Category: crazy

by Rachel Sally

Googolplexian

 
A googolplexian is 
 
1010100 .
 
For a rough estimate, just count the number of layers in this cake. 
I mean, really.
I’m an exaggerator.  It’s true.  Always have been, always will be.
 
Now, my family calls it being a drama queen, diva, prima donna, etc.
 
They’re exaggerating.
Just who do you think I got it from?!
 
But seriously, guys.  
When I make crêpes, I feel like I’ve made a hundred thousand million and I look at the stack and there’s like six sitting there, plus the one in my mouth.
Talk about disheartening.
 
I’ve tried to make crêpe cakes before.
 
I must will myself not to eat them fresh and hot from the pan and I must will myself to stay at the stove making stupid pancake after pancake until I can take no more.
(And/or have had my fill of fresh, hot crêpes.)
 
Then, after hours and hours of tending to a flaming hot stove, I, ever stoical and composed goddess of patience, must wait for them to cool.
HA!  Fooled you, didn’t I?
Like heck I’m waiting for crêpes to cool… I’ve got things to do and places to see.
 
Ain’t nobody got time for dat.
 
I slap those suckers together with some filling, then stand back to admire what I expect to be a lovely little French pastry.
I’m never happy with what I behold.
 
It’s like getting a hairless cat instead of that damn poodle I was promised at the beginning of this whole ordeal.
 
They never stand above two inches tall, and they’re always droopy instead of ruffly and prim.  They’re not flavorful enough.
They’re boring AND ugly.  
A real winning combination…
 
So why are you staring at a haphazard, not very ruffly, somewhat off-kilter crêpe cake right now?
Because I couldn’t stop thinking about layered crêpes.
Because I couldn’t get the flavor combination of banana and vanilla and apricot out of my head.
Because I wanted cake for breakfast, brunch, lunch, and linner that day.
Because I wanted said cake to be a semblance of something healthy.  Ya know.
This cake is whole-wheat, has very, very little sugar in it, less than a teaspoon of butter, and is chock full of protein and healthy fats, thanks to the greek yogurt, ricotta, hazelnuts, and coconut oil; most of the sweetness comes from the bananas, vanilla seeds, and tart California apricots.

This cake is thus approved for every meal of the day. 
 It’s not the shiniest spoon in the drawer, to be sure, but it tastes good.  It tastes real good.
 
(I can’t describe how much the asymmetry of that one darned hazelnut bothers me. 
Whyyyyy didn’t I fix it while the cake was still in existence?  
It will haunt me for the rest of my life.)


Banana Apricot Crêpe Cake
for the banana crêpes:
adapted from Smitten Kitchen
ingredients:
4 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
1 6 ounce banana, peeled
1 cup almond milk
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons white whole wheat flour
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons all purpose flour
4 eggs
2 tablespoons natural sugar
splash vanilla
big pinch sea salt
pinch each cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg
directions:
Whir all ingredients together in a food processor.  
Let batter rest for at least 20 minutes.
To make the crêpes, heat a 6 inch skillet up on medium high heat.
Brush with coconut oil- you should only have a thin film.
Pour about 2 tablespoons of batter into the pan and immediately swirl to coat the bottom of the pan.
Cook for 1 to 2 minutes until the top is cooked and the bottom is golden brown.  
To flip, use a spatula to pick up the edge, then gently use your fingers to pick up and flip the crêpe.  (Don’t be a baby.  It’s not that hot.)
Continue until all batter is used up.

for the Greek yogurt and ricotta filling:
ingredients:
1/3 -1/2 cup Greek yogurt, depending on how loose you want your filling and/or how thick you want the filling layers to be.  I used closer to 1/2 a cup.
1/3 cup part skim ricotta
1/3 cup powdered sugar
splash vanilla
pinch salt
directions:
Whisk all ingredients together.  Set aside and let thicken slightly.

for the apricot-vanilla compote:
ingredients:
15 dried California apricots
1 vanilla bean or 2-3 already used pods (I fished some used ones out of my sugar)
boiling water
directions:
Roughly chop the apricots.  
Place in a heat safe bowl with the vanilla pod (cut the pod up into 2 1/2 inch chunks if it is whole).  
Pour boiling water over to cover completely.  
Allow to sit for 15 minutes, until the apricots are softened and there are vanilla seeds floating in the water.
Drain most of the water, reserving 2-3 tablespoons.  
Scrape the insides of the vanilla beans out and place in a food processor along with the reserved water and the apricots.  
Pulse until a slightly chunky paste forms.  Set aside.

for the caramel sauce:
adapted from the NYT
ingredients:
1/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon water
2 tablespoons light cream
1/2 tablespoons butter
big pinch of sea salt (around 3/4 teaspoon)
directions:
Add the sugar and water to a heavy bottomed saucepan and cook on medium heat until light amber, 5-7 minutes.  
Remove from heat and immediately stir in cream.  
Mixture will bubble and steam, so beware.  
Whisk in butter and salt; use before completely cooled.  
To loosen it up again before use, microwave it for a few seconds until it is liquid.

to assemble:
Cut up a large banana into thin slices.  
Begin layering the crepes, spreading each with yogurt filling, then either banana slices or apricot filling.  
Alternate the banana and apricot.  
Once your last crêpe is on the cake, pour the caramel over top.  
If desired, you can stack some toasted hazelnuts on top before pouring the caramel.  
Allow the caramel to set slightly, then serve.

by Rachel Sally

Yes, Chef

I’m still in shock, guys.  

I managed to weasel my way into getting an interview with Christina Tosi.

 

 

Every time I say that, I do a double take.  She has long been a source of inspiration and recipes for me.  Her book, Milk Bar, is a wealth of ideas, and chock full of helpful hints (hello, 10 minute creaming?  Best.  Cookies.  Ever.).  

