Category: classics

by Rachel Sally

Spectrum

Remember how I said that people like to shove cookie butter into every dessert imaginable?
 
Well then, this swap of cookie butter for peanut butter should come as no surprise to you.
Cookie butter cups!  
The only problem with these is that the cookie butter mixture for the middle has to be formed into little patties- if it were more liquid and pourable, the little cups would have even tops, just like the peanut butter cups we all know and love.
A lumpy top is but a small price to pay for these.
 
The dark chocolate combines with the spices to give two or three perfectly creamy and balanced bites from each confection. (and then you reach for another… and another…)
Bonus?  They’re super quick and easy to make.
(I tempered my chocolate, which takes a bit longer, but feel free to add a teaspoon of shortening and a teaspoon of corn syrup to melted chocolate to make an approximation!)
This is a peanut butter cup.  This is a peanut butter cup on drugs…

 

Speculoos Cups
makes about 9
adapted from the Little Kitchen
ingredients:
1/4 cup speculoos spread (make your own!)
1 1/2 tablespoons butter
pinch of salt
1/4 cup powdered sugar
about 2 cups dark chocolate, tempered (or see approximation above)
directions:
Put cookie butter and butter in microwave and heat in 30 second bursts until melted.
Stir in salt and powdered sugar until a thick paste forms.
Set out 9 cupcake liners and drop about a teaspoon of chocolate into the bottom of each.
Form small patties of speculoos mixture and nestle them into the chocolate.
Finish each cup by filling it with chocolate until the patty is covered.
Allow to set by placing in the freezer or fridge, then unwrap and enjoy!

by Rachel Sally

Speckled

Part III.  Gird your loins.
Here’s an easy fix for any (and all) cravings.
Puppy chow/muddy buddies are a classic childhood treat.
I remember making these when I was in elementary school.
Melt (peanut butter), chocolate, butter, add Chex, finish with a heaping pile of confectioner’s sugar.
They couldn’t be easier.  Really.
In this case, I’ve swapped the peanut butter for cookie butter.
Now, these little guys are sweetly spiced, but still crunchy, sweet, and very addictive.
It’s important not to zone out around puppy chow- before you know it, the whole batch is gone! 
And then you have to make more…
Rather than going with all semi-sweet chocolate, I swapped half for milk and half for white chocolate.
The milkiness of this combination really plays off of the deep brown sugar in the cookie butter.
They’re divine and so simple to make!
More good news?  I have an even easier cookie butter recipe coming stat.
Two more recipes, and I think my speculoos reserve will be all used up!


Biscoff Muddy Buddies
adapted from Chex
ingredients:
9 cups Rice Chex or other Chex cereal
2 ounces (1/4 cup, 4 tablespoons) butter
1/2 cup biscoff spread (make your own!)
2 milk chocolate bars, coarsely chopped, or about 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
enough white chocolate chips to make 1 cup of chocolate when combined with the roughly chopped milk chocolate (chop the milk chocolate and add it to a 1 cup measure, then fill to the top with white chocolate chips) (approximately 1/2 cup)
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
directions:
Brown the butter in a heavy bottomed saucepan.
Add in the speculoos spread and the chocolate and stir to melt and combine.
Pour mixture over the cereal and stir very well until every piece is coated- this will take a little while, maybe 3 or 4 minutes, gently folding with a spatula, as the mixture is very thick.
Place 1/2 cup of powdered sugar in the bottom of a gallon ziplock bag.
Add in 1/2 of the coated cereal, then add another 1/2 cup powdered sugar over the cereal.  
Add the rest of the cereal, and put the last 1/2 cup powdered sugar over that.
Zip the bag and gently toss around so that all of the cereal is coated with powdered sugar.

