Category: whining

by Rachel Sally

C.R.E.A.M.

Catz Rule Everything Around Me.
Meow.
I have a love/hate relationship with these two nasty little buggers.
See, Sasha and Kasha were both rescues of sorts- both rescued from dirty, teenage-boy apartments.
 
Sasha was a farm kitty who was bought on a whim by my older brother and his roommates.  
They brought her back to NYC and she promptly (and tragically) fell out of a four story window.
She survived with just a tiny cut on her chin…  She now has 8 lives left.
She’s the nicer of the two cats, but certainly lacks in the beauty department.
She also has a bad habit of escaping outdoors when you’re least expecting it (our cats are firmly indoor cats), and then manages to evade recapture for ages.  
She lets you get in very close, almost as if to catch her, then sprints away.
That little ratfink.  
Kasha was just a little kitten “rescued” from my friends’ apartment last summer.
They had initially rescued her from a field.
She is truly a feral cat… Raised among teenage boys, what else could one expect?
She’s a pretty one, covered in stripes and spots, but she’s very small.
I don’t expect she’ll grow much more.  We call her Peewee.  (More often than we use her real name!  She’s such a dinky little thing.)
Kasha is not very friendly, and doesn’t like to be held or pet.  Real lovely personality.
She eats like a starved and crazed animal, which she is not.
She’s even got a tiny pudgy little belly. 
If you even come near her eating her food, she will make a strange, high pitched gurgling/growling noise and proceed to try to fit everything in her bowl in her mouth.
It’s grotesque.  Seriously nauseous eating habits.
Also, Kasha tends not to purr.  Or meow.  She beeps.
She sounds like a bird mixed with a telephone.
I don’t know where this is going.
But basically, all I do is take photos of my cats and food.
And all I talk about are my cats.  I don’t even like them that much.
Welcome to my life, I guess.
It’s very exciting and instagram-worthy.
I don’t have a recipe for these cookies.  
I dumped a bunch of things in a bowl and hoped for the best.
When I experiment like that (which is very often), I always make notes on a post-it.
Trouble is, I have so many damn post-its that I can’t remember what they mean!
Also, I can only find two- I don’t know where the others go.
Somehow, I still have notes for an orange-olive oil cake, and I swear I’ve thrown this very one out three times.
It keeps coming back.
But alas, the search for the maple-bacon-brown butter-brown sugar cookie post-it has been in vain.  I will update this if I find it!
 
Be back soon… With ice cream!
by Rachel Sally

The Key Of Life

An Invitation
I will meet you
where the rocks turn green
and slick,
lapped by cool water and rain.
Where the tree branches are lace
against an endless sky-
I will meet you not
where two diverge,
but join.
We will walk
where the smell of
old fallen trees
perfumes the air
and the proud calls
of little birds
tangle in our hair,
in our minds.
Where raindrops run unimpeded
to rivers wide and deep.
Where mist rolls thick
 and cotton-soft,
snakelike around our ankles
early in the mornings.
I will meet you where the sun rises
and leave you where it sets.


These are some snapshots of my recent days.  
Some come from the market: our farmer’s market is flourishing with life.
Others come from my home or from the lake.
I am so grateful for summer.
 
Yesterday, I had a horrible accident with my immersion blender.
I will spare you the gory details, but it involved stitches and lots and lots of blood.
I will be out a hand for a few days.
Nevertheless, I have a very exciting post to come tomorrow or the next day.
Also, expect many ice creams to follow in the next few weeks.  
It is so hot.
 
For now, I hope you enjoy these photographs.
They are a small window of my life outside the kitchen.
Gros bisous!
by Rachel Sally

Clafir

It’s not lazy, it’s French.
Clafou-what?  
Clafoutis is derived from the Occitan word clafir, to fill.
And yes, there is an s, even for the singular version of the word.
 
(L’Occitane, anyone?  L’Occitane means “a woman from Occitania.”  
Occitania spans Southern France, Monaco, the Val d’Aran, which is the only part of Catelonia north of the Pyrenees, and the Occitan Valleys of Italy.)
 
According to Wikipedia, Occitan is comprised of 6 dialects, 2 of which are definitely endangered and 4 of which are severely endangered.
 
When I first discovered the UNESCO Red Book of Endangered Languages, I thought it was a little ludicrous.
However, the more I thought about the real meaning of an endangered language, and the implications of such, the more saddened I became.
The fact that a language, something so deep rooted in history and culture, can disappear within a few generations thanks to globalization and modernization, not to mention lazy teenagers/future generations, is upsetting to me.
 