The pages of my cookbook are dusted with flour and occasionally stuck together with butter and bits of caramel.  (Savin’ dat for later.)
 
Confession time: I read Milk Bar.  Read as in, sit down with a cookie and read each and every recipe blurb and recipe.  I don’t know how many times I’ve done this.  It’s at least fifty.  I still laugh at all of the jokes and funny memories written between those pages.
Thus far, I’ve only found one teeny-tiny typo.  (This coming from someone who scours the Sunday NYT for typos and who usually finds one on the front page of the Style section…)  Color me impressed.Sigh.  I’m star struck.  
The not-so-photogenic pie you see in the photos was the famed crack pie.  What a fabulous recipe!  My god, it’s like buttery gold.  Worth every single calorie.
Without further ado, here’s the interview.

(I’m not including the recipe for crack pie as I want to encourage those who have any mild interest to purchase the book… Honestly, it’s one of the more useful and inventive cookbooks I own, and while it is no encyclopedia of baking, it still manages to pack in plenty of information and sugar.  You can find the recipes online, I’m sure, but I for one am a proponent of cookbooks.)

Chef Christina Tosi is the pastry chef of the Momofuku line of restaurants, which are owned and run by Chef David Chang; she herself runs the Momofuku Milk Barline of restaurants.  Her cooking style is self-described as “loud, delicious, textural, and fun.”  She is a genius when it comes to flavor pairings; she invents combinations like thai tea, lemon, and marscapone, or celery root and white chocolate, which are surprising and arresting in a most delicious sense.  In 2012, the James Beard Foundation named her Rising Chef of the Year; she was the only pastry chef in the category!

Rachel Sally: I think of you as America’s favorite pastry-chef-next-door, and as such, you have a huge influence on food trends; who or what do you view as your biggest influences?
Chef Christina: I think working in a broad range of bakeries, restaurants and food settings and situations really shaped me as a whole. I approached every job, even the ones I worked at for free as an opportunity to learn.  Also, my grandmas, the sweet toothed ladies that recognized my love for baking and my genetic sweet tooth!
 
R.S.:  Which cookbook or book has influenced you the most?
C.T.: The Magnolia Cookbook was one of my first favorite cookbooks as a teen when I was getting into the kitchen on my own terms. They had so many versions of cheesecake in there, breaking all the rules, adding whatever flavors and textures they wanted. I thought it was the coolest cookbook, and the best way to approach a classic like the cheesecake with reckless abandon!
 
R.S.:  What one word would you use to describe yourself and your cooking style?
C.T.: Soothing with a sense of humor.
 
R.S.:  Do you work well under pressure?
C.T.: I love working under pressure. I love being in just a little over my head. It’s how I function best. If you don’t like the same, you probably won’t like working at Milk Bar, but my feeling is if you can make IT happen under pressure, the sky is the limit.
 
R.S.:  Where do you find inspiration for flavor combinations?
C.T.: Everywhere and anywhere. The grocery store, the bodega on the way home. The dinner around the corner. Magazines, airplanes, fancy restaurants, Dairy Queen, T.V. You never know when inspiration can strike!
 
R.S.:  What is the most underrated flavor combination, in your opinion?
C.T.: Salt and pepper.
 
R.S.:  What one ingredient could you not live without?
C.T.: Salt!
 
R.S.:  What is your favorite food?
C.T.: Depends on my mood. I’d say this winter it’s acorn squash with butter, cinnamon and breakfast sausage!
 
R.S.:  What is your favorite composed dessert that you’ve ever made?
C.T.: Cereal milk panna cotta with avocado puree, chocolate hazelnut, cornflake crunch. [Editor’s note: Ohmagah]
 
R.S.:  How do you respond to negative criticism in regards to a dessert?  
C.T.: I take every opinion seriously and to heart. Not in a negative way, but in a double check myself way. Is there truth in the comment, is there something wrong, could it be better, do I really stand behind this dish or dessert? Humility and the ability to curb your ego, especially when under criticism, are very important.
 
R.S.: What tweaks do you make?
C.T.: Doesn’t mean you have to change a thing. Just means you have to be open and willing to check yourself and/or stand up for yourself.
 
R.S.:  Do you edit already existing and successful desserts?  
C.T.: We always edit existing desserts.
 
R.S.: Why do you?
C.T.: [We] always look for room for improvements, updating inspiration points. Sometimes we change elements, depths of flavor. Sometimes we’ll test a ton of stuff and never change a thing.
 
R.S.:  What is your best tip for dessert success?
C.T.: Stay true to yourself, your taste buds, your inspiration, your approach. But be open minded about feedback and criticism.
Still in disbelief.  Thank you, Chef!
by Rachel Sally

Magic Dragon


There is indeed something magical about puff pastry’s exponential rise and versatility, but it’s no mystery.

 
As thin, thin sheets of butter (which is approximately 82% fat, protein, and other solids and therefore around 18% water), which are trapped between flour particles, are heated in a hot oven, the water evaporates quickly, causing the steam to lift the flour and create lovely, flaky layers.  

 

Puff pastry can be a beast to handle; much depends on the temperature of your butter and dough.
 
It is certainly a surmountable challenge; however, for less-experienced bakers, it can be extremely frustrating and time consuming.
Traditional puff pastry is made with a yeasted dough, which is laminated with a butter block.  
It takes a long time, and it can be hard to get just right.
 
Which is precisely why I decided to do this picture series/tutorial about blitz puff pastry.  
This recipe and technique is invaluable.  Definitely tuck it away in your brain for future uses.
It’s faster, easier, and, at least in my own experience, more idiot-proof reliable.
 

Flaky pastry enhances any dessert (Like… Duh?).

