Keep Calm

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“Come, let us have some tea and continue to talk of happy things.”

-Chaim Potok

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“Tea is drunk to forget the din of the world.”

-Tien Yiheng

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“Strange, how a teapot can represent at the same time the comforts of solitude and the pleasures of company.”

-Author Unknown

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“Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.
“I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone, “so I can’t take more.”
“You mean you can’t take less,” said the Hatter: “it’s very easy to take more than nothing.”

-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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There is always time for tea and room for cake.
Or, in this case, both.

Chocolate cakes infused with Earl Grey tea in two manners: dry tea leaves, and hot brewed tea.
The sweet, floral undertones, which have orange and verbena notes, as well as the astringent black tea leaves, contrast well with the deep and rich chocolate cake.
The Italian meringue buttercream is made with honey and golden syrup, resulting in a salty-sweet, silky delight that tastes like the top of a good piece of toast, minus the bread, which is the worst part anyway.

I might actually like cupcakes again.
This recipe only makes 6, which is perfect (I don’t need 24 cupcakes floating around my house, people…), and is a marriage of unexpected flavors which ended up working inexplicably well.

The best recipe for health and happiness:
good books, better tea, and, of course, delicious cupcakes.

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Teatime Cupcakes
makes 6
cake portion adapted from Sweetapolita
ingredients:
for the chocolate Earl Grey cakes:
48 grams (1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons) flour
75 grams (1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons) sugar
3/8 teaspoon baking soda
3/8 teaspoon baking powder
3/8 teaspoon cornstarch
big pinch kosher salt
15 grams (2 tablespoons) cocoa powder
1 tablespoon loose Earl Grey leaves
40 mL (2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons) buttermilk
1 medium egg (if using a large egg, beat it well before adding it, and remove 2 teaspoons of beaten egg)
30 mL (2 tablespoons) hot Earl Grey tea
25 mL (1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons) vegetable oil
splash vanilla extract

for the honey golden syrup IMBC:
111 grams (1/3 cup) honey
111 grams (1/3 cup) golden syrup
scant 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 egg whites
230 grams (1 cup) butter, cut into small pieces and soft but cool

directions:
For the cakes, line 6 muffin tins with cupcake papers.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Whisk the flour, sugar, baking soda and powder, cornstarch salt, tea leaves, and cocoa powder together.
Into the dry ingredients, add the buttermilk, egg, hot tea, oil, and vanilla.
Whisk very well to combine. (It will be a very thin batter.)
Fill each cupcake well with 1/4 cup of batter.
Bake for 15-18 minutes, until domed and springy to the touch, and a tester comes out clean.
Allow to cool completely before frosting.

For the honey golden syrup IMBC:
Place the egg whites, along with a pinch of cream of tartar, in the bowl of a stand mixer.
Place the honey, golden syrup, and salt in a small sauce pot over medium heat.
Begin to whisk the eggs.
When the syrup reaches 230 degrees, the eggs should almost be at soft peaks.
When the syrup reaches 240 degrees, the egg whites should have soft peaks that are almost stiff.
Pour the syrup carefully, down into the bowl while the mixer is running.
Beat the meringue until it has cooled to body temperature, then beat in the butter one tablespoon at a time.
Beat until the buttercream has become very fluffy and light.
Frost cupcakes as desired.

P.S.

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Minted

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“Oh you fancy, huh?”

-Drake

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I am a food blogger.
(And I just quoted Drake.  Lest I be smote from this weblog by the fiery foodie gods for doing so, I leave you with these fancy cookies.)
I eat up seasonal themes like they’re small batch chocolates, y’all.

If you thought you were going to escape winter unscathed and untouched by pepperminty desserts, hoo boy were you wrong.  Won’t you ever learn what a terrible blogger I am?
Remember what happened in the autumn?  How I denied and denied and procrastinated and then DUMPED all the punkin on you at once?
In fact, right after you had thought it safe to dispose of the sad leftover pumpkin in the can sitting in the back of your fridge. (Is that only my family?  My mom liked the can, thus we have 1/2 cup of  month old pumpkin.  Yumbo.)

And you were fed up and almost wrote my blog off.  But you forgave me and we had fika and all was well.

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Well, here we go!  I’m coming in hot with peppermint, the cliched classic winter flavor.
Luckily, I got my shit together and this post is still somewhat appropriate, because it’s not yet xmas and therefore we all still have candy canes lying around.

Funny thing is, I only intended on having one minty post.  However, these cookies used up a lot fewer candy canes than I anticipated, so I have an entire tupperware full of peppermint bits that must be put to good use.

I told you I was irritating.  Stock up now!  You can take your anger out by smashing them to little bits while you wait for the next inevitably untimely peppermint post.

