Honey Honey

 
You didn’t see my valentine; I sent it via pantomime…” 
-Fiona Apple
 
O! Be still my “beeting” heart! 
Have you hoarded enough chocolate for your valentine yet?
If he or she is anything like me, the answer is firmly no.
 
Here is the solution: a batch of (cheesily heart-shaped) deep, dark chocolate cakes.
Soft, tender, and yet perfectly chewy, these will melt hearts like butter in a hot pan.  
Melt, I tell you, melt.
 
These are a winning combination of simple and delicious.  
The chocolate shines through, highlighted with notes of salt and umami; the batter is mixed up in 1 bowl with 2 utensils; preparation is 15 minutes, tops, and, if baked in a little heart pan or in a mini muffin tin, is cooked through in just 20 minutes.
 
Beet-autiful! 
Picked up on the hint yet?  Am I obvious enough?
If you have, good for you.  Give yourself a nice pat on the back, and an extra little cake, while you’re at it.
 
These perfect chocolate cakes are made with beets!
Beets!
And honey and maple syrup!
And olive oil!
And whole-wheat flour!
Don’t be alarmed.  If you don’t like beets, I promise (pinky swear?) that you will love these cakes; the beets are undetectable.  
Beets are naturally very sweet (your sugar might actually come from beets, not sugar cane…), and carry a beautiful earthy note that is indescribable.
That very earthy note is what makes these cakes interesting; it’s a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that will leave your tastebuds humming with delight and wonder.
 
I personally love beets, so I grated mine slightly larger so I would occasionally get a little beet chunk in the cakes.  
 
My silver spoon has fed me good…” -Frank Ocean
These are too damn delicious to be as healthy as they are.  I made a light chocolate ganache to send them over the top.
 
Obviously, they’re health food.

 

Bears.  Beets.  Battlestar Galactica.
Chocolate Honey-Beet Cakes
adapted from Thyme, originally adapted from Green Market Baking Book
ingredients:
1 cup grated cooked beets (I used roasted beets; I needed about 2 medium sized beets)
4 tablespoons butter, browned
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup honey
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 egg plus 1 egg yolk
(big) splash vanilla extract
1/2 cup white-whole-wheat flour (you could use regular old AP here)
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup plus 2 heaping tablespoons cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  
Whisk the olive oil, honey, butter, maple syrup, vanilla, and egg and egg yolk together until a thick emulsion forms.  
Dump the dry ingredients on top of the wet, with the baking soda added last, so it is on top.  
Mix until just combined, then fold in beets.  
Pour into prepared pan (I used this one, you could certainly use an 8 or 9 inch round tin or mini muffin tin), and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean (this cake is so moist that you want to be sure to cook it all the way through).
 
For the ganache that you see, I actually made a regular old ganache, but swapped low-fat milk for heavy cream to make it a bit lighter.  I also whisked in about 3 tablespoons of honey to keep it shiny and smooth.  It worked wonderfully!  
I then topped the still-warm ganache with Swedish pearl sugar.

Did Someone Say…

 
…donuts?!? (er… doughnuts?)
Why, yes, I done did.  
 
Three types of donuts, in fact: brown-butter maple bacon, Vietnamese coffee (cinnamon+coffee), and cherry-chocolate.

 
Now, I’ve always been leery of frying.  It’s a lot of hot, burbling oil, which makes me nervous.
 
I’ve sustained many burns in the kitchen over the years, and ones from oil splatters are the second worse, trumped only by sugar burns.
But… and this is an important but… I’ve wanted to make real donuts for ages.  
 
I finally decided to man up and get down with deep frying, with my dearest stomach readers in mind.
These donuts are miraculously puffy and soft little pillows of dough wrapped in just-barely crispy edges and sweet, sticky glaze.  
 
I decided to make a decidedly clichéd maple-bacon donut, using my absolute favorite glaze of all-time… brown-butter/maple/cider.  Ohmagah.  Once all the donuts were glazed, I couldn’t help myself.  Sneak a dip, lick, repeat.  Until the bowl was almost gone and my teeth were beginning to ache.  So worth it, people.  So worth it.
 
The second type I made was a chocolate-crémeux filled, cherry-glazed and pink heart adorned donut.  I wanted it to be pink and include chocolate because, well, firstly, who doesn’t love cherry-chocolate, and secondly, for a Valentine’s baking article for my school newspaper.  
 
I couldn’t just leave the poor little donut holes wallow in their teeny-tininess, could I?  So I fried those lil guys up and chucked them into a bowl of coffee glaze and from there, a bowl of crunchy cinnamon sugar.
 
