Swiss Myths

Nothing bad can come of a foodstuff with the word “butter” directly incorporated into its name.
Let’s talk meringue buttercream, people.
Meringue buttercreams are used by professional bakers and cake makers because of their stability, fluffiness, shine, and taste.
When you first taste a meringue buttercream, you will be amazed by the lightness of it.
They are, by far, my favorite way to finish cakes.
American buttercreams, which are a simple combination of butter, powdered sugar, and a liquid, become crusty as the butter dries out and are always too sweet and cloying for my taste.
(I have a common opinion with Rosie of Sweetapolita, however; I agree that cupcakes can be very delightful with a good American buttercream.)
 
Cooked frostings, often called heritage or boiled frostings, made by cooking flour and milk to sub for part of the butter, lack the richness that I think an icing should have and can turn out grainy.
Bloggers extol the virtues of SMB- Swiss meringue buttercream.
I wholly agree; however, SMB can be a real pain in the ass.
First of all, it involves making a Swiss meringue, for which I have no patience.
You have to stand, over a stove, whisking egg whites and sugar in a double boiler as they gently come to temperature and the sugar dissolves.
There’s little hands-off time during this period.  You don’t want the eggs to scramble.
(I hate double boilers!)
 
Whenever I make SMB, I notice a nasty, albeit minuscule  strip of cooked egg whites and sugar right at the top of the mass; these are tiny little flecks that I didn’t sweep up in time, and because the sides of the bowl become very hot from the steam, those tiny flecks cook quickly and become crusty. 
(They’re not omelette-y or eggy or anything, because they’re mainly sugar.  Just crusty.)
I don’t like that.  At all.
 
I don’t want to have to deal with that every time I make a buttercream.
In fact, I don’t ever want to have to deal with a crusty ring of anything.
Thankyouverymuch.
So all this talk about SMB being the best?  I’m here to debunk it.
I prefer the easier, fluffier, and glossier alternative:
SMB’s cousin, or sister, or whoever, Italian meringue buttercream.
Here’s why.
First off, for all the reasons why any egg-based buttercream is great.
1. They are not as sweet as an American buttercream.    
Without all the sugar coating your tongue, flavors are intensified and cleaner.
 
2. They store beautifully.
Whether it’s in the fridge or the freezer, they are wonderful to store and use later, so never think twice if you cannot downsize a recipe and you end up with extra.
There are always uses for buttercream, and there’s nothing more wonderful than pre-made delicious buttercream when you need to frost a couple cupcakes but can’t be bothered to make another batch.
3.  They’re simple.
See that photo right above?  Do any of those four ingredients scare you?
No?  Really? Eggs, butter, sugar, and lemon juice don’t scare you?
Hmm.  Then I guess European-style buttercreams shouldn’t either.
 
4.  They’re not made with Crisco.  Ever.
Buttercream is buttercream for a reason.
Ahem.  
Then, the reasons why I choose IMB over any other European buttercream.

1.  It’s not as rich (or wasteful) as French buttercream.
French buttercream is made with egg yolks in the same manner as Italian meringue- whipping eggs while pouring sugar syrup over them.
All those yolks make for a very, very rich buttercream: almost too rich for me.
Yolks are used in custards, curds, puddings, and ice cream, and as a result, I rarely, if ever, have extra yolks.
Yolks also do not keep well and I always have egg whites on hand from said used yolks.
Egg whites keep well in an airtight container in the fridge for ages.
If I were to make French buttercream as often as I do IMB, I’d be drowning in egg whites.
Absolutely over my head.  

And furthermore, the best use for these egg whites would be an IMB.  It’s the circle of life.
 
2.  It’s quicker and has far less downtime than German buttercream.
German buttercream is based on a thick custard which is allowed to cool and congeal completely, then has butter whipped in.
German buttercream is awesome- don’t get me wrong.  
It tastes like ice cream, because it basically is ice cream, just not frozen and with a whole lot of butter whipped in.
Like ice cream, but better.
More butter= more better.
 
Here’s the thing: in order for the butter to emulsify with the custard, which is already a feat, when you think about it, because custards are already pretty high fat and you’re just shoving a brick of butter into that and expecting to get frosting to come out, you need the custard to be cool.
Like, completely cool.  Like, stick it in your fridge and wait a few hours.
I ain’t got time for dat.
Seriously… once you get your IMB down pat, you can even start to cut time on the relatively short prep time because you’ll be able to add colder butter to a warmer meringue and still have it all work out perfectly.
German buttercream?  Not so much.  You must wait.
I am bad at waiting.
Thus, IMB wins this battle.  Sorry, Germany.
 
3.  Finally, in my humble opinion, Italian meringue trumps Swiss meringue.  On a lot of accounts, enough to convince me that IMB>SMB. 
Italian meringue is quicker.
SMB requires patience to prevent scrambled eggs.  
You have to cook the eggs, then whip the meringue.
With IMB, you cook the eggs while making the meringue.  The whole process of making the buttercream takes only a slight bit longer than making a meringue.

IMB is wonderful because you can incorporate a wealth of flavors right in, by infusing the sugar syrup with another ingredient.
For example, when making a lemon IMB, you can use lemon juice to make the syrup, thus giving the final product a lovely and prominent lemon tang, whereas with an SMB, you must use lemon extract, or whip in a lemon curd (yet another time-costly step) as there’s no direct way to incorporate substantial amounts of liquids.
 