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We get our tree from the same farm every year, and have done so since the family moved to Ithaca (prior to my being).

When we were little, we’d always get candy canes after picking out our tree, from a basket a little shed.

Candy canes were always passed out by teachers and kids alike when the holidays neared in school, a sweet little gift that lifted spirits.

Sometimes we’d get candy canes in our stockings.

Candy canes will forever bring about memories of the holidays, of winter, of my favorite time of year.

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Macs with candy canes?

Yes.  Yes.  Yes yes yes yes.

Chocolate hazelnut shells + chocolate mint buttercream + crushed candy canes.

Need I say more?

But actually.  These were delicious little guys, crisp and filled to the brim with silky buttercream.
The peppermint accents were delightful, a perfect foil to rich hazelnuts and toasty chocolate.

But actually.  So many cookies to share with you.  My head is spinning.  My fingers grow weary of typing.  My oven, well… my oven is always on anyways.

This is part III of our upgraded holiday cookie list.
part I: nutmeg, maple, and rye sugar cookies
part II: Linzer cookies, done right
part III: peppermint chocolate macarons
part IV: ????!?!

You’ll have to check back for part IV, you greedy little things.

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A few quick tips, before I leave you with this addition to your cookie platter.

Bake your macs on a well-insulated baking sheet.  Or, double or triple up.

Make Italian meringue macarons!  Just try it once.  For me.  Because I am a very firm believer in Italian meringue.

Test your batter well and often with the ribbon test: a spatula lifted out of the batter should drip in ribbons, which should disappear back into the rest of the batter within 10 seconds.

Read all of Stella of Bravetart’s posts on macarons.
All. of. them.  Definitely worth your time!  She knows what she’s doing!

If you try them out, let me know!  I’m always curious about macaron success!
Back soon… With the fourth and final (?) part of this cookie marathon!

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Minted Macarons

ingredients:
for the shells:
adapted from Jo the Tart Queen
130 grams hazelnuts or almonds
25 grams cocoa powder
150 grams powdered sugar
70 grams egg whites (approximately 2 egg whites)

150 grams granulated sugar
30 grams water
70 grams egg whites
pinch cream of tartar (optional)

for the buttercream:
180 grams butter
60 grams dark chocolate, melted
splash vanilla extract
2 drops peppermint extract
70 grams powdered sugar, sifted
1 teaspoon-1 tablespoon heavy cream, as needed to thin

to assemble:
chopped candy canes or peppermint candies

directions:
Make the shells:
Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper, being sure it lies flat.
Prepare a large piping bag with a large, plain piping tip.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
Place nuts, confectioners sugar, and cocoa powder in a food processor and process until finely ground.
Sift into a bowl and add the first measure of egg whites.
Stir until a smooth paste forms.
Combine the water and granulated sugar in a small sauce pot fitted with a candy thermometer.
Place the second measure of egg whites along with the cream of tartar in a stand mixer and start to whip them on low speed.
Meanwhile, begin to heat up your sugar and water.
When the sugar syrup reaches 242 degrees F, the egg whites should be at soft peaks.
Drizzle the syrup into the whites with the mixer on low speed, then increase speed and whip on high until slightly cooled and meringue is glossy and stiff.
Fold 1/3 of the meringue into the nut paste until the nut paste is lightened up.
Fold in the rest of the meringue and continue to make folding, stirring motions until the batter flows like lava and a spatula lifted out of the batter drips in ribbons.
Place the batter in the piping bag and pipe out small circles, flicking with your wrist to sever the stream of batter.
Allow to dry for a few minutes, then place in the oven and bake until a cookie lifts cleanly off the parchment.
Allow to cool completely, then fill and decorate.
Make the buttercream:
Melt the chocolate and stir until smooth; set aside to cool slightly.
Beat the butter on high speed until very smooth and fluffy; add in the extracts and beat until combined.
Scrape the sides of the bowl very well, then add in all of the chocolate at once and beat on high speed until combined.
Sift the confectioners sugar over top and then beat it in.
If frosting is too thick, add heavy cream one teaspoon at a time to thin.
To assemble, spread a thick layer of buttercream onto one macaron shell; place another one on top and squeeze slightly so that the buttercream slightly protrudes from the sides.
Roll in chopped candy canes.
Allow to age for at least 1 day before eating. (Ahem.)

Pop!

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This cake is certainly cheerier than the last to be posted here, though it was made prior to that one.

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This cake was for my best friend (haaay I have friends y’all), Alexa.
She is an incredibly picky eater, but she loves popcorn.

Annnnnd it was her birthday (October 24th), so I made cake+popcorn.

(Note: the last 3 posts have been cake on this here blog.  Gettin’ real wild.)