 
A successful morning, I’d say.  I made the dough the night before and stuck it in my fridge, and the alluring smell of donuts filled my entire house by 11:00 the next morning, rousing any and all late sleepers.  They were all gone by the next morning.
 
Yeast-Raised Doughnuts
recipe from the wonderfully decadent Pioneer Woman, Ree
ingredients:
1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon milk, warmed to 110 degrees F
2 tablespoons sugar
1 1/8 teaspoon (1/2 a regular package) yeast
1 egg
5 tablespoons butter, melted
2 cups flour
1/8 teaspoon salt
vegetable oil or shortening, for frying
directions:
Add sugar and yeast to warm milk and allow to proof for 5 minutes.  Whisk the egg and butter together quickly to ensure that the egg doesn’t scramble.  Add the egg/butter mixture and the yeast/milk mixture to the bowl of a standing mixer (with a dough hook) and mix together.  Once mixed, add the flour in in 1/4 cup increments until all the flour is gone; add the salt sometime in the middle of adding the flour (not at the very beginning or the very end).  Knead the dough on medium-low speed for 5 minutes, then turn the mixer off, scrape the bowl, and turn the mixer on medium-high for 30 seconds.  Let the dough rest for 10 minutes, then place it in a lightly oiled bowl, toss to coat, and press plastic wrap directly onto its surface.  Place in the fridge overnight (or 8 hours).  
The next morning, take the dough out and place it on a lightly floured surface.  Roll it out to 1/4 inch thickness, and working quickly, cut out as many rounds as you can.  If the dough gets too warm and begins to shrink back, stick it back in the fridge for 10 minutes.  Cut holes out of the rounds, unless you want to fill the donuts.  Place all your rounds and holes onto a parchment lined baking sheet, cover lightly with a dish towel, and let rise in a warm place for about an hour, or until the doughnuts are visibly puffy and look fluffy.
Heat 3 inches of vegetable oil in a heavy, large pot (I used my dutch oven) until it reaches 375 degrees F.  
Gently place the donuts in the oil and cook for 1 minute on each side.  Remove with a slotted spoon to paper towels, and dab/blot/roll the donut around to remove as much oil as possible.  Let cool slightly before glazing. 
Remember to keep checking your oil’s temperature; do not let it get over 380 or below 365.  375 is the ideal temperature.
 
I used this glaze for the maple-bacon donuts, and topped them off with freshly cooked bacon.
 
For the Vietnamese Coffee donuts:
ingredients:
1 cup powdered sugar
pinch salt
splash of vanilla extract
1 heaping tablespoon instant espresso
3 tablespoons milk, or as needed to thin
3/4 cup sugar plus 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon, for rolling
directions:
Dissolve the espresso into the milk.  Stir in the vanilla and salt, then whisk in the powdered sugar.  If the glaze is too thick, thin it with more milk.  As your donuts (or donut holes) cool, dunk them in the glaze, then quickly roll them in the cinnamon sugar.  You may want to wait for a few minutes after glazing to roll in the sugar, if your glaze is thin and drippy.  

T-Minus

Soft snowflakes are floating down outside my window as I type this, landing gently on vibrant evergreens and vivid red berries.
 
 
Something is stirring in me as I take in the peaceful scene outside…
 
By Jove, I think it’s the Christmas spirit.

My stomach is still bloated has barely regained its balance from Thanksgiving, and I’ve already got the next holiday on the brain.  
Exactly one month!

I gots problems, people.
Why, just last weekend, I spent an entire day raking with my family, greedily anticipating Thanksgiving, and appreciating the beautiful fall weather.
How quickly times change, no?

I had a very beautiful, very long, very poetic post written to go along with this.  

Only problem?  I wrote it using the blogger app on my phone.  What a Big Mistake that was…  (Picture me shaking my fist at the blogging gods right now.)

I’m sorry that I’ve been away from the blog for some time.  Thanksgiving really took it out of me, as I decided to undertake the prep and cooking of the entire meal myself.  

 


The last few weeks, in terms of Thanksgiving prep, have gone something like this:

I ordered the turkey (no, I don’t eat meat, but my family does).
I went to my local butcher at an ungodly hour in the morning, to make sure I got my hands on some good local meat products: fresh bacon, fresh cranberry-sage sausages, and freshly-rendered lard.
I went grocery shopping (by meself) after a long basketball practice; I spent a ridiculous amount of money and could hardly push the cart, and I’m no weakling.  I must have purchased 200 pounds of food that day.