Italian meringues are much more stable than Swiss meringues.
They’re thicker, glossier, and less prone to weeping than Swiss meringues, because they have been fully cooked and stabilized by the hot sugar.
I have had instances where my SMB weeps (little droplets of water escaping from the emulsion and beading on the cake, causing the frosting to separate and slough off, as well as look incredibly unappetizing), but never, ever, has an IMB wept, in mine own experiences, of course.
Okay.  Have I got you sold on Italian meringue buttercream?
Great.
Now how the heck do we make it?
Realtalk:  you’re going to be a little put off when you read any recipe for IMB.
Recipe writers (myself included, sorrynotsorry), are all like…
 meanwhile, while this boiling hot sugar syrup is burbling and bubbling like a cauldron, whip up some egg whites real quick and they should be just perfectly soft but yet stable when you pour this boiling hot sugar over the whipping attachment and try not to hit the whisk because it will shoot syrup straight into your eye or the back of your knee or wherever is most painful and good luck see you on the other side don’t forget the sugar syrup is hot…
 
It’s a load of cra mumbo jumbo.  And the timing thing really throws people off.
Don’t let it throw you off!
I promise, it is not stressful to make a successful IMB, and when people bite into your cake and look up at you with starry eyes and a full mouth and smile, you will be drawn back to make more buttercream.  I just know it.
It’s irresistible for both the baker and the consumer.
Win-win!
So here’s how we do this.
(I’m going to do all of this in American volume measurements to make it more accessible. 
 Generally, however, I do stick to weight with IMB.  Whatever floats your boat, guys.)
 
First, get your mise en place, well, en place.
Gather everything you’re going to need.
Here’s a checklist for a lemon Italian meringue, which is what we’re making today for that cake way the hell up there past all those boring shots of my mixer:
 
1 lemon (2 lemon, red lemon, blue lemon…)
1 cup of sugar
a pinch of cream of tartar
4 egg whites
12 ounces (24 tablespoons, 3 sticks) butter, softened but cool and cut into pieces
measuring cup
thermometer
small-medium heavy bottomed pan
stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment
 
Squeeze dat lemon!  
Get 1/3 cup of juice in your measuring cup and place it straight into your saucepan, right in the middle.  
Now, take your sugar and pour that into the middle of the saucepan as well, right in the middle of your puddle of lemon juice.  
Avoid letting any dry sugar touch the sides of the pan.  This will prevent crystallization.
Place the egg whites and the pinch of cream of tartar into the bowl of your stand mixer.
Start your engines.  On low-medium speed (4-6 on a kitchenaid), begin to whip your egg whites.
Great.  Now ignore them for a little while.

Let’s turn our attention back to the pot; place it on your stove and turn the heat on to a medium-high setting.
Place your thermometer in the pot.
Now, wait.  The sugar will dissolve and the syrup will begin to bubble.
We’re waiting until it hits 245 degrees F.
 
Look back at your egg whites.  How fluffy are they?
When the syrup hits 200, they should be all foam- no thick, liquid egg whites left.
When it hits 240, they should be soft peaks- there should be definite peaks, but they shouldn’t look dry or stiff.
Here’s a secret.  I’ve accidentally added the sugar syrup to over-whipped egg whites, ones that are already at stiff peaks, and under-whipped egg whites, ones that are only beginning to hold peaks.
It works out.  I promise.
Even better?  If you’re nervous that one of the two horses is winning the race by too large a margin, rein it in.  You can turn down the heat on the syrup, or even take it off the heat for 30 seconds.  You can slow down the mixer or even stop it completely.
It works out.  I promise.
Now, your syrup has come to temp and your egg whites are at soft peaks.  Brilliant!
Carefully pour the syrup into the measuring cup.
With the mixer on medium speed (4-5 on a kitchenaid), drizzle the syrup over the meringue, about 1 1/2 inches from the side of the bowl.
That’s the sweet spot; however, if you don’t feel comfortable pouring the sugar with the mixer whipping, don’t.
Instead, turn the mixer off, lift the attachment, drizzle a couple teaspoons on top of the meringue, lower the attachment, and whip on high for 10 seconds.  
Continue to repeat this until all the syrup is gone.  
I think you will quickly find yourself pouring the syrup with the mixer whipping; it is much less tedious.
You’re almost there!
Whip the meringue on high until it has cooled to body temperature; you can feel the sides of the bowl as an indicator.
If your mixer is huffing and puffing and can’t possibly last, just turn it off after 5 or so minutes and let the meringue cool for 10, then whip on high again.
Once your meringue is at body temp, add in your butter a few pieces at a time.
 
You are now going to enter the 5 stages of making an egg-based buttercream.
Here’s the remedy.  Stop freaking out, and keep whipping.
Do.  Not.  Stop.  Whipping.
Don’t you dare touch that lever.
I’m watching you.
Keep whipping.
 
1. (Blissful) Ignorance
When you’re first throwing your butter into the bowl, you could care less.  
You’re not even really paying attention- Real Housewives of Miami is on!  
 
Hey, you throw that butter in there man, the commercial break is over.
Just let it whip.
 
2. Denial
Return to the bowl, la dee da… Oh.  Oh.  Wait.  It looks like my meringue has fallen.
No… the butter must just be on the top.  Right?
I worked too hard to get that meringue to be all fluffy and glossy to have it fall down on me now!
That’s not a fallen meringue, right?!?
Wait.  No.  Babe.  Wait.  Babe! Babe! No!  No! Babe! Wait!  Babe, wait!  Wait, babe!
 
Relax: your meringue is supposed to fall.  That’s the point of this step.  
A fallen meringue is normal and I promise all your baking friends’ meringues have fallen, too.
 
3. Panic (re: curdling)
Now what?  Well, your buttercream looks really curdled.  
There are all these nasty little butter pieces.  
It looks like you should trash the whole shebang.
Definitely trash it.  Oh my gosh.  What do I do?  Look at those curds- what are those?!
 
Do.  Not.  Stop.  Whipping. 
A curdled look just indicates that your butter was a touch too cold.
If you keep whipping, the temperatures will become more evenly distributed and the curdling will disappear.
Keep whipping.
 