Turnovers?  Killer with this dough.  I made orange-chocolate ricotta turnovers which were a hit.
Vol-au-vent?  This dough is faster than traditional puff, and rises essentially as high.
Brie en croute?  Hello, the faster this gets into my mouth, the better.  Blitz pastry it is.
Anything en papillote?  Heck, why not?

 

Croissants?  Bear claws?  Elephant ears or palmiers?  Pain au chocolat? But of course… Recipes below.
The scraps never go to waste, either.  Just like with pie dough, if they are sprinkled with some cinnamon sugar and baked off, they become lovely little nuggets of sparkly, spicy gold.
The time you’ll save is worth the 1/8 inch loss of height that traditional puff gives you.

Still with me?  Salivating yet?

Let’s get started!


For the basic dough,

you’ll need to assemble:
16 ounces of cold unsalted butter
10 ounces of flour
10 ounces of ice cold water
1 tablespoon of sugar
1 teaspoon of sea salt

The tools you’ll need are:
a large, clean surface, like a well-scrubbed counter
a large bowl
a rolling pin
a bench scraper (not 100% necessary, but crazy helpful)
 Christmas-themed cling wrap (100% necessary)

 

Whisk your flour, salt, and sugar together in the large bowl with a fork.  
Break up any clumps.  
Dump all your cold butter onto the flour.  Toss to coat.

 

 

With clean hands, roughly flatten all of the cubes of butter.  
They do not have to be perfect sheets; that will happen in the next step.  They should just be roughly flat.

 

This is what your dough should look like thus far.  It’s not much of a dough, yet.  Just a bunch of flour-coated, flattened butter cubes.  (Yum…?)
Next up is the fraisage.  
Dump the contents of your bowl out onto your clean surface.  
Using the heel of your hand, gather the dough, then push forward and down firmly, so that your butter is smeared along the flour and other bits and bobs on the counter.  (Just kidding.  Because your counter is super clean, right?  Right?! Right!)
Continue to do so until virtually all of the butter has been sheeted even further and thinner than before.  
Your dough should not yet be cohesive, but rather shaggy and ugly.
 

This is what your dough should now look like.  
Make a well in the center and pour in some water.  
Knead lightly with your hands, using a bench scraper to help fold the dough over itself.  
Continue to add water until your dough just barely comes together in a shaggy mess.  
Do not add so much that it becomes slimy, but add enough that it is no longer crumbly.  
This is a variable amount; you may need slightly more or less than 10 ounces of water.  That’s okay.  Ingredients and environments differ, and that’s what affects this measurement.

Finished adding water.  Cohesive, still shaggy, but stays together.

Next, roll out your dough to about a 3/4- 1 inch thickness, in the shape of a rough rectangle (not triangle, which is what I just wrote).  

Fold your dough in thirds, like a business letter.  
Wrap in plastic and stick in the fridge for 15 minutes.

 

After your dough has chilled out, take it out and roll it into another rectangle.  
You can see the dimensions of mine in the above picture; it should be 1/2 inch thick and the rectangle should be relatively even in size.

Next, do a double book turn.  Visually divide your rectangle in half, then divide each half into two.  You are going to fold it in quarters, but first fold the outer flaps in, to meet the center, then fold the flaps created by that fold onto each other, like a book.
Christina Tosi describes it by putting her arms out straight, folding in at the elbows, then folding the elbows together.  
After one double book turn, stick the dough in the fridge for 15-30 minutes.  

Do two more double book turns, rolling the dough out to 1/2 inch thick between each one.
After your third double book turn, your dough is ready to be used!  
You did it! Now you can make all sorts of delicacies with it!

In general, to use your puff pastry, you will need to roll it out to a tiny bit more than 1/8 inch thickness.  
When you cut it, never twist your cutters or knife- just like making biscuits.  
If you do so, the layers of flour may fuse together on one side, causing uneven rising.
Don’t re-roll scraps.  Just try to minimize them.