I spent more time than I probably should have exploring UNESCO’s map of endangered languages (here).
The number of languages, ranging from vulnerable to extinct, is mind-boggling.
2471.
231 fully extinct.  And that’s just in recent memory.
Cleopatra spoke 9 languages.
Nowadays, many are lucky to speak two, let alone three.
The broad scope of what we are losing is arresting, but not surprising.
We disregard our history and heritage, both intellectual and physical.
We are letting our environment fall to pieces and our culture, too.
My!  I guess I’ve been feeling a little disconnected after discovering trash strewn all over a state forest.
After hiking down a long and winding path to discover that it ended in a dumpster.
Poignant or repugnant?
I don’t know.
Back to your regularly scheduled program.  (…L’album Noir; The Black Album…)
 
This is my take on a classic French (hailing from Limousin, within Occitania) pastry, the clafoutis.  It consists of an eggy custard surrounding sweet, juicy cherries.
I added a rye crust because I love rye pastry crusts.
And because I felt that the nutty richness of rye complemented the sweet stone fruits well.
 
Traditionally, the pits are left in this dessert, for two reasons.
One, it preserves the beautiful shape of the cherries, and prevents much of the juice from escaping, ensuring a lovely pop of flavor from each little fruit.
Two, the centers of the pits of the cherries, the noyaux, give a wonderful almond perfume to the whole tart.
The kernels in the pits of any stone fruit have a flavor reminiscent of almonds, and are indeed related to the nut.
(And third, albeit not traditional: I was lazy.)
I already had to pick through the cherries to ensure that none were past their prime, let alone try to remove their stubborn little pits with a paper clip.
 
These tarts are delicious, and despite the pits, they were all gone by the next day.
This clafoutis is ridiculously easy to make, gorgeous, delicious, and can be served at any temperature: warm, room temp, or chilled.
AKA fresh out of the oven, for an afternoon snack, and dessert.
Parfait!

Rye and Cherry Clafoutis
ingredients:
for the crust:
2 sticks butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 1/4 cup AP flour
3/4 cup coarse rye flour
for the filling:
1 egg
1 egg yolk
1 cup half and half 
1 tablespoons sugar
2 or so cups of fresh sweet cherries, picked over and cleaned
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Make the crust: beat butter and sugar together until shiny, fluffy, and smooth, about 4 minutes.
Scrape the bowl, add in the salt and flours, and mix on low until a ball forms.
Roll the dough out on a well-floured surface and transfer it as best you can into your pans. (I used a 9-inch, a 41/2 inch, and two 3 inch cake rings.  I think that you could use a 10 or 11 inch pan and fit everything in one, but I wanted to have some smaller tarts on the side.)
Do not worry if it rips; it is extremely forgiving.  
Just press and patch the dough into the pans as evenly as possible.
Prick all over with a fork and freeze for 10 minutes.
After 10 minutes, pull the shells out of the freezer and place the cherries in the bottom. (Put as many as you can humanly fit.)
Bake for 10 minutes, until you can just hear the cherries sizzling.
Meanwhile, whisk the egg, egg yolk, half and half, and sugar together.
After 10 minutes, pull the tarts halfway out of the oven and pour the custard into the shells, until it comes up the sides nearly to the top; you probably won’t use all of the custard, especially if you filled your crusts up with cherries.)
Bake for 20-25 minutes, until the custard is set and the edges of the pastry are browned and fragrant.
Allow to cool (or don’t!) and serve with whipped cream, if desired.
by Rachel Sally

Raisin in the Sun

Or does it explode?
It’s hot, hot, hot.
Summer is coming.
The other day, it was about 90 degrees here in Ithaca, which translates to approximately 110 degrees on the inside of a certain little red Volvo.
Obviously, I raced home and did the one thing any sane person would do in the heat:
I turned on my oven.
My pup has never faired well in the heat, but as she ages, it becomes even more difficult for her.
Her lethargy is taken to a whole new level.
The other day, I took her on a walk (it was cool, but the sun was very strong), and, right in the middle of it, she sat down.
And refused to move.
She is no lightweight, either.  When a 95-100 lb chocolate lab makes up her mind to sit, your walking plans better change, pronto.
What ensued must have looked hilarious to passerby, but was most certainly not amusing for me.
We had stopped at the bottom of a shallow hill.
When Ginger decided she could take no more and wanted to go back, I realized her mortal mistake, but it would take her a few more minutes to come to the same realization.
We had to turn around and go UP the hill.  In the sun.  
Actually, she didn’t go up the hill.  She sat.
I pulled.  I pushed.  I wanted to carry her, but that would have been a feat perhaps to great for me.
I was sweating.
She was panting.
I was mad.
She sat.
When we got home, the poor old dear was panting so heavily, she sounded the way I do when I’m having a panic attack.
She slumped down on the cool stone floor of our porch.
I set a bowl of ice water near her and strategically placed a fan aimed at her belly.  
So lazy was she that she could not even get up to drink the water.
I had to push it closer so that she could half drink it by flopping over on her side.  
I mean, really?
Alright, ready for me to bring this back around to rugelach?
Ready?
We got Ginger when I was 7- my mom likes to say that we were puppies together.  
At that point in my life, I was still a good little devout Catholic and my family attended church every Sunday, without fail.
Um… Best part about church?  You always got doughnuts or cookies afterwards at the faith group that met on Sundays.
Ithaca Bakery, here in town, makes killer rugelach.
Rugelach that we often indulged in on Sundays.
(I know, Jewish cookies for Catholics.  Cookie love unites all!!)
Ithaca Bakery makes their rugelach in scrolls, like those shown, rather than the more traditional crescent shape.
When I first saw the rugelach in Dorie Greenspan’s book, I was very confused.
Those were not rugelach.
I did not trust these strange moon shaped cookies.
Surely they were not those that I knew and loved.
Turns out, they are.  Egads!
 