4. Anger (re: liquidity)
Okay, the curds have gone away.  Now it looks like I have a glaze type deal going on in my mixing bowl.
Why is it so damn thin?  I thought this was supposed to be some fluffy s#*!.
I swear to GOD I am never going back on that dumb blog.  Tuh!
 
Surprise!  You know what the solution is going to be?
If you guessed “keep whipping,” you’re getting somewhere.
Liquid is normal.  The butter will soon emulsify.
You’ll hear a noise while the frosting is thin, a splashy sort of mixing noise.
When the butter starts to emulsify, the noise will thicken, and become a whap-whap-whap noise; this will indicate that your buttercream is getting some body and oomph!
Keep whipping until you hear that noise!
 
5. Satisfaction
You frost that cake, you sassy little minx!  Look at you and your fluffy, shiny, gorgeous IMB.
You rock.  You roll.
You should be the next Food Network Star looking all professional with that buttercream.
Mmmhmmm.
Moral of the story: making a meringue buttercream is not that bad.  And it’s totally worth it.

You can use it to frost a cake like the one I have here today, which was made to celebrate my dad and also my parents’ anniversary, which was a few days back.
(27 years!  You go, Glen Coco!)

It’s a strawberry cake sandwiched with the lightest white cake imaginable, and surrounded with a thick, luscious layer of lemon IMB.
It’s a striking cake.  It screams summer.
And it’s great practice for some Italian meringue buttercream frosting.

A few words, then I’ll shut up, because this post is long enough already-god who do I think I am trying to make you read this long post while you have all that work that’s sitting by the wayside crazy food temptress blogger lady.

Straight out of the mixing bowl, IMB is perfect for crumb coats and smooth finishes.
Refrigerate it for 15 or so minutes to firm it up a bit in order to pipe roses and the like.

Congratulations to my father, you are an inspiration.
And to the both of my two wonderful parents, I like you guys alright. 

Hoo!  Boy, I need a nap and a piece of cake stat.
 

Berries and Cream Cake
for the strawberry cake:
heavily adapted from A Dash of Sass
ingredients:
1 1/2 cups AP flour
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
scant 1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 scant cup frozen strawberries
1 cup sugar
3 ounces (6 tablespoons, 3/4 stick) butter
3 eggs
splash vanilla
splash strawberry extract, optional
rose colored food coloring, optional
directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F and grease and flour two 6-inch pans.
Stir the flour, baking powder, and salt together.
Microwave the strawberries until they are falling apart and have released their juice, about 1 minute.
Puree the berries and measure out 3/4 cup.
Cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
Add in the eggs one at a tim.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add the strawberry and vanilla extracts and food coloring, if desired.
Add the strawberry puree and mix on high until well blended.
Add in the flour and mix until homogeneous.

Pour into prepared pans and bake for 20-25 minutes, until a tester comes out clean.
for the white cake:
adapted from i am baker
ingredients:
1 cup AP flour
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
6 tablespoons butter, cut into pieces
1/2 cup milk
3 egg whites
splash vanilla extract
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and grease and flour two 6-inch pans.
Mix the flour, cornstarch, salt, baking powder, and sugar together.
Mix the milk, egg whites, and vanilla together in a measuring cup.
Add the butter and mix until most of the butter is broken up; add in half of the milk mixture and allow to beat on high until everything is incorporated (batter will still be very thick).
Add in the second half of the milk mixture and mix to combine.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and mix again.
Pour batter into prepared pans and bake for 20-25 minutes, until the tops are golden and a tester comes out clean.
for the lemon Italian meringue buttercream:
adapted from Sky High
ingredients:
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
1 cup sugar
4 egg whites
pinch cream of tartar
12 ounces (3 sticks) butter, softened but cool and cut into pieces
directions:
Place the lemon juice in a heavy bottomed pan and add the sugar to the center of the pan.
Place the egg whites and cream of tartar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment.
Start to whip the egg whites.
Meanwhile, cook the sugar syrup: without stirring, allow the syrup to come up to 245 degrees F, about 5 minutes.
Keep an eye on the egg whites; when your syrup reaches 240 degrees F, your egg whites should be soft peaks.
Once your syrup comes up to temperature, remove it from the heat and pour it into a measuring cup.
With the mixer running on medium speed, slowly and carefully drizzle the hot syrup over the meringue.
Try to avoid hitting the whisk attachment directly, as this will cause splattering on the sides of the bowl.
Once all the syrup has been added, whip on high for 10 or so minutes, until the meringue is cooled to body temperature.
Once the meringue has cooled, add in the butter a few pieces at a time while whipping on high.

After adding all the butter, the frosting may be liquid-like; keep whipping until it thickens up and becomes fluffy.
(You will hear a sudden change in the sound of the mixer; this indicates that the frosting is thickening up.)
to assemble:
Place one of the cooled strawberry cakes on your cake plate or other serving dish.
Place 1/4 cup of frosting over the cake and spread out; add a few more tablespoons if you need to.
Place a cooled white cake over that layer and repeat.
Repeat with the next two cakes.
Thinly frost the cake to ensure that no crumbs will escape.
Add the rest of the frosting to the top of the cake and smooth it out, moving down the sides to create crisp edges.
Finish as desired; serve at a cool room temperature.

Specific


Well y’all, this has been a long week of speculoos-related goods.  

A long and delicious week.
I’m ready to share some other stuff, though, so this is the last Biscoff post… for a while, anyways.


These little bars are brunettes- not blondies.
That’s because they have too much going on and I cannot possibly describe all of that in a single title.
Thus, brunettes.  They’ve got speculoos and all the accompanying spices, brown butter, maple, white chocolate, butterscotch, and a sinful glaze.
They’re just a little darker and more complex than any run of the mill bar cookie.
They’re a good way to end this lovely week.