by Rachel Sally

Pitter Pater

Happy Father’s Day!
Especially to my wonderful father, who is currently in London. 
(I know.  He missed out on father’s day.  I shouldn’t be baking him anything!!)
Shout out to you, Pops!
Father’s day seems to be about doing classic flavors in a new way… 
Last year was an Elvis cake, based on the famous friend banana and peanut butter sandwiches that the King loved.
This year, I made knockoff Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies.  You know, the ones you remember from your childhood.  Soft, squidgy, filled with marshmallow and only slightly spicy.
My dad loves soft, chewy oatmeal cookies, and I know he likes OCPs.
When I found Stella of BraveTart’s recipe, I knew I had to make them.
The cookies aren’t exactly intuitive in the making, but once you bite into one, you know exactly what they’re supposed to be.  They taste amazingly similar to the store-bought, factory-processed cookies, but fresher and better, and slightly more complex as well.
I had to ship these internationally to my dad, and I’m just hoping that they get to him on time, before he leaves to come back to America.
If they don’t, it’s his loss, right?  That’s what you get for ditching your kid on Father’s Day.
Just kidding.  I love you, Daddy, and miss you even more.  
I hope you like the cookies.
Head here for the full Oatmeal Creme Pie recipe: these are dead ringers for the real deal OCPs.
The ingredients list is a little strange and involved, but it’s totally worth it.
Also, be sure to take your cookies out after exactly 8 minutes: they should be completely puffy and really soft- practically not baked at all, just warmed.  Once you take them out of the oven, they will fall and become very chewy and soft, just the way they should be.
by Rachel Sally

Raisin in the Sun

Or does it explode?
It’s hot, hot, hot.
Summer is coming.
The other day, it was about 90 degrees here in Ithaca, which translates to approximately 110 degrees on the inside of a certain little red Volvo.
Obviously, I raced home and did the one thing any sane person would do in the heat:
I turned on my oven.
My pup has never faired well in the heat, but as she ages, it becomes even more difficult for her.
Her lethargy is taken to a whole new level.
The other day, I took her on a walk (it was cool, but the sun was very strong), and, right in the middle of it, she sat down.
And refused to move.
She is no lightweight, either.  When a 95-100 lb chocolate lab makes up her mind to sit, your walking plans better change, pronto.
What ensued must have looked hilarious to passerby, but was most certainly not amusing for me.
We had stopped at the bottom of a shallow hill.
When Ginger decided she could take no more and wanted to go back, I realized her mortal mistake, but it would take her a few more minutes to come to the same realization.
We had to turn around and go UP the hill.  In the sun.  
Actually, she didn’t go up the hill.  She sat.
I pulled.  I pushed.  I wanted to carry her, but that would have been a feat perhaps to great for me.
I was sweating.
She was panting.
I was mad.
She sat.
When we got home, the poor old dear was panting so heavily, she sounded the way I do when I’m having a panic attack.
She slumped down on the cool stone floor of our porch.
I set a bowl of ice water near her and strategically placed a fan aimed at her belly.  
So lazy was she that she could not even get up to drink the water.
I had to push it closer so that she could half drink it by flopping over on her side.  
I mean, really?
Alright, ready for me to bring this back around to rugelach?
Ready?
We got Ginger when I was 7- my mom likes to say that we were puppies together.  
At that point in my life, I was still a good little devout Catholic and my family attended church every Sunday, without fail.
Um… Best part about church?  You always got doughnuts or cookies afterwards at the faith group that met on Sundays.
Ithaca Bakery, here in town, makes killer rugelach.
Rugelach that we often indulged in on Sundays.
(I know, Jewish cookies for Catholics.  Cookie love unites all!!)
Ithaca Bakery makes their rugelach in scrolls, like those shown, rather than the more traditional crescent shape.
When I first saw the rugelach in Dorie Greenspan’s book, I was very confused.
Those were not rugelach.
I did not trust these strange moon shaped cookies.
Surely they were not those that I knew and loved.
Turns out, they are.  Egads!
 
 
I find that the scroll shape holds the innards in far better than do the crescents, and it’s the shape I like, so I stuck with it.  
Feel free to shape the cookies into crescents if you so desire.
I slicked my dough with a thin layer of apricot jam, then a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar, and finally, a thin topping of walnuts and raisins.
You could do raspberry jam, or orange marmalade- or anything- run with it!
Same goes for the nuts.  Use whatever floats your boat.
I’m also thinking of some rugelach with sour cherries or golden raisins.  Yum.
The key to your filling not spilling out and burning the bottoms of your cookies to kingdom come is to be frugal with it.  Trust me.
 