 
I find that the scroll shape holds the innards in far better than do the crescents, and it’s the shape I like, so I stuck with it.  
Feel free to shape the cookies into crescents if you so desire.
I slicked my dough with a thin layer of apricot jam, then a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar, and finally, a thin topping of walnuts and raisins.
You could do raspberry jam, or orange marmalade- or anything- run with it!
Same goes for the nuts.  Use whatever floats your boat.
I’m also thinking of some rugelach with sour cherries or golden raisins.  Yum.
The key to your filling not spilling out and burning the bottoms of your cookies to kingdom come is to be frugal with it.  Trust me.
 
With rugelach, it’s all about the shatteringly flaky pastry.  This pastry is seriously flaky, people.  Like, crumbs everywhere-unless-you-eat-it-in-one-go type flaky.
If that doesn’t convince you to make these, then I don’t know what will.
 
Anyways, me and Ginge enjoyed a few of these cookies together, just like the good old days.
She approves.  

Rugelach
for the dough:
from Dorie Greenspan
ingredients:
4 ounces cream cheese, cut into 1/2 ounce pieces
8 tablespoons butter, cut into tablespoon-sized pieces
1 cup all purpose flour
3/8 teaspoon kosher salt (she calls for 1/4 teaspoon of regular salt; I always prefer to use kosher or sea salt and I generally use pinches rather than measurements; here, a good, hearty 2 pinches will do.)
directions:
Place flour and salt in the bowl of a food processor and pulse to combine.  Sprinkle the chunks of cream cheese and butter over the top of the flour and pulse until a rough dough forms.  
Gently form dough into a ball and wrap in plastic wrap.  
Flatten slightly and refrigerate. 
to assemble:
ingredients:
apricot or raspberry jam
3/4 cup sugar mixed with 2 teaspoons cinnamon
2 handfuls of raisins
chopped walnuts
1 egg mixed very well with 1 half egg-shell full of water
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Roll out your dough into a rectangle that is 1/8-1/4 inch thick.
Spread a thin, thin, thin layer of jam all over the dough.
Sparsely sprinkle a thin layer of cinnamon sugar all over the dough, then press a handful of raisins and walnuts over the sugar.  
Do not fill your dough too full with the fillings, because they will leak out and burn in the oven.
Roll up your dough rectangle tightly (roll starting with the long end of the rectangle, NOT the short, unless you want gigantic rugelach).
Cut into 1-inch wide pieces, and place 1 inch apart on a baking sheet.
Brush lightly with egg wash, and sprinkle more cinnamon sugar on top.
Bake for 10-12 minutes, until puffed, golden, and crispy.

by Rachel Sally

Can’t Trust That Day

Today’s post is brought to you by the letter B.
 
It’s Monday, people.
We could all use more chocolate and butterscotch on Mondays.
It’s tough going- I know.  I’m currently taking my 3rd of 4 AP tests. 
I chose blondies as my last meal.  And I chose well.
When I say bbbbblondies, it’s because I cannot possibly call these what they really are without sounding like a crazed sugar addict- 
brown butter brown sugar banana butterscotch blondies.
 
They’re gooey and sweet and rich, studded with more mix-ins than batter, and hit the spot straight out of the oven/freezer.  (More on this in the recipe itself)
 
They take 5 minutes to throw together, 25 minutes to bake, and, if you’re being very patient, 30 minutes to thicken and become dense in the freezer.
But you don’t have to do that, not if you’re ever so hungry.
 