I went and got the turkey from the farm, a trek that ended up being far harder than me going out and hunting a damn turkey myself.  As it turns out, there are multiple “Creamery” Roads, complete with “ninety-degree turns” right near house number 200s in the nearby Slaterville Springs.  Can you guess who went to the wrong one?  What turned out to be the completely wrong one?  Yes, me.  And don’t laugh.  I had to drive 5 miles in a state forest OFF-ROAD in my Volvo to get to the wrong farm, only to discover that the house numbers went from 194 to 204.  What the…?!?  Yes, I went 45 minutes past the correct Creamery Road.  Upon this realization, I cursed, cried, and punched my steering wheel, à la Shit Girlfriends Say (go to 2:07).  I’m kidding.  But I did wheel my car around and speed back through the forest as fast as I could, suspension be damned.  

I cooked.  A lot.  The menu?

Sourdough bread, gluten-free cheese crackers, cheeses, and grapes 
Roasted squash, carrots, parsnips, turnips, beets, and sweet potatoes
Roasted lemony brussels sprouts with cranberries, roasted garlic, and maple-balsalmic glaze
Quince and brown-butter basted turkey
Smashed fingerling potatoes with scallions and bacon
(Gluten-free) Cornbread stuffing with sausage, apples, onions, and sage
Apple cider cranberry sauce
(Healthy) Pumpkin pie in an almond-date crust
Salted caramel apple thyme pie in a cheddar cheese and lard crust with maple whipped cream
Maple crème fraîche tart 
Copious amounts of Prosecco, Champagne, and wine


It was all delicious; I was very happy.  And exhausted.  Still am.

The night before Thanksgiving, we celebrated my oldest brother’s birthday.  I made him a French toast cake, which consisted of a brown sugar, brown butter cake filled with cinnamon cream cheese, frosted with a brown sugar swiss meringue buttercream, topped with a maple caramel glaze, and finished with candied bacon.  Yowza.

I’ll be around more often; I promise.  After all, I have some serious holiday baking calling my name.  
P.S. I’m thankful for you guys!  It seriously awes me that I even have readers.  Love y’all.

 
French Toast Cake
for the cake:
ingredients:
3 sticks unsalted butter, browned
2 1/4 cups flour
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/3 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
3 egg yolks (save the whites)
2 whole eggs
1/3 cup maple syrup, topped off with buttermilk to equal 1 1/4 cups
directions:
Let the butter cool until barely warm to touch.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Butter and flour a half sheet pan.  Add the sugar, salt, and vanilla to the butter and beat until combined. Add in the eggs and egg yolks and mix to combine.  Add in the maple syrup-buttermilk mixture and mix to combine.  Dump in the flour and baking powder and beat until homogeneous.  Spread into pan and bake for 30-35 minutes, until golden brown and springy to the touch.
for the bacon:
2 strips bacon
brown sugar, as needed
directions:
in a preheated oven, bake bacon, covered in brown sugar, until crispy, about 15 minutes; flip halfway through and coat with more brown sugar.
for the filling:
ingredients:
8 ounces cream cheese
big pinch cinnamon and nutmeg
big pinch salt
3 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup heavy cream, or as needed
directions:
Beat all ingredients together until fluffy.
for the frosting:
ingredients:
4 ounces egg whites
4 ounces brown sugar
big pinch salt
12.8 ounces butter, room temp
directions:
In the bowl of a stand mixer, mix egg whites, salt, and sugar together.  Heat over a pan of steaming water until the egg whites reach 145 degrees F, whisking all the while.  Remove from heat, and beat until stiff meringue forms and bowl is cool to the touch.  Slowly add in the butter, tablespoon by tablespoon, and continue to beat until the buttercream is fluffy and smooth.
for the caramel:
1/2 stick butter
1/4 cup brown sugar
big pinch salt
1/4 cup maple syrup, plus 1 tablespoon
2 tablespoons cream
directions:
Melt butter together with salt, brown sugar, and 1/4 cup maple syrup over medium heat and cook until smooth.  Remove from heat and stir in cream and last tablespoon maple syrup.  Use immediately or refrigerate and reheat and recook until smooth before use.

Sand in the Vaseline

 
Last week, my bake sale was pushed back a day, due to a day off from school, thanks to Sandy.  Now, I’m not complaining, mais elle nous a posé un vrai lapin (She stood us up) where I live.  I hope anyone whom she didn’t is safe; my heart goes out to those without power or heat who are bracing for the next big storm.  
 
Life has been a little hectic for me lately, as you can probably tell by my lack of posts.
 