Blitz Puff Pastry
proportions from the godly Stella Parks, technique is my own, bastardized from many sources, including Christina Tosi
ingredients:
16 ounces cold cubed butter
10 ounces ice water
10 ounces flour
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon sea salt
directions:
  1. Whisk your flour, salt, and sugar together in the large bowl with a fork.  Break up any clumps.  Dump all your cold butter onto the flour.  Toss to coat.
  2. With clean hands, roughly flatten all of the cubes of butter.  They do not have to be perfect sheets; that will happen in the next step.  They should just be roughly flat.
  3. Dump the contents of your bowl out onto your clean surface.  Using the heel of your hand, gather the dough, then push forward and down firmly, so that your butter is smeared along the flour and other bits and bobs on the counter.
  4. Continue to do so until virtually all of the butter has been sheeted even further and thinner than before.  Your dough should not yet be cohesive.
  5. Roll out your dough to about a 3/4- 1 inch thickness, in the shape of a rough rectangle.
  6. Fold your dough in thirds, like a business letter.  
  7. Wrap in plastic and stick in the fridge for 15 minutes.
  8. After your dough has chilled out, take it out and roll it into another rectangle; it should be 1/2 inch thick and the rectangle should be relatively even in size.
  9. Next, do a double book turn.  Visually divide your rectangle in half, then divide each half into two.  You are going to fold it in quarters, but first fold the outer flaps in, to meet the center, then fold the flaps created by that fold onto each other, like a book.  Christina Tosi describes it by putting her arms out straight, folding in at the elbows, then folding the elbows together.  
  10. After one double book turn, stick the dough in the fridge for 15-30 minutes.  
  11. Do two more double book turns, rolling the dough out to 1/2 inch thick between each one.  After your third double book turn, your dough is ready to be used.
  12.  In general, to use your puff pastry, you will need to roll it out to a tiny bit more than 1/8 inch thickness, before cutting it into desired shapes.  
Notes and ideas for use:
This puff can be used just like a regular puff pastry dough.  It is versatile and adapts to any shape.  Bake it at 375 degrees F, on good insulated pans.  If your pans are flimsy, use two stacked together.  The baking times I have provided are for very miniature pastries; if you make larger ones, the baking time will go up accordingly.  Puff pastry is very easy to change baking times with, because the only test of doneness is the color of the crust.  The pastries should be tanned and deep gold when you pull them out.  If you change the size, simply check the color of your pastries often after going past the times noted here and you will not have dried out or burned products, I promise.
Palmiers: 
Cut long strips of dough, about 3/16 of an inch wide and 5 or more inches long, and brush them with a little melted butter.  Sprinkle some cinnamon sugar on top, and roll from each end to create a swirl shape.  Bake until golden and sugar is caramelized, about 8 minutes depending on the size of your cookies.  Check early and often; sugar burns quickly.  If you cut the strips 3/4 of an inch wide, and roll from just one end, you can stick them in a mini muffin tin and make mini cinnamon rolls.
Croissants:
Cut isosceles triangles, about 3.5 inches wide and 6 inches high, and cut a small, 1/4 inch slit at the base.  Roll up the triangle starting at the wide end, shaping into a crescent once the dough is all rolled up.  Brush with egg wash (1 egg plus 1 teaspoon water), bake for about 14 minutes, until tanned; timing varies a lot with puff pastry depending on the size of your pastries, but it is easy to check doneness by color, as that is the main factor.
Bear Claws:
Mix 1/3 cup almond paste with 1 egg white, a sprinkle of cinnamon, and 1/4 cup powdered sugar until smooth.  Cut strips of pastry 2 inches wide and as long as possible, and fill with a thin coating of filling.  Roll, starting from the long sides, to make long filled logs.  Pinch the edges to seal, and flatten the logs.  Cut into 4 inch long pieces, and make notches 1/3 of the way into the dough to make “claws.”  Shape into crescents, with the claws pointing out, and brush with egg wash.  Sprinkle cinnamon sugar on top and bake for 15 minutes, or until almond filling is crisp and tops of claws are tanned and golden.
Pain au Chocolat
Cut rectangles of dough 3 inches by 4.5 inches.  Place a few bittersweet chocolate chips on the shorter edge, and fold over once.  Where the fold has met the main part of the dough, tuck a few more bittersweet chocolate chips.  Fold over again, then place seam side down on a sheet tray.  Brush with egg wash and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar, if desired.  Bake for 15 minutes.
by Rachel Sally

Please Sir

Can I have s’more, sir?
No recipe for this cake, today.  
 
I’ve been writing up blog posts for the past 2 hours and I’m getting lazy.
(Tutorial for something time-consuming exciting coming soon… Stay tuned!)
 
I made this cake for a good friend’s 18th (eep!) birthday.
 
It consisted of three dark chocolate cake layers, sandwiching milk chocolate ganache, toasted marshmallows, and an adapted graham crust/crumb from Milk Bar.
I frosted it with a nutella buttercream, and topped it off with more of the same: a mountain of toasted marshmallows, graham crumbs, and a drizzle of ganache.
 
A wonderfully childish cake, reminiscent of campfires, to welcome her into adult life.
Youth may not last forever, but immaturity the affinity for s’mores does!
 
I used my dad’s giant industrial blow torch to toast the lil’ marshmallows.  Poor guys didn’t stand a chance.  Flames and fire ravaged their ranks, I’m afraid to say.  
 
I hope she enjoyed it.  
I certainly enjoyed making it.
Happy 18th, S!  Love you!
by Rachel Sally

T-Minus

Soft snowflakes are floating down outside my window as I type this, landing gently on vibrant evergreens and vivid red berries.
 
 
Something is stirring in me as I take in the peaceful scene outside…
 
By Jove, I think it’s the Christmas spirit.

My stomach is still bloated has barely regained its balance from Thanksgiving, and I’ve already got the next holiday on the brain.  
Exactly one month!

I gots problems, people.
Why, just last weekend, I spent an entire day raking with my family, greedily anticipating Thanksgiving, and appreciating the beautiful fall weather.
How quickly times change, no?

I had a very beautiful, very long, very poetic post written to go along with this.  

Only problem?  I wrote it using the blogger app on my phone.  What a Big Mistake that was…  (Picture me shaking my fist at the blogging gods right now.)

I’m sorry that I’ve been away from the blog for some time.  Thanksgiving really took it out of me, as I decided to undertake the prep and cooking of the entire meal myself.  

 


The last few weeks, in terms of Thanksgiving prep, have gone something like this:

I ordered the turkey (no, I don’t eat meat, but my family does).
I went to my local butcher at an ungodly hour in the morning, to make sure I got my hands on some good local meat products: fresh bacon, fresh cranberry-sage sausages, and freshly-rendered lard.
I went grocery shopping (by meself) after a long basketball practice; I spent a ridiculous amount of money and could hardly push the cart, and I’m no weakling.  I must have purchased 200 pounds of food that day.

I went and got the turkey from the farm, a trek that ended up being far harder than me going out and hunting a damn turkey myself.  As it turns out, there are multiple “Creamery” Roads, complete with “ninety-degree turns” right near house number 200s in the nearby Slaterville Springs.  Can you guess who went to the wrong one?  What turned out to be the completely wrong one?  Yes, me.  And don’t laugh.  I had to drive 5 miles in a state forest OFF-ROAD in my Volvo to get to the wrong farm, only to discover that the house numbers went from 194 to 204.  What the…?!?  Yes, I went 45 minutes past the correct Creamery Road.  Upon this realization, I cursed, cried, and punched my steering wheel, à la Shit Girlfriends Say (go to 2:07).  I’m kidding.  But I did wheel my car around and speed back through the forest as fast as I could, suspension be damned.  