With rugelach, it’s all about the shatteringly flaky pastry.  This pastry is seriously flaky, people.  Like, crumbs everywhere-unless-you-eat-it-in-one-go type flaky.
If that doesn’t convince you to make these, then I don’t know what will.
 
Anyways, me and Ginge enjoyed a few of these cookies together, just like the good old days.
She approves.  

Rugelach
for the dough:
from Dorie Greenspan
ingredients:
4 ounces cream cheese, cut into 1/2 ounce pieces
8 tablespoons butter, cut into tablespoon-sized pieces
1 cup all purpose flour
3/8 teaspoon kosher salt (she calls for 1/4 teaspoon of regular salt; I always prefer to use kosher or sea salt and I generally use pinches rather than measurements; here, a good, hearty 2 pinches will do.)
directions:
Place flour and salt in the bowl of a food processor and pulse to combine.  Sprinkle the chunks of cream cheese and butter over the top of the flour and pulse until a rough dough forms.  
Gently form dough into a ball and wrap in plastic wrap.  
Flatten slightly and refrigerate. 
to assemble:
ingredients:
apricot or raspberry jam
3/4 cup sugar mixed with 2 teaspoons cinnamon
2 handfuls of raisins
chopped walnuts
1 egg mixed very well with 1 half egg-shell full of water
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Roll out your dough into a rectangle that is 1/8-1/4 inch thick.
Spread a thin, thin, thin layer of jam all over the dough.
Sparsely sprinkle a thin layer of cinnamon sugar all over the dough, then press a handful of raisins and walnuts over the sugar.  
Do not fill your dough too full with the fillings, because they will leak out and burn in the oven.
Roll up your dough rectangle tightly (roll starting with the long end of the rectangle, NOT the short, unless you want gigantic rugelach).
Cut into 1-inch wide pieces, and place 1 inch apart on a baking sheet.
Brush lightly with egg wash, and sprinkle more cinnamon sugar on top.
Bake for 10-12 minutes, until puffed, golden, and crispy.

by Rachel Sally

Time is Deceiving

 
Because sometimes, even when celebrating is the last thing in the world that you want to do, you still need cake.
 
 
Happy birthday to my big brother, Tom.
 
I love you.
 
Chris, you are in our hearts and on our minds and we will continue to search.
We will not give up.
We love you.
 
Readers, I write this through my tears.  
I will not be posting for the next few days.
 
For those of you in the Ithaca area:  please come out and help us search for Chris.  
We just want need to bring him home.
Search party organization and information can be found here and here.
{Cake and frosting from Sky High.  Find the full recipe here.}
by Rachel Sally

Love’s Light Wings

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
by any name would smell as sweet…”
Romeo and Juliet, Act II Scene II
 
Yesterday, I ran a marathon.  
 
Which is my excuse for not having a WISE blog post in more than a week.
It’s also my excuse for being late to all my classes today.
Stairs are just a wee bit difficult today.
 
Here’s a Super Sad True Love Story super short true summary of the super long (26.2 mile) race:
(I break long runs into chunks… I like to pretend that it makes it less mentally exhausting.  
It doesn’t.  But hey.)
 
Miles 1-8 are terrifying.  In the beginning, I’m stiff and aching and tired, which makes me very nervous for what’s ahead, seeing as I’m huffing and puffing and I’ve only run 2 miles.  
Luckily, by mile 6, I’m locked and loaded on cruise control.
At which point, I look at my Garmin and realize, 
I have 20 miles to go.  Jésus Marià.
 
Miles 8-13 are spent surreptitiously looking at my fellow runners’ shoes, to see which of them have the bright orange D tags which were only given to marathon runners to record times.  I have the sinking realization that there aren’t many runners around me with tags.
 
Miles 13-20 are my fastest.  I spend time listening to “I Don’t Care” by Iconapop.  As in, on repeat for about 50 minutes.  No shame.
I pick out runners to pass and do so by powering through all of the water stations- I keep the word “slingshot” in my head and will myself not to stop or slow down, and in doing so, spill about 4 brimming cupfuls of bright orange Gatorade down my white shirt.  Good looks.
 
Miles 20-25 are grueling.  The stations ran out of power gels around mile 18, and my own supply has also been completely diminished.  My glycogen is running on red and I am not a happy camper.
I keep thinking why the hell Pheidippides didn’t take a damn horse.
Seriously, what in god’s name was wrong with him?  
 
