pie.  Om nom nommedy nom.
We’ve talked about peach pie once before.
As well as peach pie cake
and two peach tarts.
But when I discovered 7 very ripe-borderline too ripe-peaches in the back of my fridge today, I knew the universe was telling me something important.
And it involved pie, so.
See, the most recent Cook’s Illustrated (I have a love/hate/love relationship with this mag, but let’s not get into that) featured their most recent recipe for peach pie.

Obviously, I had to make it/test it for myself.
Fussy magazine instructions be damned.
So let’s talk about this pie.
 
It ain’t easy, that’s for damn sure.  But then again, of course it’s not.  
It’s Cook’s Illustrated, for God’s sake, and they can never let anything be easy.
There’s always ten million steps and I usually find there are ways to improve upon what they have given, despite all of their in-depth testing in their test kitchen.
(This may a poorly timed question… but that job sounds awesome.  Where do I apply?)

Thus, another list: Things I Wish I Didn’t Have to Do to Make This Pie:
peel the peaches (Said it before, and I’ll say it again: I never peel peaches for pie.  I love that fuzzy skin, and I totally approve of this message what it does texture-wise when cooked)
use 3 pounds of peaches (this just seems excessive because you have to peel each one like WHAT)
quarter and then thirds all the peaches (there has to be a more efficient way to do this.  Peeled peaches are so very slippery and go shooting off the cutting board like soap)
macerate the peaches (I thought we wanted the juice to stay in)
cook down the resulting juice with pectin (thank God we canned the other weekend… or I would have been out of luck)
mash some of my macerated peaches that I worked SO HARD cutting up (not that hard, but whatever I’m trying to make this list long and dramatic)
use cornstarch (jk I love cornstarch)
ok I’m done

Plus, they gave me some lame-ass pie crust with shortening, giving an excuse about lattice pie crusts needing to hold up or something along those lines. I’m not sure ’cause I stopped reading when I saw Crisco.  
I don’t know about you but I am really not down with shortening in pie crusts, but you probably know that because one of my earliest posts was dedicated just to all-butter all-good pastry doughs.
The low down: you can make flaky, flavorful, workable, pliable, tender pie crusts with just butter.  You just gotta have the right technique.  
And I’m going to share my super-secret method for getting flaky, flaky, flaky pastry.
(Scroll down through the recipe and you’ll see it, as well as a poorly-lit shot meant to demonstrate how flaky the crust is.)

So to wrap this up:  their pie filling was good.  The texture was perfect, the flavor was too lemony and too sweet for my palette. 
I generally use next to no sugar in my pies, but since I was trying to review the recipe, I made no changes to the filling and how it was prepared.
I used my own crust recipe, which has taken a lifetime to develop (practically), because I will always stay loyal to butter and buttermilk.

This was a fussy recipe.  But altogether, I would recommend it.
I think I have to say that, because I had two fat wedges of this pie today.
Om nom nommedy nom.

 

^I ate that piece.  Without a fork.
 
Cook’s Illustrated Peach Pie (with my flaky buttermilk pie crust)
for the buttermilk crust:
makes enough for a double or lattice crust
ingredients:
2 1/2 cups flour (315 grams)
1 tablespoon (15 grams) sugar 
1 heaping teaspoon kosher salt
16 tablespoons (225 grams) unsalted butter, cold and cut into chunks
1/2 cup to 3/4 cup buttermilk, cold (leave it in the fridge until just before you need to use it)
directions:
Place the flour, sugar, and salt in a food processor and pulse to combine. (Or whisk them together in a large bowl)
Scatter the butter pieces over the flour mixture and pulse until the mixture has small chunks of butter the size of peas, about 5 2-second pulses or so. (Or cut the butter into the flour with a pastry blender.)
Slowly drizzle 1/2 cup of buttermilk into the mixer while giving 1 second pulses. (Or drizzle it over the butter/flour mixture and fold with a spatula)
Feel the dough- when you’ve added adequate liquid, it should be slightly tacky and hold together.
Add up to 1/4 cup more buttermilk if necessary.
Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and roll it into a rectangle about 1/2 inch thick.
Fold the rectangle into thirds and reroll into another rectangle.
Fold the new rectangle into thirds and reroll into another rectangle.
Fold the rectangle once more into thirds and then roll it into a rough rectangle.
Cut the block into two pieces, one slightly smaller than the other.
Chill for at least 30 minutes, wrapped well in plastic.
When you are ready to use the dough, roll the larger piece out until its diameter is about 4 inches larger than your pie pan, then gently place it in the pan, allowing the excess to drape off the edges.
Roll out the other chunk of dough into a rectangle and cut it into long strips.
Chill the strips and the dough in the pan before filling (roll them out before you start the filling).
Once filled, weave the strips into a lattice over the filling. (here is a picture tutorial)
 