I cooked.  A lot.  The menu?

Sourdough bread, gluten-free cheese crackers, cheeses, and grapes 
Roasted squash, carrots, parsnips, turnips, beets, and sweet potatoes
Roasted lemony brussels sprouts with cranberries, roasted garlic, and maple-balsalmic glaze
Quince and brown-butter basted turkey
Smashed fingerling potatoes with scallions and bacon
(Gluten-free) Cornbread stuffing with sausage, apples, onions, and sage
Apple cider cranberry sauce
(Healthy) Pumpkin pie in an almond-date crust
Salted caramel apple thyme pie in a cheddar cheese and lard crust with maple whipped cream
Maple crème fraîche tart 
Copious amounts of Prosecco, Champagne, and wine


It was all delicious; I was very happy.  And exhausted.  Still am.

The night before Thanksgiving, we celebrated my oldest brother’s birthday.  I made him a French toast cake, which consisted of a brown sugar, brown butter cake filled with cinnamon cream cheese, frosted with a brown sugar swiss meringue buttercream, topped with a maple caramel glaze, and finished with candied bacon.  Yowza.

I’ll be around more often; I promise.  After all, I have some serious holiday baking calling my name.  
P.S. I’m thankful for you guys!  It seriously awes me that I even have readers.  Love y’all.

 
French Toast Cake
for the cake:
ingredients:
3 sticks unsalted butter, browned
2 1/4 cups flour
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/3 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
3 egg yolks (save the whites)
2 whole eggs
1/3 cup maple syrup, topped off with buttermilk to equal 1 1/4 cups
directions:
Let the butter cool until barely warm to touch.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Butter and flour a half sheet pan.  Add the sugar, salt, and vanilla to the butter and beat until combined. Add in the eggs and egg yolks and mix to combine.  Add in the maple syrup-buttermilk mixture and mix to combine.  Dump in the flour and baking powder and beat until homogeneous.  Spread into pan and bake for 30-35 minutes, until golden brown and springy to the touch.
for the bacon:
2 strips bacon
brown sugar, as needed
directions:
in a preheated oven, bake bacon, covered in brown sugar, until crispy, about 15 minutes; flip halfway through and coat with more brown sugar.
for the filling:
ingredients:
8 ounces cream cheese
big pinch cinnamon and nutmeg
big pinch salt
3 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup heavy cream, or as needed
directions:
Beat all ingredients together until fluffy.
for the frosting:
ingredients:
4 ounces egg whites
4 ounces brown sugar
big pinch salt
12.8 ounces butter, room temp
directions:
In the bowl of a stand mixer, mix egg whites, salt, and sugar together.  Heat over a pan of steaming water until the egg whites reach 145 degrees F, whisking all the while.  Remove from heat, and beat until stiff meringue forms and bowl is cool to the touch.  Slowly add in the butter, tablespoon by tablespoon, and continue to beat until the buttercream is fluffy and smooth.
for the caramel:
1/2 stick butter
1/4 cup brown sugar
big pinch salt
1/4 cup maple syrup, plus 1 tablespoon
2 tablespoons cream
directions:
Melt butter together with salt, brown sugar, and 1/4 cup maple syrup over medium heat and cook until smooth.  Remove from heat and stir in cream and last tablespoon maple syrup.  Use immediately or refrigerate and reheat and recook until smooth before use.
by Rachel Sally

Together

Cookies and milk.  PB&J.  Bagels and cream cheese.  Pancakes and maple syrup.  Sweet and salty.  Hipsters and food blogs.  (Jus keeding… kinda.)
 
These things just plain make sense together.
They’re better together than apart.  
Cookies and a good cause?  Doesn’t get any better, right?
The Great Food Blogger Cookie Swap showcases the power of togetherness perfectly.  
By partnering with Cookies for Kids’ Cancer, this event uses hipster food bloggers to help fund research for pediatric cancer.  
 
 
Not only am I super super excited for the cookie swap (Hello home delivered cookies. Yum.), but I’m also really enthusiastic about the charity itself.  
 
I want to do more of my part to help out Cookies for Kids’ Cancer, because I think it’s not only a worthy cause, but also a great and accessible idea!  
So, I’m hosting a bake sale at my school (tomorrow, Sandy permitting), all the proceeds of which are going to Cookies for Kids’ Cancer.  Any readers from the high school… Bring money!  I’m sure I’ll have something that you’ll want.
And the rest of you?  If you’re interested in helping, here’s my online giving page.
Or maybe organize your own event!  Why not?  It’s easier than you think.
 
 
 
Oh, and these Oreos?  Made with the awesome Bravetart’s recipe; she really has these down to a T.  They are Oreos reincarnate with better, fresher ingredients. 
 
P.S. Happy 70th birthday, Bob Ross! Personally, I spent my childhood watching this man and enjoying all of his happy accidents. 
by Rachel Sally

Moody Blues

When I woke up on Friday, the sky was covered with clouds heavy with rain, and a thick fog had settled low to the ground like a lush carpet.  Not the kind of morning that makes me want to jump out of my warm, cozy bed and run straight into the cold, cold rain.  
 
The past two mornings, however, have been utterly glorious.  People.  Take a moment to look around and take in the beauty that is autumn.  I mean, come on.  The hues of the trees are so brilliantly rich, it’s hard to believe they’re real.  I gather that the extra gorgeous colors are due to the strange growing season this year.  I can’t get over them.  
 
But there will be plenty more of that later on in this post.
 