25-26.2 are like running another 12 miles.  Where was the finish line again?
Why do I still see people running?  
Are we done yet?
My intended mile split was a 10:25.  I ended up finishing 23 seconds ahead of that, with a 10:02 average mile split.  I’m not the fastest, that’s fo’ sho.  Honestly I’m just glad to have crossed the finish line!!!
 
(Turns out, I finished first in my division, female 15-19 year olds.  That was a surprise!)
Back to our regularly scheduled program: WISE jabber.
 
In class today, I had a revelation: in truth, I’ve been doing plenty of “research,” which is basically just utilizing different sources. 
What I haven’t been doing is keeping a proper log of said resources- different blogs and cookbooks etc.- which means that I have some serious back work to do.  Ahem.
Also, I received my time slot for my presentation!
June 10th from 3-4 PM.  More details later.
 
I chose the name of this post, and the intro, because a) it’s one of Shakespeare’s most classic, and one of my favorite, scenes and b) because the dessert I’m showing to you is a misnomer and should have a different name.
Right? Right.
 
This dessert is based on a deconstruction of the famous German chocolate cake.
Which, in truth, is not the slightest bit German.
It’s based off of a recipe that appeared in 1957 in a newspaper’s recipe of the day column, which used a type of chocolate that had been developed more than a century earlier, in 1852, by Sam German, a worker in the Baker’s chocolate factory; it was a sweeter dark baking chocolate, which was marketed as Baker’s German Sweet Chocolate.
Thus was the German chocolate cake born, a coconut and pecan and chocolate melange that is not the most attractive, but one of the more delicious.
German cake≠German.  Confusing, I know.
(This information is from The Baker Chocolate Company: A Sweet History by Anthony M. Sammarco, googlebook accessed via Wikipedia.)
 
This dessert has the added benefit of being completely vegan.  
 
I’m thinking of using a version of this for my presentation, because it would be incredibly easy to make gluten-free, thus making it almost entirely allergy-free (it does have coconut and pecan… those are kind of unavoidable) and a good dessert to share with many people who may have various allergies.
I plated it two ways because I couldn’t get a quenelle to smooth out the first go-round and I ended up disliking the chocolate flecks on the first few plates.
 
(P.S. remember how I was so pumped about my quenelles a few WISE posts back?  
Yeah, those darned footballs are coming back to bite me in the butt.  It took me a good 5 minutes to get the quenelle you see perfectly smooth.  My family keeps recycling the containers I use for my ice cream, so that’s not helping…)
 
*Note to my father:  Can you please, please, please stop recycling the date containers that I diligently wash out and save?  You’re making my quenelles ten times more difficult than they need to be.  Thank you.  Loveyameanit.*
German
chocolate cake
salted caramel
bittersweet ganache
candied pecans
coconut ice cream
Mile 12.5.  Eating a gu and feeling güd.
 Mile 20.  The longest uphill slog of the course; it was gradual, but felt never ending. 
 
Mile 25; back on the streets.
Don’t let the smile fool you; I could barely remain standing long enough to rip off my water belt and iPod in order to take this photo.
 
“German”
 
for the cake:
ingredients:
1/2 cup flour
1/3 cup sugar
4 teaspoons extra dark cocoa powder
rounded 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons coconut oil, measured then melted
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup water
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Spray a six inch cake pan with baking spray.
Stir the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, and salt together.
Add the coconut oil and vinegar, then the water, and stir it all together, gently.
Once it is just barely homogeneous, pour into the pan.
Bake for 20-25 minutes until the cake is springy to the touch and a tester comes out clean.
 
for the ganache:
ingredients:
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped finely
2 ounces sugar
2 ounces coconut milk, light or full-fat
1 tablespoon coconut oil
pinch kosher salt
directions:
Place the chocolate, oil, and salt in a bowl.
Heat the milk and sugar up together until boiling, then pour over the chocolate.
Allow to sit for 3 minutes, then stir together.
Blend with an immersion blender to emulsify.
 