for Cook’s Illustrated Peach Pie Filling:
ingredients:
3 pounds peaches, peeled, quartered, and pitted, each quarter cut into thirds
1/2 cup (3.5 ounces) plus 2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon lemon zest plus 1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons low- or no-sugar-needed fruit pectin
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
pinch nutmeg
1 tablespoon cornstarch
directions:
Toss peaches, 1/2 cup sugar, lemon zest and juice and salt in a bowl; allow to sit for at least 30 minutes and up to an hour.
Combine pectin, 2 tablespoons sugar, and spices in a small bowl.
Transfer 1 cup of peach mixture to a bowl and mash into a coarse paste.
Drain the remaining peaches and measure out 1/2 cup of the liquid; discard the rest.
Place the juice into a pan with the pectin mixture and cook over medium heat until thickened and pectin has dissolved (3-5 minutes).
Toss the remaining peaches with the cornstarch, then add in the peach paste and the peach juice.
 
to assemble and bake the pie:
ingredients:
cream
turbinado or coarse sugar, or regular sugar
directions:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.
Remove the chilled bottom crust from the fridge and pour the filling into it.
Weave the chilled lattice strips over top of the filling.
Brush cream gently over the pie top and sprinkle liberally with coarse sugar.
Bake for 20 minutes at 425, then lower the temperature to 350 and bake 35-40 minute more, until the top is deeply golden brown and the filling is bubbling in the center.
 

Dirrrty

Ahh… Sorry to burst your bubble, but this post is not about Xtina.
I know.  I’m sad about it too.
 
 Let’s talk about my OCD.
Because everybody loves a crazy person, right?
Today, I cleaned my entire KitchenAid with a toothpick.
Cleaned as in burrowed into every nook and cranny and crevice to pry out any old cookie dough, flour, and other nasty residue.
 
It was the single most horrifying and awesome thing ever.

 
Do you clean your appliances often?
Let me tell you right now, it’s probably not often enough.
I’m scarred after today.
 I mean, sheesh, I go at my stand mixer every so often, when the spirit so moves me, with a toothpick and a warm, wet paper towel, but not to the extent that I dug today.
How does all that even get all up in there?
All up in there in the weirdest places.  
Have you ever unscrewed the little button thing where the meat grinder attaches to your stand mixer?
DON’T DO IT.  JUST LEAVE IT.
TRUST ME.
Okay, new subject, same topic.
You know what my favorite commercials are?
Cleaning product commercials.
Ranging from face wash to shower cleaners.
I just love the feeling I get from watching dirty things become magically clean.
I get all of the satisfaction, and don’t have to get my hands dirty.
It’s like a wonderful dream.
 
Glad we talked about this.  I’m done rambling now.
This turned out to be a lot more about dirt than I meant it to be.
See, I was more thinking mud.
Because that’s what I’m sharing today.
Mud pie.
Mississippi Mud Pie, to be exact.
Only, this isn’t any ol’ Mississippi mud pie.  It’s MY Mississippi mud pie, redesigned and shined up a little bit by my imagination.
 
Traditional mud pie is comprised of a chocolate cookie crust and a chocolate pudding filling, topped with marshmallows and/or whipped cream.
(No, no, I know.  Quit your whining.  We all made gross-ass mud pies in puddles after the rain- those are not what I’m preaching about up in here.  You want that, you can walk yoself out of this fine establishment.)
 
I took it to another gut-busting, button-bursting, chocolatized level.
Because yes.
 
(Chocolatize me Cap’n!  Yes, Chocolate Cap’n Crunch is a thing.  I know.)
I was inspired in part by the Baked guys, because I saw a snapshot of their Mississippi Mud Pie and decided to make it my way.
Then, Russell of Chasing Delicious made this amazing Mississippi Mud Cake, and I decided it was high time to get back on the chocolate wagon.
It had been so long.  Summer just doesn’t always seem to be compatible with chocolate, which melts and makes a mess.  I usually stick to fruit.
But here we are, with a giant chocolate pie to talk about.
I’ll talk you through the layers- it’s not as hard as it seems, I promise.
Come your next chocolate craving, make this.  It will satisfy every bone and tooth in your body.

First up: chocolate cookie crust.
I used Oreos, because for some reason all the regular chocolate cookies were out of stock in all of the grocery stores near me.  Whatever.  
Smash up some cookies, add a little seasoning (sugar+salt) and bind the whole thing with a stick o’ butta.  Yum.  
Next: my favorite brownies.
These are a one-pot, one-spoon, super simple affair.
They come together in 5 minutes and bake in 15.