These make Mondays just a tad bit more bearable.
Catch y’all on the flip side of these last two tests. 
Bbbbblondies
adapted from smittenkitchen
ingredients:
8 tablespoons (1 stick) of butter
1 packed cup light brown sugar
two big pinches coarse sea salt
1 egg
1 medium banana, mashed (about 1/2 cup)
splash vanilla
1 cup of flour
1/3 cup butterscotch chips
1/3 cup chocolate chips
1/3-1/2 cup chopped pecans
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Pam spray an 8-inch round tin or an 8×8 square pan.
Brown the butter in a large saucepan.
Once butter is browned, beat it with the sugar until the mixture looks like very, very wet sand.  
Add in the egg and the salt and beat on medium speed until mixture has lightened in color and most of the sugar is dissolved, about 2 minutes.
Beat in the banana.
Stir in the vanilla, then beat in the flour until the mixture is homogeneous.
Stir in the mix-ins.
Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 20-25 minutes, until top is shiny and gives slightly to pressure.
The trick for super dense, gooey blondies: 
Let your blondies cool most of the way on a rack in the pan, then transfer the pan to the freezer and freeze for 30-ish minutes.  The gooey center will become dense.
by Rachel Sally

Kvetch

If you’ve been reading my blog for any amount of time, even a brief glance, you were not surprised, I’m sure, at the title of this post.
 
I kvetch quite a lot, especially on this soapbox in my little corner of the internet.
 
Fun, if not somewhat depressing, fact: 1 out of every 3 posts on this blog has been labeled with “whining.”
1 out of every 10, “Stupid.”
3 of every 20, “WISE.”
 
At least I have that ratio going for me… WISE>Stupid.
Phew.
 
I won’t lie and say that my project has been going especially super duper well, simply because it has been somewhat stagnant in the last two weeks, primarily due to the fact that I have 4 finals within the next two weeks and 4 APs the two weeks following.
 
Needless to say, that has been consuming a lot of my time, energy, and, frankly, willpower.
 
I wanted to make something yesterday with basil, as we have two basil plants which have outgrown their welcome flourished, Lord knows how or why, in our kitchen.
It’s difficult for me to push WISE to the forefront of my mind and my worries these days.
I itch to get in the kitchen, but I have to force myself to work on other homework, else I fall behind (speaking of which, I already am behind…).  
 
I am relieved that my timeline for WISE is so much longer than my other classes; it may be only a few week difference between my APs and my WISE presentation, but I’ll be darned if it doesn’t feel wonderful not to have added pressure in yet another class.
I know there are still things I haven’t gotten to.
I know there are topics that are in dire need of attention.
I know because I read my project proposal once through, yet again (I found a typo! Send help!!!), and realized that while I have gone above and beyond certain expectations that I had had, I am also lacking in more than a couple.
About the dessert, ’cause that’s what we really care about around here:
 
I found this dessert by Michael Laiskonis (the plating makes me want to cry, it is so beautiful. And no, I am not joking.  I love that stinking cylindrical panna cotta so much.  How could you not?  It’s a little tube of beauty.) and ran with the inspiration.
 
First, I kept things small- the plate that you see is a tiny little tea saucer, though it looks rather large in the photos.  
Secondly, I loved the way he cut the strawberries- it’s unconventional and transforms them into a new, unfamiliar element which attracts the eye.   So yeah, I copied him there.  
Third, I had no idea that basil seeds, like flax and chia seeds, were mucilaginous.  Steeping them in basil syrup is so logical but so unexpected.  
It heightens the herbaceous and spicy notes of the seeds, while activating their mucilage-producing quality.
Yucky name, lovely texture- sort of “squeaky,” as Laiskonis describes it.
 
Stick with me for a few more weeks, guys.  
We’re in it for the long haul.
 
P.S. humblebrag… sorry not sorry… Look at that quenelle!!  Best one yet!  I’m figuring out more and more tricks:
boiling water
small spoon
NO drying off the spoon
a tall, plastic container with a rim for the ice cream.
Hallelujah, I might have quenelling down by the time I have to present.
Capri
strawberry curd
tomato spheres
balsamic reduction
steeped basil seeds
basil ice cream

Capri

for the strawberry curd:
ingredients:
1 1/2 cups sliced strawberries
2 1/2 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
pinch salt
1 egg
1 tablespoon butter
directions:
Bring the strawberries, sugar, salt, and lemon juice to a boil.  
Allow to simmer until the strawberries have broken down into a smooth mush consistency. 
Whisking vigorously, add the egg.
Cook over medium-low heat until the curd thickens.
Whisk in the butter.
Chill until use; press plastic wrap right onto the surface of the curd to store.