for the caramel:
ingredients:
1/4 cup sugar
6 tablespoons coconut milk, light or full-fat
1 tablespoon coconut oil
liberal pinch kosher salt
directions:
Heat the sugar up in a heavy saucepan with tall sides until deep amber, about 7 minutes.
Once the sugar reaches the proper color, remove from heat and add the milk and oil.  
Mixture will bubble and sizzle violently.
Whisk until smooth, then add in the salt.  
If caramel gets a skin before use, just gently heat and stir to return it to proper consistency.
 
for the candied pecans:
ingredients:
1 tablespoon coconut oil
1/2 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup loosely packed brown sugar
pinch kosher salt
1/4 cup (you could go up to almost 1/2 cup with this amount of glaze; you’ll have extra if you use 1/4 cup) pecan halves
directions:
Toast the pecans lightly in a skillet, about 2 minutes.
In another saucepan, heat the oil, vinegar, sugar, and salt until bubbling.
Remove from heat and stir in pecans.
Pour mixture onto a sheet pan lined with silpat.
Allow to cool until glaze sets.
 
for the ice cream:
ingredients:
1 can (14 ounces) light coconut milk
1 tablespoon coconut oil
pinch salt
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon cornstarch
directions:
Bring everything to a boil, whisking constantly.
Transfer to a blender canister and allow to sit for 4 minutes to cool.
Blend, being careful to vent the blender and cover with a towel to protect yourself from hot splashes, until frothy and homogeneous.
Allow to cool to room temperature, then freeze in your ice cream machine.
Store in freezer until use.
 
to assemble:
toasted coconut
directions:
Plate the caramel sauce and the ganache first; either smear them both across the plate or use a fork’s tines to splatter the chocolate onto the plate.
Arrange cake crumbles on one end of the smears; follow with candied pecans.
Carefully place coconut where desired.
Finish with a scoop or quenelle of coconut ice cream.
by Rachel Sally

Ex Uno Plures

Out of one, many.
 
I’ve posted about butter cookies a few times now, but somehow I have managed to not share my personal recipe.
Upon request (sorry that it took so long!) I made some cookies to share with y’all.
Here’s the thing: this dough is so forgiving, so easy to work with and to remember, that it’s a real shame it’s taken me so long to post about.
 
It’s incredibly versatile and can be shaped into many different cookies 
(though one must be aware of baking times… My little meltaways that you see here were over baked and accordingly crunchy, which is not the most unpleasant thing in the world, but certainly not what I was going for… sigh.)
All of the ingredients are probably in your pantry, and if you have an oven and some sort of mixer and can count to 3 forwards and back, you can make some lovely cookies for yourself.
 
This recipe is my go-to when I’m making decorated cookies; it’s a great roll-out dough, but it can also be shaped into thumbprints or really whatever you’d like.
 
Flour, butter, sugar, egg, sea salt, vanilla.
3 cups, 2 sticks, 1 cup, 1 egg, 2 teaspoons, 3 splashes.
3-2-1-1-2-3
!!!
The cookies with the bicycles are just roll-out cookies with a stamped marshmallow fondant round affixed to them with royal icing.  (If you’d like to try these, I really recommend working with store bought fondant first, just to get the feel and texture of it right.  It can be a bit hard to work with, and making your own only adds to the difficulty.)
 
The streusel-topped cookies were inspired by Dorie Greenspan’s “jammers,” cookies of which I had only heard word and for which I had not seen a recipe.  
I improvised, and was rewarded with lovely little cookies-dressed-in-tarts’-clothing.  
(By improvise, I mean I made small depressions in the center of each cookie, filled them with jam, and topped them with this brown butter crumb.)
 
The meltaways are simply small balls of dough tossed in powdered sugar before and after baking.
 
The little stars sandwich a firm bittersweet chocolate ganache (3 parts bittersweet chocolate to 2 parts cream, with a pinch of salt, microwaved until 2/3 of the way melted, then stirred together until shiny and smooth.)
 
