Pants on Fire

Remember how I said I hate baking cookies? Ha, um well…


I have four different cookies to show you.  Er… Tell you about.

Don’t look at me.

I wasn’t lying, but sometimes it’s necessary to bake cookies.  What a drag, I know.


For instance, if your best friend is going back to school and leaving you, cold and alone, you might need to bake some spiced-up chocolate chip cookies, as a parting memento so she won’t forget about you too quickly, while having a private pity party. Just you and half of the cookie dough.

Or!  What if, on the off chance that you needed egg yolks for curd, you put aside the whites to age (For the record, this is pointless.  Regardless, it’s paying homage to the voodoo macaron gods.), then pulled them out of the fridge a few weeks later, weighed them and they were exactly 5 ounces (Okay. 4.9. Forgive me.)?!!  Macarons round two.  Duh.  I shall vanquish thee and thine splitting shells, thou conniving cookies.
 
Ou, qu’est-ce qu’il faut faire lorsqu’on attend l’entré de ton ami (ouais, c’est le français!), qui t’a demandée de faire des biscuits il y a longtemps?  Il faut qu’on fasse les biscuits; quel gentil cadeau, non?
(Or, what do you have to do when you’re waiting for your friend to arrive (yes, the Frenchman), who asked you to make cookies a long time ago?  You have to make cookies; a nice present, no?)
And?  When you have 3/4 of a cup of buttercream left over from those pesky macarons and you need something to send in a care package to your pesky brother, why, it’s obvious!  You simply must make cookies!  Leftover cookies. Waste not want not people!  (No pictures.  Oops.)
Now, I would like to point out that 3 out of 4 of these recipes took me under 30 minutes to prep and bake.  Macarons, not so much.  Even so, it’s safe to say that I’m cookied out.  Cake soon.  Very soon.  Glory hallelujah… I love cakes.
Spiced-Up Chocolate Chip Cookies
ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
splash vanilla
1 tablespoon nutella
1 tablespoon peanut butter
big pinch salt
1 cup + 2 tablespoons flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
big handful chocolate chunks/shavings/chips: as many as you want, you minx
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Cream the butter and sugars together with the salt extremely well until fluffy and light.  Add in the egg and vanilla, beat until combined, then add the nutella and the peanut butter.  Beat until homogeneous.  Add in the flour and baking soda and mix until just combined.  Stir in chocolate chips.  Use an ice cream scoop to portion out cookies, and bake for 10-14 minutes, depending on how chewy/crispy you like your cookies.  
 
Melting Moments
ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened
2 tablespoons confectioner’s sugar
splash vanilla
big pinch sea salt
3/4 cup flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Cream butter and sugar together, then beat in vanilla.  Add in the salt, flour, and cornstarch all at once and mix slowly until it all comes together.  Refrigerate briefly (if your dough is still cool, you don’t have to), and up to a day.  Roll out tablespoon sized balls and bake for 10-14 minutes, until cookies just start to turn golden.  Remove from oven and let cool for 15 minutes, then sprinkle generously with confectioner’s sugar.  
 
Green Tea Ganache
ingredients:
2/3 cup melted white chocolate
2 teaspoons matcha powder
healthy pinch salt
1 cup heavy cream
4 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup mascarpone
directions:
Mix chocolate, matcha, and 1/3 cup heavy cream and allow to sit and come together.  Beat with an immersion blender until smooth.  Set aside and allow to cool.  Once cool, beat with an immersion blender, then add in butter.  Next, beat 2/3 cup heavy cream (in another container) until soft peaks form.  Blend that with the matcha mixture, then beat in the mascarpone.  Put in fridge to firm up before using.
 
For the macarons, I followed BraveTart exactly (she is a master!) but added no coloring or flavoring except for a big honking vanilla bean.  I also used slivered almonds for my nuts.  I then filled them with the matcha ganache.  You will have 3/4- 1 cup of ganache left, but never fear…
 
Leftover Cookies
ingredients:
1 1/2 cups flour
big pinch salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 cup buttercream (any flavor, really)
1 egg
splash vanilla
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup bittersweet chocolate chips
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Beat the egg and sugar and vanilla together.  Add in buttercream, stir just to combine.  Add in all of the flour, salt, and baking soda, and stir just until it comes together.  Stir in the chocolate chips.  Bake for 10-14 minutes, again depending on how chewy you like your cookies.  *These will not spread at all.*

Beat the Heat Up

It’s hot.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed or anything, but a heat wave has swept over America, roasting every square inch from east to west.

It it is as hot as a furnace in the sun. I love it. Kinda.
Though it’s cooling off to some extent, I thought that everyone would appreciate a list of heat wave emergency solutions…

Eat a Popsicle.


Eat gazpacho.


Eat entire watermelons out of your refrigerator.


Lie in your cool basement in front of a fan.


Lie in your underwear in front of said fan.


Sleep nekked.



Banish pants from your vocabulary and your closet. See also: turtlenecks, sweaters, sweatshirts, etc. 


Bake bread on the grill.


Drink sweet tea.


Pant.


Seek out air conditioning (air-con, for Koreans), because the people who run your household have not bothered providing it in any rooms except for theirs, at movie theaters, supermarkets, hospitals, and your friends’ houses.


Do not, and I repeat, do not turn on your oven at any point in time.  Not that you’re stupid enough to do so.


Swim.


Whine.

Make this ice cream.

It’s refreshing, cold, and easy to make. It tastes good, and it is super creamy. Perfect for this heat. 

Anyways, excuse me while I dissolve into a puddle of sweat and ice cream… Mmmm.

 Matcha Chocolate Chunk Ice Cream

Adapted from userealbutter
Ingredients:
6 egg yolks
3 cups whole milk (I used a mixture of half-and-half and 1%)
3/4 cup sugar
4 teaspoons matcha powder
Pinch of sea salt
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/3 to 1/2 cup heavy cream
8 ounces bittersweet chocolate, cut up into chunks
Directions:
Whisk the yolks, sugar, milk, salt, and matcha together in a medium saucepan. Cook on medium heat until mixture thickens. Soft cornstarch over the top and blend with an immersion blender. Cook until mixture is custardy and thick: you should be able to draw a line on the back of a custard-covered spatula with your finger and have the track remain intact.  Remove from heat and cool.  Once cooled, mixture will be a bit congealed.  Whisk in the heavy cream to loosen it up a bit.  Freeze according to your ice cream maker’s instructions, and when it is almost done, add in (or fold in) your chocolate chunks.  Ice cream will harden if you store it in your freezer for a long time, but if you take it out and let it thaw for 5 minutes, scooping should be a breeze.