Firstly, I bring dessert!  I’ve been baking a lot lately, but have been too lazy chosen not to write about most of them; “they” being a maple, walnut, and brown butter caramel cake (whew), a nutmeg maple cream tart, coconut chocolate banana bread, potato chip and dark chocolate bark… 
 
I did, however, save the best for the blog (but of course!).
 
Inspired by a classic cheese plate, I set out to make something that would reflect all the best elements of one:  crunchy crackers, slightly bitter nuts, smoky meat (if you’re into that sort of thing), tangy, salty, and rich cheese, sweet fruit, and just a whisper of honey.  
 
A few weekends ago, my family had bo ssam, a Korean lettuce wrapped, brown sugar encrusted-pork shoulder dish.  Though I (obviously) did not eat the meat, I was sure to save the rendered fat and gelatin (Why?!? Because I’m weird.)
 
And because I just knew it would come in handy sometime soon.  And it did!  Clearly I am learning to utilize some sort of frugality and foresight (neither being my… um… strong suit).
 
This tart is comprised of a brown sugar, wheat cracker, walnut, salted butter and pork fat crust, a mascarpone and blue cheese filling, figs, pears, and a drizzle of honey.
 
Blue cheese tart.
The revolution is coming, people.
Granted, I couldn’t taste all of the elements together because of the pork fat, but I know it was good.  I think everyone who has tasted it has had two pieces.   
 
Victory is mine.

 

And because I can’t resist… Here are some autumnal pictures I’ve taken.

Blue Cheese Tart
ingredients:
1 cracker crust, baked (I used equal parts wheat crackers, graham crackers, and walnuts, added 3 tablespoons of flour, then added half a stick of melted, salted butter, about 3 tablespoons of melted pork fat and gelatin, two tablespoons of brown sugar, and a hefty pinch of salt.  Mix it together, press into a buttered tart pan, and bake at 350 degrees F for 25 or so minutes, or until golden and slightly crunchy.)
8 ounces mascarpone cheese
2 ounces good quality blue cheese (taste as you go)
1 cup confectioner’s sugar (again, taste as you go.  Palettes vary.)
1/2 cup cream, whipped
figs, pears, and honey, for garnish
directions:
Once the crust is cool, whip the mascarpone and blue cheese together.  Add in the powdered sugar, slowly, tasting as you go, until homogeneous.  Fold in the whipped cream.  Spread into crust, and chill until set.  Top with fig and pear slices, and drizzle with honey.  
by Rachel Sally

Greedy Mother Fudge

Sasha and Kasha, sitting in a tree, H-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Getting back into the swing of things here in Amurkah is proving to be slightly difficult, as it turns out that my grandiose plans of doing homework while travelling fell through.  Let’s just say I didn’t get anything as much done as I had wished.  
 
Whatevs.  School can wait; I’ve got other things on the brain, such as:
 
This bag.  Zomg.  Gimme gimme gimme. (Pleaseandthankyou)
 
Pumpkinmania.  Seriously, it’s that time of year where every food blogger has to post seventeen thousand recipes for pumpkin.  I swear, pumpkin has exploded all over the web; I’m surprised Google’s logo isn’t covered in pumpkin guts by now.  You’d think they would pick up on these nuanced web trends.  I don’t hate it.  I rather like it.  I love me some punkin.  I, for one, bought nine cans on September 1st.  
 
Thanksgiving.  Ummmm I am either a typical American consumer, who expects, nay, awaits in anticipation, drooling and dreaming of hoarding, a barrage of Thanksgiving menus, recipes, ingredients, and decorations in August, or just a food freak.  Or both.  All I know is that I already planned my family’s entire Thanksgiving menu.  A week ago.  Lawd have mercy.
 
NOPI.  We went to NOPI for a pre-theatre meal while in London; the food and atmosphere were incredible.  I think I ate an entire loaf of their bread, not to mention the fact that three of us ordered 11 selections off the menu.  Yotam Ottolenghi’s newest cookbook, Jerusalem, has also recently come out.  He’s the man.
 
I’m also kept super busy with stalking the Fashion Week coverage over at the NYT.  (Maybe if I close my eyes real tight and click my heels three times…)
 
For the first time ever, I wish I spoke Japanese.  Sucks to suck.
 
I want a donut pan.
I also want a Birkin bag, and Tory Burch boots.
I want a tempurpedic mattress.
I want Martha Stewart’s house in Maine.
Oh, and the entire Rachel Roy spring 2013 collection.
 
On a side note, I am now accepting applications for the position of sugardaddy.  Applicants can send any or all of the above, along with a head shot, bank statement, video of yourself singing a capella, and some Valrhona chocolate, for good measure.  Please feel free to include diamonds from Tiffany’s and/or Cartier.  
 
In return for your life long service and tender love and care, I will bake you one (1) confection per week, if I’m feeling generous.  
Marvelous.  I’m sure I’ll be flooded with eager grooms-to-be very shortly.  
 