The thumbprints house a dollop of slow-cooked, sweet and salty confiture de lait: dulce de leche’s sultry French cousin.
I’m in love with these little green bicycles. They’re so… springy!
They make me so happy. 
 La la la loveee!
1-2-3 Cookies
ingredients:
3 cups of flour
2 sticks of butter
1 cup of sugar
1 egg
2 teaspoons kosher or other coarse salt
3 splashes vanilla extract
directions:
Beat butter and sugar together until softened and pale yellow.  
Add in the egg and beat until super fluffy and shiny and not gritty, about 3 minutes.
Add in the salt and vanilla extract and beat for 20 seconds.
Add in all the flour and stir slowly, mixing until a homogeneous dough forms.  
It should not be overly sticky, nor should it be very crumbly.
You can now form it into small balls to make into thumbprints or meltaways, or roll it out to 1/4 inch thickness and cut it into shapes.
Refrigerate or, even better, freeze, for at least 30 minutes while you preheat your oven to 350 degrees F.
Bake cookies for 8-10 minutes, until golden and easily lifted from the sheet. Bake the thumbprints and meltaways for only 7 minutes. Better that they’re a little soft than super crunchy. Wah.
Decorate and/or fill as desired! (See above for some suggestions)
by Rachel Sally

Handle With Care

Here I was, thinking it was almost spring. 
I got bold, even walking my dog without a coat, exclaiming to passerby, “feels like spring!”
I thought greedy thoughts, about fresh strawberries and rhubarb, about green grass and flowers.
It’s been snowing intermittently for the past three days.
It’s cold and grey, once again.
And to be honest, not a one of my town’s inhabitants is surprised.
This weather is all too typical.
Our spring is fragile, tender.
Tonight, we may even have an ice storm.  I look outside right now and see flakes pouring down , whirling in strong gusts of wind.
But what is there to do but to enjoy the brief spans while we can? 
 Snow comes, melts, flowers spring forth, life begins again. 
 I’m patiently waiting.
In like a lion, out like a lamb.
These cookies are as fragile as Ithaca’s first sign of spring.
They’re crispy on the outside, and filled with a gloriously honey-laden curd.
They’re a relatively healthy little treat, one that is so light that it melts on the tongue.
 
I’ll enjoy these little snow caps for now, as I wait for those outside my window to melt.
Honey-Ginger Grapefruit Curd
adapted from 101 Cookbooks
ingredients:
1/2 cup freshly squeezed grapefruit juice
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons honey
1 egg yolk
1 egg
big pinch sea salt
juice of 1/2 a lemon
juice from a 1/2 inch piece of ginger, grated and pressed through a strainer
directions:
Reduce the grapefruit juice by half in a small saucepan; bring to a simmer and allow to reduce.  Juice will still be thin- don’t worry.  Allow to cool for 2 minutes.
In another saucepan, whisk the eggs, butter, salt, and honey together.  
Slowly drizzle in grapefruit juice while constantly whisking, until all is incorporated.  
Stir in lemon and ginger juice.
Heat over low heat, whisking all the while, until curd has thickened (enough that when you drag a spatula across the bottom of the pan, the track stays clear for at least 3 seconds), butter has melted and incorporated, and the whole shebang looks very shiny and thick.
Remove from heat and press through a strainer. Discard any bits.
Chill until thickened. 
Enjoy spread between cookies, in yogurt, or by the spoonful!
 
Simplest Meringue Cookies:
ingredients:
2 egg whites
1/2 cup sugar, pulsed in food processor for 30 seconds to make superfine sugar, or 1/2 cup superfine sugar
1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
directions:
Preheat oven to 200 degrees F.
Line two baking sheets with parchment.
Combine your egg whites and cream of tartar in a very clean bowl and begin to whip.  
Once they are foamy, slowly add about a tablespoon of sugar.  
Continue to add in the sugar very gradually until all the sugar is gone and the meringue has reached stiff peaks.
Place the meringue in a piping bag fitted with a star tip and pipe small stars, or use two teaspoons to portion out little mounds.  
Bake for 1 1/2 to 1 3/4 hours, rotating regularly to prevent overcooking in any one place.
Turn off the oven.
Once done, the meringues should still be white and should easily release from the parchment paper. 
Allow to cool in the oven; prop the door open with a wooden spoon.  
Allow to fully cool, then sandwich some curd between two and enjoy!
by Rachel Sally

Knockoff

Not all knockoffs are like that fake Juicy Couture bag I bought at the Silk Market in Beijing.
 