for the tomato spheres:
1/2 cup of tomato juice, freshly pressed out of a few tomatoes
2 tablespoons sugar
pinch salt
1 teaspoon agar
2 cups canola oil, chilled in the freezer for at least an hour
directions:
Stir the salt, sugar, juice, and agar together in a microwaveable, large container.  
Microwave on HIGH for 30 second bursts, until the mixture boils.
After the first burst that it boils, microwave it twice more, for a total of 1 minute 30 ish seconds of boiling in the microwave.
Remove the oil from the freezer (put it in a wide, large bowl).
Using a syringe, drop the liquid tomato gel into the oil.  It will congeal into little spheres.
Remove from the cold oil by straining the spheres out (the oil is reusable), then rinse in cool water and use.

for the basil seeds:
ingredients:
2 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons sugar
10 basil leaves, cut into a chiffonade
1 tablespoon basil seeds
directions:
Bring the water, sugar, and basil leaves to a simmer just to dissolve the sugar.
Strain out the leaves.
The syrup should be a loose consistency.  
If it is not, simply add more water 1/2 a teaspoon at a time.
Sprinkle the basil seeds over the syrup and mix gently.
Allow to sit and become mucilaginous.  
To use, strain the syrup with a sieve.

for the basil ice cream:
adapted from Jeni’s
ingredients:
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons half and half
1 heaping teaspoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon mascarpone
10-15 basil leaves, cut into a chiffonade
1 vanilla bean, scraped
3 1/2 tablespoons sugar
1/2 tablespoon light corn syrup
pinch kosher salt
pinch gelatin (scant 1/8 teaspoon)
directions:
Bring the vanilla bean, the vanilla seeds, the half and half, the sugar, the salt, the corn syrup, and the basil leaves to a boil.
Reduce heat to a simmer and whisk cornstarch in very well.
Place mascarpone in a bowl; strain the hot ice cream base over the mascarpone; discard basil leaves and vanilla pod; whisk well to dissolve mascarpone.
Sprinkle gelatin over the top of the mixture and whisk to combine.
Allow to cool to room temperature, then spin in your ice cream maker until smooth and creamy.
Store in a plastic container in the freezer.

for the balsamic reduction:
ingredients:
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
directions:
Bring to a boil over medium heat in a small saucepan.  
Allow to boil for 15-20 seconds, then remove from heat.
The reduction should be only slightly looser than a syrup.

to assemble:
strawberries
micro basil leaves
1/2 cup heavy cream, whipped to soft peaks
directions:
Smear a tablespoon or so of strawberry curd in a curve around your plate.
Place a large mound of whipped cream on the base of your plate; create a small well in the center with the back of a spoon.
Slice the very tips of the strawberries very thinly; place a few around the plate.
Spoon 1/4 teaspoon piles of basil seeds around the plate.
Garnish with micro basil leaves.
Splatter balsamic reduction across the side of the plate.
Place 1-2 tablespoons of tomato spheres in the well of your whipped cream.
Quenelle a scoop of basil ice cream and balance it on top of the spheres.
Serve immediately.

by Rachel Sally

Unseasonable

This was not supposed to be a Christmas themed dessert.
I swear.
It was meant to be a beautifully vibrant expression of three of my all-time favorite flavors:
 pistache, framboise, et rose.
 
Pistachio, raspberry, rose.
I had dreams about the beautiful red spheres of raspberry that I could make; I drooled over the thought of a pistachio pain de gênes; I practically fainted when I pictured candied rose petals, topping the whole shebang off.
This dessert was the very first baking I did when I got home from my vacation.
Let’s just say that I was just a little *ahem* antsy to get back in the kitchen.
I had been planning this dessert out for ages, diligently typing out recipes on my phone on the plane ride to the islands.
 
It makes sense, then, that this was an especially ambitious dessert.  
Highly involved, many components, and many, many opportunities for human error to enter into the system.
I wasn’t entirely happy, as it became very clear very quickly, with the color scheme of this dessert.
The raspberry was so vibrant that it looked garish next to the muted greens of the pistachios.
The white meringues were too much of a contrast with the rest of the plate, and the rose petals which I had candied were pink, not red, and looked like sliced red onions on the plate. 
*gag*
 
So, lesson learned: ease back into my work, lest in the throes of relaxation my creativity has silently slipped into a less tasteful realm.
 
Also, pink rose petals look like onions.
 
Pistache et Framboise
vanilla goat cheese panna cotta
raspberry gelée
raspberry curd
rosewater meringues
raspberry and rose cubes
pistachio pain des gênes
raspberry spheres
chopped pistachios
(candied rose petals)
 
I currently don’t have my WISE journal (it’s being evaluated… eep!), and I didn’t make a dessert this weekend, so I guess I’m “behind” a week in terms of desserts.  
I’ll probably make one during the week, to catch up, and I’ll be back to regularly scheduled posts soon.
I think.
 