Biscoff Brunettes
cookie portion adapted from Picky Palate
ingredients:
for the cookies:
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/4 cup white chocolate chips
1/4 cup butterscotch chips
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 cup speculoos spread (make your own!)
2 eggs
1 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 cup granulated sugar
(optional) 1/2 cup white chocolate chips
for the glaze:
2 tablespoons butter, browned
2 tablespoons maple syrup
big pinch sea salt
3 tablespoons confectioners sugar
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and lightly grease an 8×8 pan.
Brown the butter in a heavy bottomed pan.
Once it is browned, stir in the chips and maple syrup and continue stirring until they melt.
Add in the salt and speculoos spread and mix until all in combined.
Beating quickly, add in the eggs; continue mixing very quickly so they don’t scramble.
Add in the flour, sugar, and baking powder and mix to combine.
Finally, stir in the white chocolate chips.
Pour into pan and bake for 25-30 minutes, until a tester comes out clean.
Right after you take the cookies out of the oven, whisk all of the glaze ingredients together.
Pour over hot bars and allow to cool.
Slice and enjoy!

Speckled

Part III.  Gird your loins.
Here’s an easy fix for any (and all) cravings.
Puppy chow/muddy buddies are a classic childhood treat.
I remember making these when I was in elementary school.
Melt (peanut butter), chocolate, butter, add Chex, finish with a heaping pile of confectioner’s sugar.
They couldn’t be easier.  Really.
In this case, I’ve swapped the peanut butter for cookie butter.
Now, these little guys are sweetly spiced, but still crunchy, sweet, and very addictive.
It’s important not to zone out around puppy chow- before you know it, the whole batch is gone! 
And then you have to make more…
Rather than going with all semi-sweet chocolate, I swapped half for milk and half for white chocolate.
The milkiness of this combination really plays off of the deep brown sugar in the cookie butter.
They’re divine and so simple to make!
More good news?  I have an even easier cookie butter recipe coming stat.
Two more recipes, and I think my speculoos reserve will be all used up!


Biscoff Muddy Buddies
adapted from Chex
ingredients:
9 cups Rice Chex or other Chex cereal

2 ounces (1/4 cup, 4 tablespoons) butter
1/2 cup biscoff spread (make your own!)
2 milk chocolate bars, coarsely chopped, or about 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
enough white chocolate chips to make 1 cup of chocolate when combined with the roughly chopped milk chocolate (chop the milk chocolate and add it to a 1 cup measure, then fill to the top with white chocolate chips) (approximately 1/2 cup)
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

directions:
Brown the butter in a heavy bottomed saucepan.

Add in the speculoos spread and the chocolate and stir to melt and combine.
Pour mixture over the cereal and stir very well until every piece is coated- this will take a little while, maybe 3 or 4 minutes, gently folding with a spatula, as the mixture is very thick.
Place 1/2 cup of powdered sugar in the bottom of a gallon ziplock bag.
Add in 1/2 of the coated cereal, then add another 1/2 cup powdered sugar over the cereal.  
Add the rest of the cereal, and put the last 1/2 cup powdered sugar over that.
Zip the bag and gently toss around so that all of the cereal is coated with powdered sugar.

Spectacular

Just the name of this dessert gives me the goosebumps… Hello, lover.
This should be a sin.
This probably is a sin.
Gooey.  Biscoff.  Butter.  Cake.
Wait.  I went even further.
Gooey.  Biscoff.  Brown Butter.  Cake.
Good Lord have mercy on my poor, poor soul.
 
Speculoos cookie butter is blended into cream cheese and eggs, augmented with sugar, and poured over a brown butter cake base, then baked until barely set.
 
When you cut into this (first you have to endure the agony of a multiple-hour cooling period), the filling oozes and sticks to the knife and by Jove, you know you’re in for a treat.
It’s subtly spicy, and so creamy.
It’s decadent and delicious.
I packaged this up and sent it with my mom to her office.  

In her words, people “freaked out.”
It’s called a gooey butter cake, for Pete’s sake, what do you expect?

This was part II of the speculoos series on this here blog.
There’s still more to come.

Praise Yeezus.

P.S. I graduate today… If all goes well, I’ll post about that soon enough.  Weird.
Gooey Biscoff Brown Butter Cake
adapted from Bake Your Day, via Confessions of a Cookbook Queen
ingredients:
for the cake base:
2 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 egg
1/2 cup (4 ounces, 8 tablespoons) butter, browned
2 tablespoons milk
splash vanilla extract
for the gooey layer:
8 ounces cream cheese
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup Biscoff (make your own!)
16 ounces powdered sugar
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease a 9×13 inch pan.
Make the cake base: whisk flour, sugar, salt, and baking powder together, then add in the butter, milk, vanilla, and egg.
Whisk very well to combine, then press into the bottom of the prepared pan.
Make the gooey Biscoff layer: beat cream cheese on high until softened and fluffy.  
Add both the eggs in and beat on high until mixture is lightened in color and homogeneous.
Beat in the Biscoff and vanilla.
Mix in the powdered sugar, making sure that everything is combined and there are no lumps.
Pour over the cake base in your pan and bake for 35-40 minutes, until the top is puffed and shiny and the edges are set.  
The interior of the cake will continue to cook, so it should still be jiggly when you pull it out of the oven.
Allow to cool completely before cutting into the cake.

Speculative

These cookies are wholly counterproductive.
Welcome to the first installation of uses for your homemade speculoos spread (other than ravaging it with a spoon).
Basically, we made cookies to make cookies.
Oh, my lyfe.
 
These cookies are similar to peanut butter cookies, but they use cookie butter (can we just appreciate that for a minute?) in lieu of the traditional nut butter.
They’re big and soft and they make perfect sandwich cookies when pressed together with some dark chocolate ganache.
I’m telling you, these are not gingersnaps.  
Stop trying to make them gingersnaps in your head.  
They’re not.  I did it too.  Trust me. 
They’re more like lightly spiced peanut butter cookies.
Make them and you will appreciate this sentiment.
You will also be annoyed that you had to make cookies, grind them up, and then make cookies again.  It’s worth it my dear.
 