They’re fudgy and perfect to line the base of the crust.  
Simply cut off the top of the brownie base and lay it right in your crust.
Third: milk chocolate mousse.
This stuff has two major steps, but neither is difficult.  
You come away with the smoothest, fluffiest mousse, one that is very light on the tongue but is completely sliceable.
This would usually be a pudding, but I wanted something a little more sophisticated than chocolate puddin’.
A mousse is perfect for this type of molded dessert!  
Spread it over the cut side of the brownies and chill until it’s completely set.
Next: salted chocolate ganache.
Rich, dark, and so, so deeply chocolaty.  Need I say more?
Finally: Italian meringue.
These marshmallow-y clouds on the top of the cake are the perfect foil for all the chocolate they’re sitting on.  Traditionally, these would be marshmallows or whipped cream, but I prefer the lightness and softness of meringue.

One slice of this will do in your chocolate cravings in just the right way.
Mississippi Mud Pie just done grew up.

Mississippi Mud Pie
 
Assemble everything in the order shown here: crust, brownies, mousse, ganache, meringue.
Chocolate Cookie Crust:
ingredients:
2 1/2 cups chocolate cookie crumbs (I used about 40 Oreos, after I had scraped the cream filling out)
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
8 tablespoons butter, melted
directions:
Mix the cookie crumbs with the sugar and salt, then gently stir in the butter.
Press into a 9-inch springform pan and chill until solid, then begin layering.
Classic Brownies
same recipe as here
ingredients:
8 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons shortening
5 ounces bittersweet chocolate
9 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 1/4 cups sugar
3 eggs
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup flour
directions:
In a heavy pot, melt butter, shortening, chocolate, and cocoa powder together.
Once they are all melted, add the sugar and remove from the heat.
Whisk in the eggs vigorously one by one.
Add in the salt and vanilla and whisk.
Finally, stir in the flour.
Spread the batter in a greased and floured 9-inch cake pan and bake for 20 or so minutes, until a tester comes out clean.
To use in the cake, allow to cool completely, then cut off the shiny, crackly top along with about 4 mm of brownie.
Gently place in the bottom of the chilled crust, cut side up.
 
Milk Chocolate Mousse
adapted from Cannelle et Vanille
ingredients:

 

For the pâte à bombé:

 

56 grams sugar

 

14 grams corn syrup

 

28 grams water

 

1 medium egg yolk plus 1 large egg yolk or 1.5 large or extra large egg yolks

 

For the mousse:

 

56 grams (2 ounces) pâte à bombé

 

4 grams gelatin

 

84 grams (3 ounces) milk chocolate

 

8 ounces (1 cup, 235 mL) heavy cream

 

directions:

 

Make the pâte à bombé: place the egg yolks in the bowl of a stand mixer.

 

Begin to whip them on high while you combine the sugar, corn syrup, and water in a small pot and heat to 240 degrees F.

 

Once the syrup comes to temp, slowly drizzle it over the whipped egg yolks while the mixer is running.

 

Allow the yolks to whip until they cool to body temp.

 

Weigh out 56 grams (2 ounces) and set aside.

 

Melt the chocolate gently, then set aside to cool slightly.

 

Sprinkle the gelatin over 2 tablespoons of cold water and set aside for 5 minutes to soften.

 

Set aside 1/4 cup of the heavy cream and whip the other cream to stiff peaks.

 

Once the gelatin is softened, microwave it with the 1/4 cup cream until melted. Gently stir into the cream; the mixture will become loose.

 

Stir in the pâte à bombé and the cooled melted chocolate, and gently mix until homogeneous.

 

Mixture will be loose.

 

Pour over the brownie in the crust and refrigerate until set.

 

Salted Chocolate Ganache
ingredients:
230 grams bittersweet chocolate
130 grams heavy cream
40 grams corn syrup
Small pinch kosher salt
directions:
Heat the chocolate until half melted in a microwave or over a double boiler.
Add the cream, syrup, and salt and heat until the chocolate is 2/3 melted, about 20 more seconds on medium power in a microwave.
Stir gently, increasing speed, until the mixture is shiny and homogeneous.
Use right away- spread over the chilled and firm mousse.
 
Small-Batch Italian Meringue
ingredients:
38 grams egg whites

 

Pinch cream of tartar

75 grams sugar
25 grams water
Directions:
Place egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer with the cream of tartar.
Combine the water and sugar in a small pot and bring to a boil.
Meanwhile, whip the egg whites.
When the syrup reaches 245 degrees F, the egg whites should be at soft to stiff peaks.
Slowly pour the hot syrup over the meringue with the mixer running. 
Allow to whip until completely cool, then pipe onto the cake.