Pistache et Framboise


Raspberry Rose Cubes
ingredients:
80 g raspberry purée, strained twice through a sieve
1 teaspoon rosewater
5 g sugar
1.2 g agar
directions:
Bring juice and sugar to a simmer, add the agar and mix with an immersion blender. Strain and pour into a rectangular pan, then put into fridge to set. Once set, cut into cubes.


Goat Cheese Panna Cotta
ingredients:
1 ounce goat cheese
1/4 teaspoon gelatin
1/4 cup cream
1 vanilla bean
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons sour cream
directions:
Bloom gelatin in 1 tablespoon cold water. Being cream, scrapings from the vanilla bean, and sugar to a simmer, then blend in goat cheese until melted.  Add gelatin and blend with immersion blender, then add in the sour cream.  Pour into shallow bowls and chill until set.

Pain de Gênes à la Pistache
ingredients:
56 grams pistachios
1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar
Pinch salt
1 egg plus 1 egg yolk
4 tablespoons butter, softened and cut into chunks
21 grams flour
1/8 teaspoon baking powder
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Butter a 6-inch cake pan.
Pulse pistachios, salt, and sugar into a finely ground meal in a food processor.  Add eggs and butter and pulse until thoroughly combined. Add the flour and baking powder and pulse until combined.
Spread batter into pan and bake for about 30 minutes, until a cake tester comes out clean.

Raspberry Spheres
ingredients:
100 g raspberry purée
25 g sugar
2.4 g calcium lactate gluconate
500 g low calcium water
2.5 g sodium alginate
25 g sugar
directions:
Prepare the alginate bath: heat water just to dissolve sugar, then add in sodium alginate and blend until completely dissolved. Allow to settle and  cool overnight.
Blend the puree, sugar, and calcium lactate gluconate until homogeneous. Spoon into hemispherical silicon molds and freeze until solid.
To make the spheres, drop the frozen purée into the bath and leave for 4 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and rinse in clean water.

Raspberry Curd:
adapted from Luscious Berry Desserts by Lori Longbotham
ingredients:
3 tablespoons butter, cut into chunks
5 ounces raspberries
2 egg yolks
Pinch salt
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
directions:
Bring raspberries and sugar to a boil, then press through a fine mesh sieve.  Whisk in the egg yolks and salt, then bring to a simmer over low heat, whisking constantly.
Once the curd comes to a simmer, remove from heat and whisk in butter until curd is smooth and silky.

Raspberry Gelée
ingredients:
1 teaspoon gelatin
1.1 ounces water
4 ounces frozen raspberries, thawed
2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
directions:
Bloom gelatin in water.
Boil raspberries and sugar together, then press through a fine mesh sieve.
Stir in lemon juice and gelatin mixture, then use immediately and place in refrigerator to set.

Rosewater Meringues
ingredients:
60 g egg whites (should be two-ish, feel free to just use 2)
75 g sugar
Pinch cream of tartar
1/2 teaspoon rosewater
directions:
Preheat oven to 200 degrees F.  Line a sheet pan with parchment.
In the bowl of a stand mixer, whisk the eggs until foamy.  Add in the cream of tartar and continue to whisk.
Slowly start adding the sugar, as the egg whites whip.
Continue to whip until the meringue is very stiff.
Beat in the rosewater.
Form large mounds using two spoons.
Bake for 11/2 hours, rotating midway through.
Turn off the oven, crack it open a bit, and allow the meringues to finish drying (the oven should be completely cool when you pull them out).

Candied Rose Petals
From Alice Waters
ingredients:
Unsprayed rose petals
1 egg white
1 cup superfine sugar
directions:
Brush the petals on both sides with the egg white, then lightly dip the petal in the sugar.  Lay them out on a wire rack and allow them to dry at least a few hours to overnight.
by Rachel Sally

Googolplexian

 
A googolplexian is 
 
1010100 .
 
For a rough estimate, just count the number of layers in this cake. 
I mean, really.
I’m an exaggerator.  It’s true.  Always have been, always will be.
 
Now, my family calls it being a drama queen, diva, prima donna, etc.
 
They’re exaggerating.
Just who do you think I got it from?!
 
But seriously, guys.  
When I make crêpes, I feel like I’ve made a hundred thousand million and I look at the stack and there’s like six sitting there, plus the one in my mouth.
Talk about disheartening.
 
I’ve tried to make crêpe cakes before.
 