(Also, any excuse to pull out my Swedish pearl sugar is worth it.  
Let me just say how obsessed I am with this stuff.  It’s like sprinkles.  Addictive.
I actually prefer it over the larger, coarser Belgian pearl sugar, but you could theoretically coat these in the Belgian stuff, although it will add a lot more sweetness and crunch.  
You could also sub regular or turbinado sugar, but you’ll get less crunch.
 
I’m starting to think you could also coat these in sprinkles and then you’d have sprinkle Biscoff cookies and whaaa that’s a trap I’m getting out okay bye.)

 

Biscoff Cookies
adapted from Baking Bites
makes 6 large sandwich cookies
ingredients:
4 ounces (8 tablespoons, 1/2 cup) butter
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
pinch each cinnamon, ground cloves, and ginger
scant 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 cup Biscoff (make your own!)
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
swedish pearl sugar, or turbinado sugar, for rolling
for the ganache:
1/3 cup dark chocolate chips
2 tablespoons heavy cream
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Line 2 sheet pans with parchment paper.
Beat butter on high until fluffy and soft, about 1 minute.  
Add in the sugars, spices, and the salt and beat on high until all of sugar is dissolved and mixture is very light in color and shiny and not-gritty in texture, about 3 minutes.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add in the egg and vanilla extract.  
Beat for 3 more minutes.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add in the Biscoff and beat for 1 minute.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add in the flour, baking soda, and baking powder.
Mix just until homogeneous, about 1 minute.
Using a large cookie scoop, or an ice cream scoop, scoop out 12 cookies. 
Gently roll them in the pearl sugar, making sure to coat all parts of the cookie.
Bake for 9-10 minutes, until puffy.  
They will look very underdone and will still be extremely soft in the middle; they will look somewhat uncooked in the very center.
Allow to cool on the sheet pans; the cookies will decompress and retain their softness, but the residual heat will ensure that they are not raw.
Once cooled, make the ganache.
Microwave the chocolate chips and cream together until the chips are mostly melted; do this in 30 second bursts.  
Stir to combine and finish melting the chocolate.
Spread between two cookies and sandwich them!

Love’s Light Wings

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
by any name would smell as sweet…”
Romeo and Juliet, Act II Scene II
 
Yesterday, I ran a marathon.  
 
Which is my excuse for not having a WISE blog post in more than a week.
It’s also my excuse for being late to all my classes today.
Stairs are just a wee bit difficult today.
 
Here’s a Super Sad True Love Story super short true summary of the super long (26.2 mile) race:
(I break long runs into chunks… I like to pretend that it makes it less mentally exhausting.  
It doesn’t.  But hey.)
 
Miles 1-8 are terrifying.  In the beginning, I’m stiff and aching and tired, which makes me very nervous for what’s ahead, seeing as I’m huffing and puffing and I’ve only run 2 miles.  
Luckily, by mile 6, I’m locked and loaded on cruise control.
At which point, I look at my Garmin and realize, 
I have 20 miles to go.  Jésus Marià.
 
Miles 8-13 are spent surreptitiously looking at my fellow runners’ shoes, to see which of them have the bright orange D tags which were only given to marathon runners to record times.  I have the sinking realization that there aren’t many runners around me with tags.
 
Miles 13-20 are my fastest.  I spend time listening to “I Don’t Care” by Iconapop.  As in, on repeat for about 50 minutes.  No shame.
I pick out runners to pass and do so by powering through all of the water stations- I keep the word “slingshot” in my head and will myself not to stop or slow down, and in doing so, spill about 4 brimming cupfuls of bright orange Gatorade down my white shirt.  Good looks.
 
Miles 20-25 are grueling.  The stations ran out of power gels around mile 18, and my own supply has also been completely diminished.  My glycogen is running on red and I am not a happy camper.
I keep thinking why the hell Pheidippides didn’t take a damn horse.
Seriously, what in god’s name was wrong with him?  
 
25-26.2 are like running another 12 miles.  Where was the finish line again?
Why do I still see people running?  
Are we done yet?
My intended mile split was a 10:25.  I ended up finishing 23 seconds ahead of that, with a 10:02 average mile split.  I’m not the fastest, that’s fo’ sho.  Honestly I’m just glad to have crossed the finish line!!!
 
(Turns out, I finished first in my division, female 15-19 year olds.  That was a surprise!)
Back to our regularly scheduled program: WISE jabber.
 
In class today, I had a revelation: in truth, I’ve been doing plenty of “research,” which is basically just utilizing different sources. 
What I haven’t been doing is keeping a proper log of said resources- different blogs and cookbooks etc.- which means that I have some serious back work to do.  Ahem.
Also, I received my time slot for my presentation!
June 10th from 3-4 PM.  More details later.
 
I chose the name of this post, and the intro, because a) it’s one of Shakespeare’s most classic, and one of my favorite, scenes and b) because the dessert I’m showing to you is a misnomer and should have a different name.
Right? Right.
 
This dessert is based on a deconstruction of the famous German chocolate cake.
Which, in truth, is not the slightest bit German.
It’s based off of a recipe that appeared in 1957 in a newspaper’s recipe of the day column, which used a type of chocolate that had been developed more than a century earlier, in 1852, by Sam German, a worker in the Baker’s chocolate factory; it was a sweeter dark baking chocolate, which was marketed as Baker’s German Sweet Chocolate.
Thus was the German chocolate cake born, a coconut and pecan and chocolate melange that is not the most attractive, but one of the more delicious.
German cake≠German.  Confusing, I know.
(This information is from The Baker Chocolate Company: A Sweet History by Anthony M. Sammarco, googlebook accessed via Wikipedia.)
 