The one which turned out, once inspected in a brighter lighting and clearer mindset, to be a brown-and-pink diaper bag with a malfunctioning zipper.
Take these cookies, for example.  They’re a take on those lovely, pillowy “Lofthouse” style sugar cookies that you can buy in every single supermarket in America.
You know the ones… They come in packages of six or ten or so, generally with pink or blue Crisco-based “butter”cream icing adorned with heaps of sprinkles, which, during appropriate holiday rushes, change into seasonally themed icing and sprinkles.
 
They’re so bad…. But so very, very soft.  And hard to resist.
 
Editor’s note:
[While perusing their website, which took an inordinately long time to load, discovered that they now come in red velvet [?!] and frosted with nerds [?!!].  Suspicious whether this is good idea or very, very bad one.  Must say, nerds are great.  
Therefore still on fence about nerd-frosted sugar cookies.
 
Also noted: holidays featured are Easter, Halloween, 4th of July, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, and Thanksgiving.
Wonderful!!! All imaginable holiday cookie needs covered! 
 
Perusing further, discovered watermelon and sugar plum flavored sugar cookies (and, of course, ubiquitous and gratuitous pumpkin).
 
Must ask what a sugar cookie designed to mimic sugar plum even tastes like?
Best guess: saccharine.
 
Watermelon?  Can only think of sticking Hubba Bubba into a cookie and dyeing the whole thing bright green.  Mmmmm refreshing.
 
Nearly done with snottiness.  
Blue-, pink-, yellow- and white-frosted cookies considered disparate flavors/groups?!
Found one difference: which number dye goes in at end of mixing time.
 
Last and most important point: how does “purple-boo” icing taste?  And why not kosher?]
Oh, and actually…  Props to Lofthouse for trying to be more eco-friendly.  It’s hard for me to love the cookies anymore, but I sure as heck appreciate that.
 
Here.  Now that you’ve endured an entire post of whining and carrying on, why don’t you enjoy a big, fat, soft cookie with a sweet, buttery swirl of icing on top?
These cookies are wonderful.  So soft and fluffy, perfectly offset by a mound of buttercream.  I also made free-form rose flavored sprinkles/shards to top the whole thing off.
Subtle, and not overly perfume-y.  Just what I was going for.  
I don’t want people thinking I poured a bottle of my nicest Chanel into my cookies.  Feel me?

I loved this recipe… Easy and produced great results.  I highly recommend it!



Faux Lofthouse Sugar Cookies
ingredients:
6 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 ounces( 16 tablespoons) butter, softened
2 cups granulated sugar
3 eggs
1 teaspoon (I added much more… I like vanilla) vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups sour cream
directions:
Stir together the flour, baking powder, soda, and salt.  
In the bowl of a mixer, cream the butter and sugar together.  Scrape the sides.
Beat in the eggs, one at a time.  Scrape the sides.
Beat in the vanilla and sour cream just until combined.
Mix in the dry ingredients just until the dough comes together and is fully mixed.
Divide into 2 disks and refrigerate for at least two hours.
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.  Line sheet pans with parchment or silpats.
Lightly dust a clean surface with flour, and turn one of the refrigerated disks out. 
Roll out to a thickness of 1/4 inch, then cut out desired shapes.
Bake for 7 minutes, then let cool on wire racks.
Gather scraps, refrigerate for a little (10 minutes) if they are becoming warm and elastic, then re-roll.
Repeat with other dough.
 
American Buttercream Frosting
ingredients:
1 stick butter
1 cup plus 1 tablespoon confectioner’s sugar, sifted
big pinch of salt
splash of vanilla extract
1 tablespoon of cream, as needed
directions:
Beat the butter until smooth and fluffy.  
Sift in the sugar, add the salt and vanilla extract, and beat on low speed until incorporated.
Beat on high speed for about 20 seconds, until everything is homogeneous.  If the frosting is thick, add some cream or milk in small increments until it is spreadable.
Spread a thick layer onto each cookie, leaving a slight mound in the center of the cookie.  Spin the cookie while lightly pressing down in the center to create a small well for your sprinkles!
 
Rose Shards:
Use this recipe (brilliant!), but add in a drop of rosewater and spread it very thinly and evenly over a sheet of parchment instead of piping lines out.  Let dry completely, then break apart into little shattered pieces.  Use it to garnish the frosted cookies.