I must will myself not to eat them fresh and hot from the pan and I must will myself to stay at the stove making stupid pancake after pancake until I can take no more.
(And/or have had my fill of fresh, hot crêpes.)
 
Then, after hours and hours of tending to a flaming hot stove, I, ever stoical and composed goddess of patience, must wait for them to cool.
HA!  Fooled you, didn’t I?
Like heck I’m waiting for crêpes to cool… I’ve got things to do and places to see.
 
Ain’t nobody got time for dat.
 
I slap those suckers together with some filling, then stand back to admire what I expect to be a lovely little French pastry.
I’m never happy with what I behold.
 
It’s like getting a hairless cat instead of that damn poodle I was promised at the beginning of this whole ordeal.
 
They never stand above two inches tall, and they’re always droopy instead of ruffly and prim.  They’re not flavorful enough.
They’re boring AND ugly.  
A real winning combination…
 
So why are you staring at a haphazard, not very ruffly, somewhat off-kilter crêpe cake right now?
Because I couldn’t stop thinking about layered crêpes.
Because I couldn’t get the flavor combination of banana and vanilla and apricot out of my head.
Because I wanted cake for breakfast, brunch, lunch, and linner that day.
Because I wanted said cake to be a semblance of something healthy.  Ya know.
This cake is whole-wheat, has very, very little sugar in it, less than a teaspoon of butter, and is chock full of protein and healthy fats, thanks to the greek yogurt, ricotta, hazelnuts, and coconut oil; most of the sweetness comes from the bananas, vanilla seeds, and tart California apricots.

This cake is thus approved for every meal of the day. 
 It’s not the shiniest spoon in the drawer, to be sure, but it tastes good.  It tastes real good.
 
(I can’t describe how much the asymmetry of that one darned hazelnut bothers me. 
Whyyyyy didn’t I fix it while the cake was still in existence?  
It will haunt me for the rest of my life.)


Banana Apricot Crêpe Cake
for the banana crêpes:
adapted from Smitten Kitchen
ingredients:
4 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
1 6 ounce banana, peeled
1 cup almond milk
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons white whole wheat flour
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons all purpose flour
4 eggs
2 tablespoons natural sugar
splash vanilla
big pinch sea salt
pinch each cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg
directions:
Whir all ingredients together in a food processor.  
Let batter rest for at least 20 minutes.
To make the crêpes, heat a 6 inch skillet up on medium high heat.
Brush with coconut oil- you should only have a thin film.
Pour about 2 tablespoons of batter into the pan and immediately swirl to coat the bottom of the pan.
Cook for 1 to 2 minutes until the top is cooked and the bottom is golden brown.  
To flip, use a spatula to pick up the edge, then gently use your fingers to pick up and flip the crêpe.  (Don’t be a baby.  It’s not that hot.)
Continue until all batter is used up.

for the Greek yogurt and ricotta filling:
ingredients:
1/3 -1/2 cup Greek yogurt, depending on how loose you want your filling and/or how thick you want the filling layers to be.  I used closer to 1/2 a cup.
1/3 cup part skim ricotta
1/3 cup powdered sugar
splash vanilla
pinch salt
directions:
Whisk all ingredients together.  Set aside and let thicken slightly.

for the apricot-vanilla compote:
ingredients:
15 dried California apricots
1 vanilla bean or 2-3 already used pods (I fished some used ones out of my sugar)
boiling water
directions:
Roughly chop the apricots.  
Place in a heat safe bowl with the vanilla pod (cut the pod up into 2 1/2 inch chunks if it is whole).  
Pour boiling water over to cover completely.  
Allow to sit for 15 minutes, until the apricots are softened and there are vanilla seeds floating in the water.
Drain most of the water, reserving 2-3 tablespoons.  
Scrape the insides of the vanilla beans out and place in a food processor along with the reserved water and the apricots.  
Pulse until a slightly chunky paste forms.  Set aside.

for the caramel sauce:
adapted from the NYT
ingredients:
1/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon water
2 tablespoons light cream
1/2 tablespoons butter
big pinch of sea salt (around 3/4 teaspoon)
directions:
Add the sugar and water to a heavy bottomed saucepan and cook on medium heat until light amber, 5-7 minutes.  
Remove from heat and immediately stir in cream.  
Mixture will bubble and steam, so beware.  
Whisk in butter and salt; use before completely cooled.  
To loosen it up again before use, microwave it for a few seconds until it is liquid.

to assemble:
Cut up a large banana into thin slices.  
Begin layering the crepes, spreading each with yogurt filling, then either banana slices or apricot filling.  
Alternate the banana and apricot.  
Once your last crêpe is on the cake, pour the caramel over top.  
If desired, you can stack some toasted hazelnuts on top before pouring the caramel.  
Allow the caramel to set slightly, then serve.

by Rachel Sally

Knockoff

Not all knockoffs are like that fake Juicy Couture bag I bought at the Silk Market in Beijing.
 