Although this post is late (I had Halloweenie matters to attend to, after all), we still had a wonderful time celebrating her birfday.

Happy, happy (belated) birthday, Alexa love, I hope you enjoyed your cake!!

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The cake itself emulates salted, buttery caramel corn.

The base is a simple yellow butter cake, with a soft, tight crumb and pronounced yellow color from egg yolks.

Their companion egg whites are whipped into a flurry with lots of butter and salted caramel to make a salted caramel Italian meringue buttercream.  Um, salivating.  It is deeeelicious.

Extra salted caramel is gratuitously drizzled over the edge, dripping lazily to pool at the bottom.

The cake is topped with a veritable mountain of salted butter caramel corn, which is crunchy and light and sweet and salty and amaaaazing.

(The recipe I’ve included makes, like, 2 times more popcorn than you really need, because, well.  Trust me.)
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A boring tech-y update: you can now subscribe by email at the very bottom of the page, where the search bar and tag cloud also reside.
Don’t worry- you won’t get any spam– it’s just an easier way for people to visit the blog for fresh posts, rather than checking back and finding stale crumbs they’ve already read.

Also, many of you have been pinning photos (I love you for it!  Seriously!!), and I wanted to let you know that there are two ways to do it: you can click on the pin button on the photos themselves, or click on the pin button at the bottom of each post.

Pin away!

xo

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Buttered Caramel Popcorn Cake

for the yellow butter cake:
makes 2 6-inch layers
to make a 2 layer 9-inch cake, double this recipe
adapted from Joy of Baking
ingredients:
150 grams (1 1/2 cups) flour
1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
85 grams (6 tablespoons) butter
132 grams (1/2 cup plus 1 scant 1/4 cup) sugar
3 egg yolks
120 grams (1/2 cup) milk
1 teaspoon vanilla

directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease and flour 2 6×2-inch pans.
Whisk the flour, baking powder, and salt together.
Beat the butter and sugar together for 4 minutes, until light and fluffy.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add the egg yolks; beat for 2 more minutes.
Add in the milk and vanilla and stir gently to combine.
Dump in the dry ingredients all at once and stir gently until the batter comes together.
Pour and scrape the batter into your pans.
Bake for 20-25 minutes, until a tester comes out clean.
Allow to cool, then frost.

For the salted caramel Italian meringue buttercream:
makes about 3 cups
adapted from FoodSwoon
ingredients:
3 egg whites
60 grams (1/4 cup) water
225 grams (1 cup plus 2 tablespoons) sugar
splash corn syrup (approximately 1 teaspoon)
small pinch salt
350 grams (3 sticks) butter, cut into small chunks
1/2 of a batch of salted caramel, cooled, the rest reserved for drizzling, recipe below

directions:
Place water, sugar, corn syrup, and salt in a medium, deep-sided pot.
Place the egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whip attachment; start to beat them on a medium-low speed.
Begin to heat the syrup; when it reaches 240 degrees F, the egg whites should be at soft peaks.
Slowly stream the syrup into the egg whites with the mixer going.
Beat the meringue until cooled to body temperature, then beat in the butter 2 tablespoons at a time.
Continue to whip until buttercream is silky, then beat in half of the caramel.

for the salted caramel:
adapted from FoodSwoon
ingredients:
100 grams (1/2 cup) sugar
30 grams (2 tablespoons) water
1 tablespoon corn syrup
90 grams (1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons) heavy cream
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

directions:
Heat the sugar, water, corn syrup, and salt together, whisking at the beginning until they dissolve.
Stop stirring and allow to caramelize into an amber color, then remove from heat and quickly whisk in butter and cream, being careful of the splattering.
Whisk until completely smooth, then allow to cool before using.

For the salted caramel corn:
adapted from the Kitchn
ingredients:
popped popcorn from about 1 1/2 bags of popcorn
130 grams (1 stick plus 1 tablespoon) butter
160 grams (3/4 cup) brown sugar
big pinch kosher salt, plus a little for sprinkling
1/4 teaspoon baking soda

directions:
Preheat oven to 250 degrees F, and line 2 baking sheets with parchment or silpats.
Place popcorn in a a big bowl, being sure to not include any unpopped kernels.
In a deep sided pot, heat the butter, brown sugar, and salt until they begin to caramelize.
Whisk well to combine, then add in the baking soda and quickly pour over the popcorn.
Toss and mix well to coat, then scrape out onto the baking sheets.
Lightly sprinkle with a touch of salt, then bake for about 30 minutes, or until the caramel is completely dry and crunchy. (Be careful not to burn the caramel; your oven shouldn’t be too hot.)

to assemble:
Stack your cake on a cake stand and frost it with the buttercream; run a warm offset spatula or butter knife over the exterior to smooth it.
Drizzle the remaining caramel on the edges of the cake, then top the cake with a mountain of caramel corn!