Someone send help.
(thanks to bakerella for the recipe, which she got from the book)
Made with both melted dark chocolate and cocoa powder, this chocolate cake is rich, complex, and bittersweet—a perfect match for sweet frostings, which is how you’ll find it paired in our Tomboy Cake, Bittersweet Ganache Cake, and Old-Fashioned Cake. As with the other base cakes, this recipe yields two 6-inch cakes, so you can have one on hand in your freezer to decorate anytime. This cake is infallibly moist. Part of the reason for its fine-crumb texture is that we strain the batter through a sieve to remove any lumps before pouring it into the pans. Straining out the lumps rather than trying to stir them into the batter prevents overmixing and leads to a dense cake. We also sift the cocoa before dusting the pans, a technique that will give the exterior finish of your cakes a lovely smooth patina. For the Old-Fashioned Cake, we bake this cake in a contour pan, a special design with a beveled edge around the bottom that yields an elegant cake with an almost seamless form. Contour pans come in standard sizes, including 6-inch, and are easily found online.
ingredients
1½ CUPS (7½ OUNCES) ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR
1¼ CUPS (4½ OUNCES) NATURAL UNSWEETENED COCOA POWDER (SEE NOTE)
1½ TEASPOONS BAKING SODA
½ TEASPOON BAKING POWDER
¾  TEASPOON KOSHER SALT
2 OUNCES 70 PERCENT CACAO CHOCOLATE, COARSELY CHOPPED
1 CUP BOILING WATER
1 CUP BUTTERMILK
½ TEASPOON VANILLA EXTRACT
2 LARGE EGGS, AT ROOM TEMPERATURE
½ CUP VEGETABLE OIL
2¼ CUPS (16 OUNCES) SUGAR
preparation
1. Liberally butter two 6-by-3-inch regular or contour cake pans and dust with sifted cocoa powder. Tap out the excess cocoa.
2. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
3. Sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into a bowl and set aside.
4. Put the chocolate in a heatproof bowl and pour the boiling water over it. Whisk until the chocolate is melted. Let the mixture cool for 15 minutes.
5. In a separate bowl, whisk together the buttermilk and vanilla. Set aside.
6. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, whisk the eggs on high speed until foamy, about 2 minutes. Reduce the speed to low and slowly pour in the oil, whisking until combined, about 30 seconds. Raise the speed to medium and whisk until fully incorporated, about 30 seconds longer.
7. Reduce the speed to low and slowly pour the cooled chocolate mixture into the egg mixture. Slowly pour in the buttermilk and vanilla mixture. Add the sugar and whisk until the batter is smooth and liquid, about 2 minutes.
8. Stop the mixer. Remove the bowl and add the sifted dry ingredients and mix until just incorporated, preferably by hand, lifting and folding in from the bottom center. Using a rubber spatula, scrape down the sides of the bowl and mix again just briefly by hand. The batter may still look a little lumpy, but stop mixing.
9. Pour the batter through a medium-mesh sieve into a large measuring cup or bowl to remove any lumps. Press against the solids in the sieve with a rubber spatula to push through as much batter as possible, then discard the lumps. Divide the batter between the prepared pans. Bake until the tops spring back when lightly pressed and a tester inserted in the centers comes out clean, about 45 minutes.
10. Transfer to wire racks and let cool in the pans for about 20 minutes. When the cakes are cooled enough to handle the pans but still a tad warm to the touch, carefully run an offset spatula around the edges of the pans to loosen them, then invert the cakes onto the racks and remove the pans. (Note: If you are making the Old-Fashioned Cake and therefore using a contour pan, just invert the pans and drop them sharply onto the racks; they should fall out cleanly. Using an offset spatula in a contour pan will mar the edges of the cake.) Let cool for about 20 minutes longer. Wrap the cakes tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate to ensure that the interiors are completely cooled before decorating, at least 1 hour or for up to 3 days. To freeze, wrap tightly in a second layer of plastic and store in the freezer up to 2 months.
Whipped Dark Chocolate Frosting
ingredients:
2 cups heavy cream
15 ounces bittersweet chocolate chips or chunks
pinch salt
1/4 cup mascarpone
8 ounces cream cheese
directions:
Heat heavy cream up until just before boiling.  Pour over chocolate and allow to sit until melted.  Stir in salt, and stir until smooth.  Allow to cool completely.  Whip until light and fluffy, then whip in mascarpone and cream cheese.  
by Rachel Sally

Ardent

 
My dearest readers… If there are any of you… (Mom and Dad, if you guys have been visiting my blog hundreds of times more than once daily, you are giving me false hope. STOP.)
Think not that this blog has fallen to the wayside, nor become a wasteland of sweets lost in the vast Internet.
I promise I’m still here! And today, to make up for my long absence, I have four cakes for you. 
Four!! 
Baked, decorated, delivered, devoured and demolished in the span of 24 hours.
This hectic succession of cakes was brought on by the overwhelming number of September birthdays.
Now why did I feel compelled to bake for four birthdays which fall on a successive Monday and Tuesday? Because I’m stupid crazy kind of a little teeny bit nice sometimes.  Like once every seven months.  Mainly I’m just too preoccupied with whining to be kind.
 
And now that I’m on the subject of whining, I might as well get some of my daily bellyaching over with now.
My oven and I are fast friends and mortal enemies. We have a love/hate relationship, which is comprised mainly of hot, burning hatred for the other.
I swear, this fancy “Wolf” oven is more temperamental than me.  I mean, god, it’s no wonder we don’t get along.
Sometimes, like last week, for example, my oven will be set to 350 degrees F and still manage to burn hot enough to scorch the bottoms of half of a batch of otherwise perfect chocolate macadamia shortbreads.  Awesome. I love trying to scrape blackened ash off of flaming hot cookies. Said no one ever.
On the flip side, when I’m trying to bake a simple and tiny, mind you, boule, something I’ve done literally HUNDREDS of times before, this handy appliance will be blasting at 500 degrees F with a nice steamy inside for a crunchy crispy crust and will still take 50 minutes to bake the damn loaf of bread (Teeny! Loaf! Of! Bread!). How hard can it be, man?!  Get your act together.
Sometimes I wish we could work together more harmoniously, but when I have four cakes that turn out just beautifully, with none sticking to the pan, none over nor underdone, none with domes nor crevasses, I am grateful for my stupidly expensive oven.