The one which turned out, once inspected in a brighter lighting and clearer mindset, to be a brown-and-pink diaper bag with a malfunctioning zipper.
Take these cookies, for example.  They’re a take on those lovely, pillowy “Lofthouse” style sugar cookies that you can buy in every single supermarket in America.
You know the ones… They come in packages of six or ten or so, generally with pink or blue Crisco-based “butter”cream icing adorned with heaps of sprinkles, which, during appropriate holiday rushes, change into seasonally themed icing and sprinkles.
 
They’re so bad…. But so very, very soft.  And hard to resist.
 
Editor’s note:
[While perusing their website, which took an inordinately long time to load, discovered that they now come in red velvet [?!] and frosted with nerds [?!!].  Suspicious whether this is good idea or very, very bad one.  Must say, nerds are great.  
Therefore still on fence about nerd-frosted sugar cookies.
 
Also noted: holidays featured are Easter, Halloween, 4th of July, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, and Thanksgiving.
Wonderful!!! All imaginable holiday cookie needs covered! 
 
Perusing further, discovered watermelon and sugar plum flavored sugar cookies (and, of course, ubiquitous and gratuitous pumpkin).
 
Must ask what a sugar cookie designed to mimic sugar plum even tastes like?
Best guess: saccharine.
 
Watermelon?  Can only think of sticking Hubba Bubba into a cookie and dyeing the whole thing bright green.  Mmmmm refreshing.
 
Nearly done with snottiness.  
Blue-, pink-, yellow- and white-frosted cookies considered disparate flavors/groups?!
Found one difference: which number dye goes in at end of mixing time.
 
Last and most important point: how does “purple-boo” icing taste?  And why not kosher?]
Oh, and actually…  Props to Lofthouse for trying to be more eco-friendly.  It’s hard for me to love the cookies anymore, but I sure as heck appreciate that.
 
Here.  Now that you’ve endured an entire post of whining and carrying on, why don’t you enjoy a big, fat, soft cookie with a sweet, buttery swirl of icing on top?
These cookies are wonderful.  So soft and fluffy, perfectly offset by a mound of buttercream.  I also made free-form rose flavored sprinkles/shards to top the whole thing off.
Subtle, and not overly perfume-y.  Just what I was going for.  
I don’t want people thinking I poured a bottle of my nicest Chanel into my cookies.  Feel me?

I loved this recipe… Easy and produced great results.  I highly recommend it!



Faux Lofthouse Sugar Cookies
ingredients:
6 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 ounces( 16 tablespoons) butter, softened
2 cups granulated sugar
3 eggs
1 teaspoon (I added much more… I like vanilla) vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups sour cream
directions:
Stir together the flour, baking powder, soda, and salt.  
In the bowl of a mixer, cream the butter and sugar together.  Scrape the sides.
Beat in the eggs, one at a time.  Scrape the sides.
Beat in the vanilla and sour cream just until combined.
Mix in the dry ingredients just until the dough comes together and is fully mixed.
Divide into 2 disks and refrigerate for at least two hours.
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.  Line sheet pans with parchment or silpats.
Lightly dust a clean surface with flour, and turn one of the refrigerated disks out. 
Roll out to a thickness of 1/4 inch, then cut out desired shapes.
Bake for 7 minutes, then let cool on wire racks.
Gather scraps, refrigerate for a little (10 minutes) if they are becoming warm and elastic, then re-roll.
Repeat with other dough.
 
American Buttercream Frosting
ingredients:
1 stick butter
1 cup plus 1 tablespoon confectioner’s sugar, sifted
big pinch of salt
splash of vanilla extract
1 tablespoon of cream, as needed
directions:
Beat the butter until smooth and fluffy.  
Sift in the sugar, add the salt and vanilla extract, and beat on low speed until incorporated.
Beat on high speed for about 20 seconds, until everything is homogeneous.  If the frosting is thick, add some cream or milk in small increments until it is spreadable.
Spread a thick layer onto each cookie, leaving a slight mound in the center of the cookie.  Spin the cookie while lightly pressing down in the center to create a small well for your sprinkles!
 
Rose Shards:
Use this recipe (brilliant!), but add in a drop of rosewater and spread it very thinly and evenly over a sheet of parchment instead of piping lines out.  Let dry completely, then break apart into little shattered pieces.  Use it to garnish the frosted cookies.