Between Two Lungs

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“I’m so glad I live in a world with Octobers.”

-L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

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Happy Halloween, y’all!

Have some cake.

Go ahead; dig right in.

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This cake won first place in a “study break”  competition in my residence hall!
Meaning it won my house points in the house cup (yes, just like the Harry Potter house cup!)!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(DGH fo’ lyfe.)

I was so nervous/excited.
Now I’m excited/proud/tired.
Writing this at 2 am 3 am 4 am 10 am. FML.

(Yes, I actually tried to write this at all those times… I don’t want to talk about it.  I want to whine about it.)

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Guyyyyzzzzzz I was supposed to be doing a 12 problem calculus p-set last night, but I was at the study break celebration/competition (study break is a tradition at uChicago: it’s any treat that someone volunteers to make on Wednesday for the house to enjoy and take a break with) until 11, so I didn’t start the problem set until around then.

I did 6 problems in about an hour…

and then realized

that I did them

in the wrong section.

like WHAT I am taking calc at uChicago you would think I could tell the difference between

12.2 and 12.3 but NOPE no way so

I was up until 4am last night finishing this damn p-set for my 9am class this morning.

Moral of the story: I am a zombie and more so than ever, I want to eat this bloody heart cake.

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Let me give you a brief overview of this cake: (don’t be overwhelmed!)

it is a 12 inch, 5 layer cake

3 layers of tangy red velvet
2 layers of rich chocolate
enrobed in fluffy, silky Italian meringue buttercream
topped with a bleeding heart sculpted from rice krispies treats and covered in homemade marshmallow fondant.

It’s over the top, and somewhat grotesque.
But isn’t that what Halloween is all about?
I mean, c’mon.

Creepy bloody hearts are prime Halloween subjects.
Grab a fork and knife and tuck in!

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Bleeding Heart Cake

You’ll need:
3 batches red velvet cake (recipe below), baked in a 12×2 inch pan
2 batches chocolate cake (recipe below), baked in a 12×2 inch pan
2 batches Italian meringue buttercream (recipe below)
1 1/2 batches classic rice krispie treats (recipe from the Rice Krispie website, here) (I recommend only using a total of 2 tablespoons butter, instead of 4.5, to firm up your krispie treats)
1/2 batch royal icing (Bridget is the queen of royal icing… Go forth and prosper with her amazing and fail-proof recipe)
1/2 recipe marshmallow fondant, tinted red with a touch of green and purple (Annie’s directions are AWESOME and you should check them out… As well as the rest of her blog… It makes me swoon.  Love!)
Raspberry jam mixed with corn syrup and red food coloring to create a purple-red, thick fake blood (you have to eyeball this to your best ability)

directions:
While your krispie treats are warm, crunch them up a bit with oiled hands.
Begin to work the treats firmly, packing tightly, into an egg shape.
Mold a small, rectangular lump on the upper right “corner” of the heart; this will be your pulmonary artery and vein.
Make a slight indent that cuts from the upper right side to the middle/lower left side (refer to pictures!!!).
Freeze until hard; meanwhile, roll your fondant out to 1/4 inch thickness.
Cover the krispies with royal icing to smooth out any lumps, then cover in fondant, making sure there are no gaps where royal icing may seep through.
Seal the edges with a little bit of water and the dull side of a butter knife.
Begin to add on fondant on either sides of the diagonal indent to create slightly raised ventricles; adhere 3 balls at the top left “corner” and smooth them into cylinders to create your aorta- stick a dowel or pinky finger into the center to create the interior.
Do the same ball technique for the pulmonary vein and artery on the right upper corner.
Continue to smooth with water and a knife.
Once you are content with the shape (again, refer to pictures!), use the remaining fondant to roll tiny little veins, arteries, and capillaries.
Use a little bit of water to adhere the blood vessels to the outside of the heart, mapping them out so that all of the smaller vessels stem from a larger, central artery or vein.
Drape with plastic wrap and allow to dry slightly- I recommend overnight, but make sure it is covered in plastic lightly so that it doesn’t crack and dry out too much.
For the cake itself, layer a red velvet, then 1/3 cup frosting (the filling is very thin between the layers- they are moist enough that it is unnecessary, and too much filling will compromise the structure, so beware.), then a chocolate layer, then red velvet, and so on and so forth.
For red velvet and chocolate, a crumb coat is key.
Apply a thin layer of frosting to trap the crumbs, then refrigerate until completely set- about 30-45 minutes.
Ice the cake with the remaining buttercream, piping on details if you wish.
Place the heart in the center of the cake and stab it with a fork or knife, if desired.
Strategically drip some of your fake blood on the cake to give the illusion of a bleeding heart.
Go scare people!