This dessert has the added benefit of being completely vegan.  
 
I’m thinking of using a version of this for my presentation, because it would be incredibly easy to make gluten-free, thus making it almost entirely allergy-free (it does have coconut and pecan… those are kind of unavoidable) and a good dessert to share with many people who may have various allergies.
I plated it two ways because I couldn’t get a quenelle to smooth out the first go-round and I ended up disliking the chocolate flecks on the first few plates.
 
(P.S. remember how I was so pumped about my quenelles a few WISE posts back?  
Yeah, those darned footballs are coming back to bite me in the butt.  It took me a good 5 minutes to get the quenelle you see perfectly smooth.  My family keeps recycling the containers I use for my ice cream, so that’s not helping…)
 
*Note to my father:  Can you please, please, please stop recycling the date containers that I diligently wash out and save?  You’re making my quenelles ten times more difficult than they need to be.  Thank you.  Loveyameanit.*
German
chocolate cake
salted caramel
bittersweet ganache
candied pecans
coconut ice cream
Mile 12.5.  Eating a gu and feeling güd.
 Mile 20.  The longest uphill slog of the course; it was gradual, but felt never ending. 
 
Mile 25; back on the streets.
Don’t let the smile fool you; I could barely remain standing long enough to rip off my water belt and iPod in order to take this photo.
 
“German”
 
for the cake:
ingredients:
1/2 cup flour
1/3 cup sugar
4 teaspoons extra dark cocoa powder
rounded 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons coconut oil, measured then melted
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup water
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Spray a six inch cake pan with baking spray.
Stir the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, and salt together.
Add the coconut oil and vinegar, then the water, and stir it all together, gently.
Once it is just barely homogeneous, pour into the pan.
Bake for 20-25 minutes until the cake is springy to the touch and a tester comes out clean.
 
for the ganache:
ingredients:
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped finely
2 ounces sugar
2 ounces coconut milk, light or full-fat
1 tablespoon coconut oil
pinch kosher salt
directions:
Place the chocolate, oil, and salt in a bowl.
Heat the milk and sugar up together until boiling, then pour over the chocolate.
Allow to sit for 3 minutes, then stir together.
Blend with an immersion blender to emulsify.
 
for the caramel:
ingredients:
1/4 cup sugar
6 tablespoons coconut milk, light or full-fat
1 tablespoon coconut oil
liberal pinch kosher salt
directions:
Heat the sugar up in a heavy saucepan with tall sides until deep amber, about 7 minutes.
Once the sugar reaches the proper color, remove from heat and add the milk and oil.  
Mixture will bubble and sizzle violently.
Whisk until smooth, then add in the salt.  
If caramel gets a skin before use, just gently heat and stir to return it to proper consistency.
 
for the candied pecans:
ingredients:
1 tablespoon coconut oil
1/2 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup loosely packed brown sugar
pinch kosher salt
1/4 cup (you could go up to almost 1/2 cup with this amount of glaze; you’ll have extra if you use 1/4 cup) pecan halves
directions:
Toast the pecans lightly in a skillet, about 2 minutes.
In another saucepan, heat the oil, vinegar, sugar, and salt until bubbling.
Remove from heat and stir in pecans.
Pour mixture onto a sheet pan lined with silpat.
Allow to cool until glaze sets.
 
for the ice cream:
ingredients:
1 can (14 ounces) light coconut milk
1 tablespoon coconut oil
pinch salt
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon cornstarch
directions:
Bring everything to a boil, whisking constantly.
Transfer to a blender canister and allow to sit for 4 minutes to cool.
Blend, being careful to vent the blender and cover with a towel to protect yourself from hot splashes, until frothy and homogeneous.
Allow to cool to room temperature, then freeze in your ice cream machine.
Store in freezer until use.
 
to assemble:
toasted coconut
directions:
Plate the caramel sauce and the ganache first; either smear them both across the plate or use a fork’s tines to splatter the chocolate onto the plate.
Arrange cake crumbles on one end of the smears; follow with candied pecans.
Carefully place coconut where desired.
Finish with a scoop or quenelle of coconut ice cream.

Sweet Heaven

Thou art the vegetable most unsung.
Scorned for the raw sourness you impart,
though your sapor glides, winged, o’er the tongue.
O! sweet rhubarb! Thine flesh, stringed and tart, 
melts into the ambrosia of the gods.
Thy ruby hue knows no earthly confines;
deepens when simmer’d with a vanilla pod.
Thine taste is heightened by nutmeg and wine.


Be not forlorn, for here ready I stand,
thy sweet delicacy must be made known
I stand proud, lemon and rhubarb in hand,
layers set thee on thy velvet throne.

Tis past time for us to make way, posthaste!
‘Tis time to revel in thy piquant taste.

 

Ahem.  Yes, I wrote a sonnet.
… About rhubarb.
It happens, okay?!
I just love this weird ass vegetable.  
I like most weird vegetables.
I identify with them.  They’re like my tribe.
 