Being a senior in high school, the big deadline was November 1st for my college application.  It was down to the wire.  A real nail biter.  By the time I finished typing that last essay, it was 10 o’clock and the last trick or treaters had already dissipated into the night.  Hitting submit was a relief, for about two minutes.  Then the post-application panic set in.  
 
Now, a week later, I’ve submitted to a pretty much constant state of being on edge.  

 

 Also, it’s November
Which means I’ve been spending every waking minute some time planning Thanksgiving.  As in, the menu, the shopping lists, the timetable, the seating, etc.
Call me Liz Lemon. Please?
To help get in the holiday spirit, make these cinnamon cookies.  Cinnamon and dulce de leche are commonly mixed flavors in Latin America; many recipes for cajeta (goat’s milk dulce de leche) call for a pinch of cinnamon.  These butter cookies are super flaky, with cinnamon swirls, and pair perfectly with the sticky, salty filling.
 
Into comfort food?  Then make rice krispies instead.  Except make them better.  Start with the marshmallows. No corn syrup or refined sugars and no artificial flavoring allowed.  They are so much better.  Fluffy, springy, and soft, with a mellow maple undertone and little flecks of vanilla.  Add those to a little bit of browned butter, mound up a mountain of rice krispies, and press into a buttered pan.  Beautiful, and so much healthier than those little blue packages.  

Cinnamon Swirl Cookies with Dulce de Leche
adapted, in part, from smittenkitchen
for the (quick) dulce de leche:
ingredients:
2 cans sweetened condensed milk
a few healthy pinches of good-quality sea salt
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Pour the milk into an oven proof dish, and sprinkle with sea salt.  Put aluminum foil over the top, and place in the oven for 30-40 minutes, checking and swirling often to avoid overflow.  Once toffee colored, pull from oven, add another pinch of salt, and let cool.  
for the cookies:
ingredients:
4 ounces (1 stick) butter 
1/3 cup confectioners’ sugar, sifted
1 egg yolk
splash vanilla
big pinch of salt
1 cup flour
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Cream the butter, sugar, and salt together until fluffy.  Add in the egg yolk and a splash of vanilla extract, and mix until combined.  Add in the flour all at once, and mix until a dough forms.  Weigh out the dough, divide in half, and add half of the dough back into the mixer bowl.  Add the brown sugar and cinnamon in, and mix until combined.  Take the vanilla dough and knead it together with the cinnamon briefly, until they begin to swirl together.  Roll out the dough to a 1/8 inch thickness, and cut out cookies.  Gather scraps and reroll.  Bake cookies, spaced 1/2 inch apart, for 10-12 minutes, until they are starting to be golden at the edges and the centers are no longer puffy and soft.  Let cool, and fill with dulce de leche.
 
Brown Butter, Maple, and Vanilla Bean Rice Krispies (Snobby Krispies Treats)
for the marshmallows:
adapted from Gourmet, via smittenkitchen
ingredients:
1 tablespoon plus 1 1/4 teaspoons gelatin
1/2 cup cold water
1 cup unrefined sugar (I used evaporated cane juice)
1/4 cup maple syrup
big pinch salt
1 egg white
scrapings of 1 vanilla bean
mixture of 1/2 confectioners’ sugar and 1/2 cornstarch (about 1/3 or 1/2 cup)
directions:
Oil a 9 x 12 pan.  Add 1/4 cup of the water to the bowl of a stand mixer, and sprinkle gelatin over top to soften.  In a heavy saucepan, cook the maple syrup, last 1/4 cup water, salt and sugar until a candy thermometer reads 240 degrees F.  Pour syrup over gelatin.  With the whisk attachment, beat mixture until thick and nearly tripled in volume.  Meanwhile, beat the egg white with the vanilla bean scrapings until stiff peaks form.  Once the gelatin mixture is done whipping up, beat in the egg white until just combined.  Scrape marshmallow into pan, dust the top with confectioners sugar mixture.  Chill until firm, at least 3 hours and up to one day.  Once marshmallow is firm, turn it out onto a cutting board and slice into pieces using a well oiled knife.
for the krispies:
ingredients:
3 tablespoons high-quality European butter (I used Kerrygold)
10 ounces marshmallows
8-9 cups rice krispies
directions:
Butter a 9 x 12 pan well.  In a heavy saucepan, brown butter.  Once browned and nutty, add in marshmallows, and stir well until they are all melted and homogeneous.  Add in the rice krispies and stir until all the krispies are coated, but not inundated with marshmallow (you may need to add more so that the bars aren’t too sticky).  Scrape into the pan and press down with a buttered spoon.  Let cool, then cut into bars.