Red Velvet Cake
adapted from the Food Network
makes 1 12×2 inch layer
ingredients:
150 grams (1 1/4 cups) flour
150 grams (3/4 cup) sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
pinch salt
5 grams (1 tablespoon) cocoa powder
150 grams (1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons) oil
120 grams (1/2 cup) milk, plus 1 tablespoon vinegar
1 egg
14 grams (1/2 ounce) red food coloring (the liquid kind)
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and grease and flour a 12×2 inch pan.
Whisk the flour, sugar, baking soda, salt, and cocoa powder together.
Whisk the oil, milk, vinegar, egg, and food coloring together.
Whisk the wet into the dry ingredients and whisk well to combine.
Pour into pan and bake for 25-30 minutes, until a tester comes out clean.

Chocolate Cake
adapted from the Kitchn
makes 1 12×2 inch layer
ingredients:
200 grams (1 cup) sugar
105 grams (3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons) flour
30 grams (1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons) cocoa powder
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
big pinch salt
1 egg
60 grams (1/4 cup) oil
120 grams (1/2 cup) hot water
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and grease and flour a 12×2 inch pan.
Whisk the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt together.
Whisk the egg and oil into the dry ingredients.
Whisk the hot water into the batter; it will be very, very thin.
Pour into prepared pan and bake for 25-30 minutes, until a tester comes out clean.

Italian Meringue Buttercream
more in-depth directions here
ingredients:
5 egg whites
200 grams (1 cup) sugar, plus 20 grams (scant 2 tablespoons) (divided)
56 grams (scant 1/4 cup) water
500 grams (4 1/2 sticks) butter, cut into chunks and softened but still quite cool
directions:
Whisk the egg whites with 20 grams of sugar.
Meanwhile, heat the rest of the sugar with the water in a saucepan until it reaches 240 degrees F.
At this point, the meringue should be at softly stiff peaks.
Drizzle the hot syrup over the meringue and beat until cooled to body temperature.
Beat in the butter 1 tablespoon at a time; keep beating until frosting is light and silky.

My Kind of Town

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Warning: cliché tourist-y Chicago pictures ahead.
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It’s weird to think that I live in a city now.
I’m a small town girl, born and raised in heaven Ithaca.
Living in a city is different.  I’ll grow used to it (I already have) but there is a lot more hustle and bustle and many fewer friendly faces.  (It’s true!)

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I miss Ithaca.  I love my hometown.  It’s, well… my home!
This weekend, I missed the apple festival, which is my favorite fest in Ithaca.
I miss fall/nature.  Cities are kinda weird for me in terms of the absence of animals.
I’ve seen, like, 3 squirrels since I’ve been here.
I miss my fam.
I really, really, really miss my dog.
And I kinda sorta miss my cats.

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So I’m still getting used to being away from home, and also being in a city.
Pretty standard college stuff… I ain’t stressed.
I must say, though, the architecture in Chicago (and uChic, but that’s for another post… Coming attractions!) is amazing.
I love walking around this city.  It’s inspiring and so, so beautiful.
So, photos.  Tourist-y photos.  Sorry not sorry.
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The cake you see here was the first thing I made upon arriving at college.
It was for someone in my house; their birthday was in the middle of o-week.
It was a disaster.
The first batch I made didn’t seem to be setting up, and was overflowing like crazy out of the pans.
Aside from new kitchen jitters, I knew something else was going on.
Upon further inspection, I realized I had used whole milk in the batter, which had added enough fat that the gluten never properly formed, resulting in overflow and explains the never-setting-up part.
Oh well.  My friends and I ate the molten cake and I made up another batch the next day; only one of the first cakes was salvageable.
The frosting is a simple Italian meringue buttercream with a few ounces of chocolate mixed in.
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P.S. You can see some more Chicago/tourist photos on my flickr, in the Chi-Town set.

Click here.

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The recipe for the cake is here.
I spread raspberry jam in between the layers.
For chocolate Italian meringue buttercream, halve this recipe and, right after whipping in the butter, add in 4 ounces of melted and cooled chocolate.

Windy Wednesday

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Today’s post is brought to you by the letter W.

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Words are not one of the W’s.  They escape me today.

But rather: waffles, waterfalls, and wistful. (Wednesday, too, I suppose!)

Oh… and windy… Because, yes, I am in the Windy City.

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So, um, yes.  Here are some abstract pictures of a waffle cake.

And my dog, obviously.

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My waffle maker makes kind of smushed waffles.  It’s pretty old.  I don’t blame it.

The result of  stacking up these smushed waffles with a lightly spiced brown butter and maple pear-apple compote and a maple Italian meringue is a delicious but somewhat ugly cake.
I know!! So many ugly cakes lately.  Sorry.  Sometimes that’s how the cookie crumbles.
Whataryagonnado.

