“Memory commits you to the nuance; the fog.
If you act on memory you commit yourself on the basis of echoes: unpredictable, faint, fading even as they were generated.
No basis on which to inch out across your life, and yet all you have.”

—M. John Harrison

Growing up with Gwen, the best days throughout our many years were always tea days. Whether her bed or mine, we would snuggle up with steaming hot mugs of black tea with milk and sugar and spend the day lost in conversation.
It was always PG Tips at her house, and Taylors or Twining’s at mine.
The coziness and comfortability of these memories brings me a sense of peace.
I often wistfully think of those times: of the foundation of a lifelong love, of the easy simplicity of friendship, and of lost innocence.
So often, when I reflect back on life, I wish I would have been more present at any given moment. I wish I would have known how special or fleeting it was at the time. But our tea days—those I felt the significance of, even back then, even as the hours slipped past our fingers and our tea turned cold. Girlhood.

These swirly cookies are meant to be translations of one of my favorite cafe beverages: the London fog.
Here, earl grey tea leaves are paired with orange zest, cornflower, and vanilla bean, all swirled together in a buttery, crisp but chewy cookie base.
The orange helps bring out the citrusy bergamot note in the tea. I added the cornflowers because it reminded me of another whimsical type of tea, Swedish Söderblandning.
The blue-grey is naturally colored with blueberry powder. The tea bakes into a greeny-grey.
These are fun, easy, and impressive all the same.
They are as appropriate alongside a glass of milk as alongside a cup of strong tea.

London Fog Sugar Cookies
makes 16 large cookies

ingredients:
360 grams flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
227 grams (2 sticks) butter, softened
350 grams sugar
1 egg
1 egg yolk
zest of 1 orange
3 tablespoons finely chopped earl grey tea leaves (or approximately 4 teabags)
1/2 cup freeze-dried blueberries, pulverized and sifted
1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste
1/8 teaspoon fiori di Sicilia, optional
1 tablespoon dried cornflowers, optional

directions:
Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
Cream butter, sugar, and salt together until fluffy.
Add egg and egg yolk and beat until glossy and not gritty.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add flour and baking soda.
Gently mix until dough is cohesive.
Separate into 3 equal portions.
To one portion, add the sifted blueberry powder and the cornflowers; mix until homogeneous.
To one portion, add the earl grey tea leaves and the orange zest.
To the final portion, add the vanilla bean.
Portion out small round balls of each dough.
Place 6 small balls together, 2 of each color, alternating colors, and then gently roll them between your palms to swirl together and make one large cookie.
Pat down and place on the baking sheet.
Repeat until all of the dough is used up.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Bake cookies for 15 minutes, removing them at 8 and 12 minute marks to “pan bang” and deflate the cookies.
Once the edges are lightly browned and set, remove from the oven and swirl them around with a cookie cutter to make them round.
Allow to cool completely.