Brown Butter Almond Bundt 
for the cake:
ingredients:
2 sticks of butter
2 cups sugar
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
5 eggs
1 cup milk
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 teaspoons baking powder
3 cups flour
1 cup slivered almonds (optional)
directions:
Generously butter and flour a 10 cup bundt pan.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Brown butter in a large saucepan.  Meanwhile, combine sugar and salt in the bowl of a stand mixer.  Once the butter is browned, add it to the sugar and mix until combined.  Whisk the eggs and vanilla into the milk and slowly add to the sugar mixture.  Once homogeneous, add in the flour and baking powder, and mix until combined.  Stir in almonds.  Bake for 45-55 minutes, or until a skewer inserted all the way into the cake comes out with relatively few crumbs.
for the glaze:
ingredients:
3/4 cup bittersweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup heavy cream
pinch sea salt
handful slivered almonds, toasted in a pan (optional)
directions:
Heat cream until almost boiling, pour over chocolate chips and salt and allow to sit for three minutes.  Stir together until shiny and completely melted; pour over cooled cake and garnish with toasted slivered almonds.

English Tea Cake

for the cake:
adapted from Sky High
ingredients:
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons cake flour
1 1/4 plus 1/8 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
1 egg
1 egg yolk (save the white)
1 tablespoon plus 1 1/2 teaspoons buttermilk
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Butter 3 6-inch pans, line with parchment paper, then butter the paper.  Sift the flour, salt, and baking powder together, then return to the sifter.  Whip the cream and vanilla to soft peaks, then add the sugar and beat just until combined (not to stiff peaks).  Then add the egg and egg yolk and whip the mixture to soft peaks.  Sift a third of the dry ingredients over the batter and fold in.  Repeat until the dry ingredients are all incorporated.  Fold in the buttermilk and pour into pans.  Bake for 18 to 20 minutes.
for the frosting:
ingredients:
2 egg whites
1/2 cup sugar
pinch sea salt
1/6 cup strong English tea (I used Lady Grey)
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter at room temp
directions:
Place the egg whites into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment.  Combine sugar, salt, and tea in a small but heavy saucepan fitted with a candy thermometer.  Heat to 238 degrees F, without stirring.  Once the sugar syrup has reached 230 degrees, begin to whip the egg whites on low.  After the syrup has cooked, increase the mixer speed to medium low and slowly pour in the sugar syrup (do not pour on the whisk, as it will splash onto you).  Whip until the meringue is cooled and the bowl feels neutral to the touch.  Add in the butter one tablespoon at a time, until all is incorporated.
to assemble:
1/2 cup orange marmalade, slightly warmed in a microwave until spreadable
directions:
Place one cake on plate, top with 1/4 cup of the marmalade.  Repeat, then put the last layer on.  Frost with a crumb coat before adding the final coat of frosting.  I decorated mine with some handmade marzipan roses.  I dyed the marzipan with a few drops of fuchsia, yellow, and green gel coloring.
 
Cherry Garcia Cake
for the cake:
adapted from Sky High
ingredients:
1 1/2 cups cake flour
1 cup sugar
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 stick butter
2/3 cup buttermilk
2 whole eggs
1 egg yolk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup dried sour cherries, chopped roughly
1/2 cup bittersweet chocolate chips, chopped roughly
directions:
Heat buttermilk slightly in microwave, then add cherries and allow to soak for at least 15 minutes.  Butter, line with parchment paper, and then butter (again) 3 6-inch pans.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Beat the sugar, salt, and butter together until creamy.  Add in the eggs, egg yolk, buttermilk, and vanilla (Whisk the wet ingredients together first.).  Next, add in the flour and baking powder and mix until homogeneous.  Fold in chocolate chips and pour into prepared pans.  Bake for 22-24 minutes, until golden and springy to the touch.
for the frosting:
ingredients:
1 stick butter, at room temp
8 ounces cream cheese, softened
pinch sea salt
1/3 cup mascarpone
4-4 3/4 cups powdered sugar
1/3 cup sour cherry jam (I used D’arbo)
directions:
Beat the butter, cream cheese, and salt together until fluffy.  Add in the powdered sugar slowly, then beat in the jam.  Taste as you go, and beyond 4 cups, only add more sugar if you want it sweeter.
to assemble:
2/3 cup bittersweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup heavy cream, heated until almost boiling
directions:
Pour the heavy cream over the chocolate chips and allow to sit for at least 3 minutes.  Meanwhile, frost the cake and place in fridge to set.  Once the chocolate chips have melted, stir the ganache together until it is shiny and smooth.  Pour over the top of the cake.  Do not refrigerate the cake with ganache on it.
 
Mocha Cake
for the cake:
adapted from Sweetapolita
ingredients:
6 ounces flour
10 ounces brown sugar
3 ounces cocoa powder
2 tablespoons espresso powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup vegetable oil
3/4 cup buttermilk
3/4 cup coffee
2 eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Butter 3 6-inch pans and dust with cocoa powder and flour mixed together.  Weigh dry ingredients into the bowl of a stand mixer with a paddle attachment and mix until there are no clumps and all are thoroughly combined.  In a large measuring cup, add the oil, buttermilk, coffee, eggs, and vanilla, and whisk with a fork.  Pour into the dry ingredients and mix until homogeneous.  Pour into prepared pans and bake for 22-24 minutes.
for the frosting:
adapted from Sky High
ingredients:
4 ounces melted bittersweet chocolate
2 cups confectioners’ sugar
2 sticks butter
4 tablespoons cream
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon espresso powder, or to taste
directions: 
Add all ingredients to the bowl of a food processor and pulse until smooth and well combined.    
for the chocolate curls or shavings 
Melt chocolate, gently, then spread thinly over a cookie sheet and allow to harden.  Using a cheese knife or a putty knife, slowly but firmly push the chocolate off the sheet.  It will curl up.