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Pssst… I even had a slice for breakfast!

(Ginger, on the other hand, did not.)
Which explains her facial expression.

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Pear and Apple Waffle Cake

for the waffles:
from King Arthur Flour
ingredients:
1 1/2 cups milk, warmed to 110 degrees F
6 tablespoons melted butter
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast
1 scant cup of Belgian pearl sugar

directions:
Sprinkle the yeast over the milk to prepare it for its job; after five minutes, whisk in the butter and maple syrup as well as the vanilla extract.
Stir in the eggs and the flour and salt; set the batter aside in a warm place, covered in plastic wrap, for one hour, to rest and rise.
Right before cooking, stir in the Belgian pearl sugar.
Cook the waffles in a waffle maker.
for the pear and apple compote:
ingredients:
2 medium pears, peeled and cored and chopped into small pieces
3 medium apples, peeled and cored and chopped into small pieces
3 tablespoons maple syrup
1/2 tablespoon butter
pinch salt
pinch cinnamon
pinch nutmeg

directions:
Brown the butter in a saute pan, then add all the apples and pears and saute them until they soften.
Add the maple syrup and allow it to reduce by 1/2.
Season to taste with salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
Allow to cool before using.

for the maple Italian meringue buttercream:
ingredients:
1 egg white
pinch salt
pinch cream of tartar
1/3 cup maple syrup
1 stick of butter, softened
directions:

Place egg white, salt, and cream of tartar in the bowl of a stand mixer.
Place maple syrup in a small pot and begin to heat it up.
Whip the egg white while heating the maple syrup to 240 degrees F.
The white should be at soft peaks when the syrup reaches temp; drizzle it in with the mixer running.
Once the meringue has cooled, beat in the butter.
Stack up the waffles with buttercream and compote.
Enjoy!

Subpar

 
It was my dad’s birthday today!
 
My dad is not your average father… So, obviously, I made him a not so average birthday cake.
It’s birthday cake… with a twist.
Actually, a few twists.
Or a few kicks.  However you want to say it.
 
I’m very tired while writing this post (on Sundays, the credits of Breaking Bad pretty much signal bedtime to me), so I’ll keep it short and hopefully sweet.
 
My dad is a wonderful human being.  Just superb.  I mean, really.
I could not ask for a more supportive, caring, and understanding father.
He is truly the rock to which I am tethered.
I could not have weathered any storms without him keeping me from blowing away.
 
He’s watching golf, now that we’ve finished Breaking Bad, which is maybe his only bad habit.
Watching golf.  Or maybe playing golf.
He just loves golf so much… I guess I forgive him for it.  Depending on my mood, that is.
BUT I should clarify the title of this post: I mean subpar in a golf way, not in a real world way.
Even though it’s not a term they use, I don’t think.
What I mean is that he’s better than average.
Or something like that.
I don’t know.  Stop looking at me like that.
So this cake… It’s spicy.
Spicy, sweet, and over-the-top.
It’s a rich chocolate cake with a silky cheesecake in the center, sandwiched with spicy strawberry-cayenne jam, frosted with a super smooth Italian meringue buttercream, and topped with cayenne-gianduja macarons.
 
Everything balances out very nicely:
deep, smoky chocolate
slightly sour, rich, thick cheesecake
spicy and tart strawberry
silkier than silky IMBC, which is super buttery and offsets the intense flavors well
slightly crispy, chewy macs with a hint of spice and gianduja (AKA nutella).
This is truly a celebration cake.  You can expect to see more macaron-topped cakes from me in the future.
Once I get my macs down perfectly, that is.
Happy birthday, Daddy!  I love you!
Kickin’ Chocolate Birthday Cake
 
Cayenne Gianduja Macarons
adapted from Jo the Tart Queen
ingredients:
for the first mixture:
70 grams egg whites
130 grams hazelnut flour
25 grams cocoa powder
150 grams powdered sugar
A few pinches cayenne pepper, depending how spicy you want the cookies
for the second mixture:
60 grams egg whites
Pinch cream of tartar
150 grams granulated sugar
30 grams water
directions:
Preheat oven to 320 degrees.
Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.
Process hazelnut flour, confectioners sugar, cocoa powder, and cayenne together in a food processor until all lumps are gone.
Place in a bowl and fold in the first measure of egg whites until the mixture is mostly combined; it will look crumbly and dry.
Make the second mixture.
Place the egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer with the cream of tartar.
Place the sugar and water in a small saucepan.
Heat the sugar and water over medium heat while the egg whites are whipping.
When the sugar syrup reaches 320 degrees F, the egg whites should be at soft peaks.
Heat the syrup until it reaches 340 degrees F.
With the mixer running, slowly pour the syrup over the meringue.
Allow to whip until the meringue has cooled and is stiff.
Fold the first and second mixtures together until the batter is like lava.
Pipe out circles and leave to dry for 15 minutes.
Bake for 12 minutes, or until cookies lift cleanly off the parchment.