I, too, do not move and spend much of my life under a thick layer of dirt.
I, too, do not fit in with the rest of the produce aisle.
I, too, frighten many as they open up their CSA box to see me sitting inside.
Rhubarb is so yucky when uncooked- fibrous, extremely sour, and, hello! poisonous.
Yet there is a magical transformation that takes place when rhubarb is subjected to heat, sweetened just a touch, and spiked with plenty of nutmeg, vanilla, and salt.
Magical.  
It melts down and becomes velveteen and ever so silky.
The vegetal taste is lost, and transforms into a mysteriously addicting, but difficult to describe, earthy, fruity flavor.
Rhubarb and strawberries and lemon were meant to be together.
Rhubarb is thus the gateway drug vegetable between winter and summer produce.
Lemons abound (year round, really) in the winter, when citrus is essentially the only fruit to be found.
Strawberry season begins in spring and extends well into summer.
But rhubarb, wily and tricksy (tricksy little hobbitses) as it is, has a very brief season, right at the beginning of spring; after early spring, it becomes increasingly harder to find.
Marry these three (I suppose you could even add in some raspberries, you minx), and you have a divine combination, which hits your taste buds in all the right places.
Seriously.  I took one bite of this cake and promptly cut myself another slice.
I’m not kidding.  The cake was all but gone this morning, when I finished it off for breakfast.
It’s that good.
The crisp meringue softens slightly and becomes pillowesque and marshmallow-y, while the whipped cream plays gorgeously off of all the tartness coming from the rhubarb, strawberries, and lemon, providing just enough richness to please your palate.
Now, it’s true that I prefer fruit desserts (especially lemon curd) over chocolate ones (strange but true), but I am not exaggerating when I say this is one of my all time favorite cakes, perhaps even the numero uno big dog.
 
And it’s not even cake!
It’s a miracle.
P.S. Have you met my friend, Kohlrabi?
She looks like an alien space capsule and a squid mixed with a cabbage.
Just beautiful.
 
Sweet Heaven Cake
note: I tried to keep the sugar to a minimum here, because I prefer tart desserts.  
If you prefer things sweeter, feel free to bump up the sugar in the lemon curd to 5 or 6 tablespoons, and to increase the maple syrup in the compote (I free-poured somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 of a cup and that was plenty).  
You can also increase the sugar in the meringue to 3/4 cup, but I don’t think that is necessary.  
Oh, and also, you can sweeten the whipped cream with a tablespoon or so of powdered sugar.
for the meringue layers:
ingredients:
6 egg whites
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/2 cup sugar
pinch salt
splash vanilla extract
directions:
Preheat oven to 250 degrees F.  
Line two sheet pans with parchment and trace 2 six inch circles on each.
Whip the egg whites with the cream of tartar and salt until they begin to foam.
Slowly begin to add in the sugar, about 1 teaspoon at a time, until meringue is stiff and holds peaks.
Whip in the vanilla extract.
Transfer to a piping bag, or go freehand- pipe out meringue, about 3/4 inch thick, onto each of the pre-traced circles.
Bake for 2 or so hours, until the meringue is no longer sticky and is slightly golden.  
Turn off the oven and allow the meringue to cool completely in the oven; prop the door with a wooden spoon handle.
for the rhubarb compote:
1 pound rhubarb, chopped into 1/4 inch moons
1/2 cup maple syrup, to taste
pinch nutmeg
pinch salt
splash vanilla extract
directions:
Place all ingredients except vanilla in a large sauce pot; heat over medium high heat until the rhubarb breaks down and the whole compote has no chunks. 
Stir in the vanilla and let cool.
for the lemon curd:
adapted from Alice Medrich
1/3 cup lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon lemon zest
1 egg
scant quarter cup sugar
pinch salt
directions:
Whisk everything together and cook on medium low heat, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens and coats the back of a spoon, about 6 minutes.  
Remove from heat and allow to cool.
to assemble:
ingredients:
1/2 cup cold heavy cream, whipped softly with a pinch of agar (optional)
sliced and whole strawberries
directions:
Place your first meringue layer on a cake stand or plate.  
Spread lemon curd over it, then spoon rhubarb compote in the middle and spread over the curd.  
Place your second layer on top of the first, then spread whipped cream over it.  
Add rhubarb compote and spread over the cream,then layer sliced strawberries over the compote.
Place the third layer over the second, and repeat the steps for the first layer.
Place the fourth layer on top, and dollop/spread the rest of the whipped cream over it.
Decorate with more sliced and whole strawberries.

Cheeky

I’ve made you something,
dearest and belov’d readers:
marshmallows, for you!
 photo output_fp8R4W_zps6e0218f4.gif
Big, fat, and fluffy,
sweet, tangy, tart, and fruity
marshmallow pillows.
 
Candy in candy-
this is what Willy Wonka 
wanted all along.
 
Powdery and white,
with passion fruit and sweetarts,
maple syrup, too.
Crunchy surprises,
awaiting your eager teeth,
hidden in this treat.
 
Cushioned outside
yields to even gentle bites;
so tender and sweet!
 
 
Sweetart and Passion Fruit Marshmallows
further adapted from my snobby krispie treats
ingredients:
1/2 cup passionfruit purée, liquid
2 tablespoons plus 2 1/2 teaspoons unflavored gelatin
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
2 egg whites
1 box sweetarts, crushed
confectioner’s sugar, for dusting
directions:
Oil and dust a 13x9x2 pan with confectioner’s sugar (not too much oil!).
Sprinkle the gelatin over the passionfruit in the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with the whisk attachment.
Stir to ensure all the gelatin is wet.
Meanwhile, stir the sugar, salt, water, and maple syrup together in a large pot.
Heat over medium-high heat until the syrup mixture reaches 240 degrees F.
Pour over gelatin mixer and stir on low to combine, then raise speed to high and beat until fluffy, white, and tripled in volume, about 5 minutes on the very highest speed.
Meanwhile, beat the egg whites to stiff peaks.  
Once the gelatin has reached triple its original volume, add in the egg whites and mix until completely combined.
Add in the sweetarts and mix to combine.
Pour the mixture (it will be extremely thick and sticky) into the pan and smooth it out the best you can.  Sift a thin layer of confectioner’s sugar over the top of the marshmallow, ensuring that the entire top is covered in sugar.
Refrigerate for 3 hours and up to a full 12.
The marshmallow should be firm and springy to the touch.
Flip the marshmallow onto a cutting board and cut into cubes.  Toss with a bit of confectioner’s sugar, making sure all 6 sides of each marshmallow are covered.
Store in an airtight container.

Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop

Short and sweet today, y’all.
(I have a nap penciled in in about 15 minutes.  I’m very busy.  Island time.  It happens.)
This is a cake I made a few months back, to celebrate (mourn?) the end of my basketball season.
Yes, it’s taken me that long to get around to writing this post.  I’m a little slow on the uptake.
  
It was pretty ridiculous, ridiculously indulgent, and indulgently delicious.  
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like the combination of chocolate and orange.
Seriously.  One of my favorite things in the entire world, ever, is those chocolate-orange things.  You know, the chocolates which look like oranges and have orange in them and separate into little orange wedges?
Chocolate and cheesecake, a match made in heaven, is only made better by the addition of orange.
But I didn’t stop there.  I have no self-control, remember?  
Nay, I kept going.  “What else can I add into this cake?”
Well, nutella… 
Ugh.  Dead.  I’m dead.  That’s it.  There’s no going back; my tastebuds will no longer accept anything but this.
Here’s a secret, just between you and me:
These photos were taken the night before our last practice, meaning that I cut a slice out of the cake just to take photos- not the most, erhm, proper behavior in the world.
How rude!  I do de-clay-uh.
So, I took the photos, and slid it back in place.
Spackled the frosting back together, strategically placed some chocolate curls over the evidence, and served it the next day.
No one noticed.  
Victory!
 
Can you tell how badly I want to be a southern belle?  
(The font I always use, for the record, is Georgia.)

Mouthful (Chocolate-Nutella-Orange-Cheesecake) Cake
For the cheesecake layer:
(from Piece of Cake via RecipeGirl)
ingredients:
16 ounces of cream cheese, softened
2/3 cup granulated sugar
pinch of salt
2 eggs
1/3 cup sour cream
1/3 cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
directions:
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. 
Place a large roasting pan on the lower third rack of the oven. 
Place a kettle of water on the stove to boil. 
Spray a 9-inch springform pan with nonstick spray and line the bottom with a round of parchment paper. 
Wrap a double layer of foil around the bottom and up the sides of the pan (you want to seal it so the water from the water bath doesn’t seep into the pan). 
In a large bowl, use an electric mixer to mix the cream cheese- blend until it is nice and smooth and creamy. 
Mix in sugar and salt and blend for 2 minutes, scraping down sides of the bowl as needed. 
Add eggs, one at a time, blending after each addition. 
Finally, mix in sour cream, whipping cream and vanilla. 
Mix until smooth. 
Pour the batter into the prepared pan. 
Set the pan into the roasting pan in the pre-heated oven. 
Carefully pour the hot water from your kettle into the roasting pan (it will fill the pan surrounding the cheesecake). 
Pour enough water so that there is about an inch of water coming up the foil along the sides of the cheesecake pan. 
Bake the cheesecake for 45 minutes. 
It should be set to the touch and not jiggly. 
Remove the cheesecake from the roasting pan and let it cool on a wire rack for at least an hour. 
When it has cooled, place the pan into the freezer and let the cheesecake freeze completely. 

For the cake layers:
adapted from Gourmet via epicurious
ingredients:

2 1/2 cups flour
1/4 cup cornstarch (you can also use 2 3/4 cups cake flour, omitting the cornstarch and AP flour)
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
4 large whole eggs
zest of one entire orange
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1/3 cup orange juice, freshly squeezed
1/3 cup sour cream or buttermilk
1/3 cup milk
handful of mini chocolate chips; enough for a healthy sprinkling on two 9 inch layers
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease and flour two 9-inch cake pans.
Rub the sugar and zest together with your fingers until very fragrant.
Beat the butter until softened, then add in the orange sugar.
Cream together until very fluffy and light, about 3 minutes.
Beat in eggs one at a time, scraping after each addition, then add in the vanilla.
Stir the sour cream, juice, and milk together.
Stir the flour, cornstarch, baking powder, and salt together.
Either alternate adding the wet and dry or slowly dump them in at the same time (my preferred method… Just go slow so the flour doesn’t go all over).
Mix just until homogeneous, then pour into prepared pans.
Sprinkle the mini chocolate chips over the batter, and bake until golden and springy to the touch, about 20-25 minutes.  A cake tester should come out nearly clean, with perhaps just a few crumbs sticking on.
Allow to cool completely before assembling the cake.
For the frosting:
ingredients:
2 sticks butter
1 3/4- 2 cups confectioners’ sugar
big pinch salt
3/4 cup Ovaltine
1/2 cup nutella
splash vanilla extract
splash cream, if needed
directions:
Beat butter until soft, about 2 minutes.
Add in the ovaltine, nutella, salt, and vanilla, and beat to combine.
Slowly add in the powdered sugar, tasting to check the sweetness. (If you need more powdered sugar to thicken the consistency, be sure to add in a pinch more salt; you can also add in some more ovaltine for thickening.)
Play with the amount of powdered sugar to thicken the frosting; environments differ and really affect the thickness/pipeability.  If you need it to really thicken, don’t add too much more sugar or ovaltine, instead, stick it in the freezer for a few minutes to firm up.
If your frosting is too thick, add a splash of cream, about 2 teaspoons at a time, to thin it out a bit.  Don’t add too much, and wait between additions, because if it becomes soupy, there’s no going back.
To assemble:
Apply a thin layer of icing on the chocolate chip side of the first layer.
Place the frozen cheesecake layer on top, and spread another thin layer on top of that.
Place the second cake layer, chocolate chip side up, on top of the cheesecake.
Crumb-coat the whole cake in a thin layer of frosting, then chill it, either in the freezer or fridge, for 10-15 minutes in the freezer or 15-20 in the fridge.
Take the cake out and generously frost it with the remaining icing.
To smooth out the sides, dip an offset spatula in hot water, wipe it off, and gently run it on the outside of the cake.

Top with chocolate curls, if desired.