When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?
Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams — this may be madness.
Too much sanity may be madness — and maddest of all: to see life as it is, and not as it should be!

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote

My days in the hospital are blurry, fuzzy at the edges while they bleed together in busyness.
When I pull back and consider this, how wrong it feels to be living, existing, working within this fast paced monotony when my patients are experiencing heart-rending, time-stopping pain and fear.

I don’t rest well, after returning to civilian normalcy at night. My personal planet is slow, ever-suffering its rotation, painful. I wake with tears drowning me, great gasping breaths just to steady myself—and then I must rise and care for others. How easily tenderness and compassion spill from a broken heart. Yet it is all vague, evaporative, fluffed out around me like a cloud, impossible to determine what I feel for myself, what I feel for others, what I pretend for their sake.
The hollowness at the center of some of these performances is filled with the same fog, still imbued with empathy and the terrible knowing of pain.

This cake is admittedly elaborate and mad, but fun and unique.
A dense, moist base of orange-raspberry olive oil cake is layered with a lush, tart labneh frosting and topped with a golden, crispy crown of pistachio, orange, and rose baklava.
The soft cake base helps to balance the sweetness of the baklava and the labneh is an unexpected twist.

Baklava Cake
makes 1 6″ cake
cake portion adapted from Snacking Cakes by Yossi Arefi
baklava adapted from Simply Recipes

ingredients:
for the olive oil cake:
zest of 1 orange
75 grams (1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons) sugar
85 grams (1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons) olive oil
1 egg
120 grams (1/2 cup) yogurt
1 tablespoon orange juice
100 grams (3/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon) flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/3 cup freeze dried raspberries, optional

for the labneh frosting:
160 grams (2/3 cup) full fat labneh or full fat greek yogurt
3 tablespoons powdered sugar
pinch salt

for the baklava:
2 cups pistachios and walnuts
38 grams (3 tablespoons) sugar
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
pinch cloves
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
85 grams (6 tablespoons) butter
28 grams (2 tablespoons) ghee
1 package (8 ounces) frozen phyllo dough, thawed in the fridge overnight (you will have left over)

for the simple syrup:
150 grams sugar
180 grams water
100 grams (1/3 cup) honey
strips of orange peel from 1 orange
1/2 cinnamon stick
1 tablespoon orange juice
1/8 teaspoon rosewater
big pinch salt

directions:
Make the olive oil cake: grease and flour a 6″ round baking pan.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Rub orange zest into sugar, then whisk in olive oil and egg.
Stir in yogurt and orange juice, then add flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
Stir until homogeneous.
Pour into prepared pan, sprinkle raspberries on top, and bake for 30 minutes or until a tester comes out with a few moist crumbs.
Allow to cool completely.
Meanwhile, make the baklava: butter a 6 inch pan and line with a parchment paper round as well as parchment paper strips to allow the baklava to be lifted out.
Process nuts, sugar, cinnamon, cloves, salt together in a food processor until the nuts are finely ground.
Melt butter and ghee together, set aside.
Cut out 6″ round circles from the thawed phyllo; keep under a moist kitchen towel to prevent it from drying out.
Place 1 phyllo round in the buttered pan.
Gently brush with more melted butter/ghee.
Repeat for a total of 8 sheets as the base of the baklava.
Sprinkle a thin layer of the nut mixture over the 8th phyllo round.
Place 1 phyllo round over the nuts, brush with butter, and place a second one, then brush that one with butter.
Repeat the nuts filling then 2 phyllo sheets 4 times total.
After the final nut filling, place 8 phyllo sheets, brushing each with butter after placing.
Score the phyllo into wedges and diamonds as desired.
Bake at 350 degrees F for 30 minutes, or until crisp and brown.
Make the simple syrup: boil all ingredients together, then decrease to a simmer and simmer for 7 minutes, until thickened.
Strain out the spices/orange peel; keep warm until baklava is done baking, then spoon over the baklava until it is thoroughly moistened (you will likely have leftover syrup).
Allow to cool completely.
Make the labneh frosting: whip all ingredients together, then spoon over the cake base.
Top with the baklava along with raspberries, dried roses, and pistachios.