Miniature Cheesecake
adapted from Miette

ingredients:
1/2 pound (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup sugar
1 egg
2 tablespoons half and half
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and put a large kettle on to boil.
Wrap a 6-inch springform pan tightly in aluminum foil and lightly grease the inside; place inside a roasting pan.
Beat cream cheese until soft and fluffy; stream in sugar and beat until well incorporated.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and beat in the egg, half and half, and vanilla.
Pour into prepared pan.
Carefully pour boiling water around the springform into the roasting pan.
Bake for 1 hour and 20 minutes, until set and the center jiggles only slightly.
Allow to cool completely, then freeze prior to placing in the cake.

Strawberry Cayenne Jam
ingredients:
1 quart strawberries
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon pectin (low or no sugar)
Few pinches cayenne pepper
directions:
Chop strawberries finely and place in a wide saucepan with the sugar, pectin, and cayenne.
Cook until thickened and jammy, about 10 minutes.
Purée if desired.


6-inch Chocolate cake
adapted from the back of a Hershey’s cocoa powder
ingredients:
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons flour
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup hot coffee
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease 2 6-inch pans.
Whisk dry ingredients together.
Whisk wet ingredients (except coffee) together, then whisk into the dry ingredients.
Whisk in the hot coffee and pour into prepared pans.
Bake for 25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean.

Italian Meringue Buttercream
Same as here. 1/2 the recipe.

To assemble:
Place one cake on a cake plate.  
Spread with 3 tablespoons jam, then top with the frozen cheesecake.
Spread 3 tablespoons jam on the underside of the second cake, then place it jam side down onto the cheesecake.
Crumb coat with the buttercream.
Pipe 6 swirls on top of the cake, nestle in macarons that have been sandwiched with a little jam (3/4 teaspoon-1 teaspoon per cookie) or extra buttercream.
Serve at room temperature.

Dirrrty

Ahh… Sorry to burst your bubble, but this post is not about Xtina.
I know.  I’m sad about it too.
 
 Let’s talk about my OCD.
Because everybody loves a crazy person, right?
Today, I cleaned my entire KitchenAid with a toothpick.
Cleaned as in burrowed into every nook and cranny and crevice to pry out any old cookie dough, flour, and other nasty residue.
 
It was the single most horrifying and awesome thing ever.

 
Do you clean your appliances often?
Let me tell you right now, it’s probably not often enough.
I’m scarred after today.
 I mean, sheesh, I go at my stand mixer every so often, when the spirit so moves me, with a toothpick and a warm, wet paper towel, but not to the extent that I dug today.
How does all that even get all up in there?
All up in there in the weirdest places.  
Have you ever unscrewed the little button thing where the meat grinder attaches to your stand mixer?
DON’T DO IT.  JUST LEAVE IT.
TRUST ME.
Okay, new subject, same topic.
You know what my favorite commercials are?
Cleaning product commercials.
Ranging from face wash to shower cleaners.
I just love the feeling I get from watching dirty things become magically clean.
I get all of the satisfaction, and don’t have to get my hands dirty.
It’s like a wonderful dream.
 
Glad we talked about this.  I’m done rambling now.
This turned out to be a lot more about dirt than I meant it to be.
See, I was more thinking mud.
Because that’s what I’m sharing today.
Mud pie.
Mississippi Mud Pie, to be exact.
Only, this isn’t any ol’ Mississippi mud pie.  It’s MY Mississippi mud pie, redesigned and shined up a little bit by my imagination.
 
Traditional mud pie is comprised of a chocolate cookie crust and a chocolate pudding filling, topped with marshmallows and/or whipped cream.
(No, no, I know.  Quit your whining.  We all made gross-ass mud pies in puddles after the rain- those are not what I’m preaching about up in here.  You want that, you can walk yoself out of this fine establishment.)
 
I took it to another gut-busting, button-bursting, chocolatized level.
Because yes.
 
(Chocolatize me Cap’n!  Yes, Chocolate Cap’n Crunch is a thing.  I know.)
I was inspired in part by the Baked guys, because I saw a snapshot of their Mississippi Mud Pie and decided to make it my way.
Then, Russell of Chasing Delicious made this amazing Mississippi Mud Cake, and I decided it was high time to get back on the chocolate wagon.
It had been so long.  Summer just doesn’t always seem to be compatible with chocolate, which melts and makes a mess.  I usually stick to fruit.
But here we are, with a giant chocolate pie to talk about.
I’ll talk you through the layers- it’s not as hard as it seems, I promise.
Come your next chocolate craving, make this.  It will satisfy every bone and tooth in your body.

First up: chocolate cookie crust.
I used Oreos, because for some reason all the regular chocolate cookies were out of stock in all of the grocery stores near me.  Whatever.  
Smash up some cookies, add a little seasoning (sugar+salt) and bind the whole thing with a stick o’ butta.  Yum.  
Next: my favorite brownies.
These are a one-pot, one-spoon, super simple affair.
They come together in 5 minutes and bake in 15.

They’re fudgy and perfect to line the base of the crust.  
Simply cut off the top of the brownie base and lay it right in your crust.
Third: milk chocolate mousse.
This stuff has two major steps, but neither is difficult.  
You come away with the smoothest, fluffiest mousse, one that is very light on the tongue but is completely sliceable.
This would usually be a pudding, but I wanted something a little more sophisticated than chocolate puddin’.
A mousse is perfect for this type of molded dessert!  
Spread it over the cut side of the brownies and chill until it’s completely set.
Next: salted chocolate ganache.
Rich, dark, and so, so deeply chocolaty.  Need I say more?
Finally: Italian meringue.
These marshmallow-y clouds on the top of the cake are the perfect foil for all the chocolate they’re sitting on.  Traditionally, these would be marshmallows or whipped cream, but I prefer the lightness and softness of meringue.

One slice of this will do in your chocolate cravings in just the right way.
Mississippi Mud Pie just done grew up.

Mississippi Mud Pie
 
Assemble everything in the order shown here: crust, brownies, mousse, ganache, meringue.
Chocolate Cookie Crust:
ingredients:
2 1/2 cups chocolate cookie crumbs (I used about 40 Oreos, after I had scraped the cream filling out)
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
8 tablespoons butter, melted
directions:
Mix the cookie crumbs with the sugar and salt, then gently stir in the butter.
Press into a 9-inch springform pan and chill until solid, then begin layering.
Classic Brownies
same recipe as here
ingredients:
8 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons shortening
5 ounces bittersweet chocolate
9 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 1/4 cups sugar
3 eggs
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup flour
directions:
In a heavy pot, melt butter, shortening, chocolate, and cocoa powder together.
Once they are all melted, add the sugar and remove from the heat.
Whisk in the eggs vigorously one by one.
Add in the salt and vanilla and whisk.
Finally, stir in the flour.
Spread the batter in a greased and floured 9-inch cake pan and bake for 20 or so minutes, until a tester comes out clean.
To use in the cake, allow to cool completely, then cut off the shiny, crackly top along with about 4 mm of brownie.
Gently place in the bottom of the chilled crust, cut side up.
 
Milk Chocolate Mousse
adapted from Cannelle et Vanille
ingredients:

 

For the pâte à bombé:

 

56 grams sugar

 

14 grams corn syrup

 

28 grams water

 

1 medium egg yolk plus 1 large egg yolk or 1.5 large or extra large egg yolks

 

For the mousse:

 

56 grams (2 ounces) pâte à bombé

 

4 grams gelatin

 

84 grams (3 ounces) milk chocolate

 

8 ounces (1 cup, 235 mL) heavy cream

 

directions:

 

Make the pâte à bombé: place the egg yolks in the bowl of a stand mixer.

 

Begin to whip them on high while you combine the sugar, corn syrup, and water in a small pot and heat to 240 degrees F.

 

Once the syrup comes to temp, slowly drizzle it over the whipped egg yolks while the mixer is running.

 

Allow the yolks to whip until they cool to body temp.

 

Weigh out 56 grams (2 ounces) and set aside.

 

Melt the chocolate gently, then set aside to cool slightly.

 

Sprinkle the gelatin over 2 tablespoons of cold water and set aside for 5 minutes to soften.

 

Set aside 1/4 cup of the heavy cream and whip the other cream to stiff peaks.

 

Once the gelatin is softened, microwave it with the 1/4 cup cream until melted. Gently stir into the cream; the mixture will become loose.

 

Stir in the pâte à bombé and the cooled melted chocolate, and gently mix until homogeneous.

 

Mixture will be loose.

 

Pour over the brownie in the crust and refrigerate until set.

 

Salted Chocolate Ganache
ingredients:
230 grams bittersweet chocolate
130 grams heavy cream
40 grams corn syrup
Small pinch kosher salt
directions:
Heat the chocolate until half melted in a microwave or over a double boiler.
Add the cream, syrup, and salt and heat until the chocolate is 2/3 melted, about 20 more seconds on medium power in a microwave.
Stir gently, increasing speed, until the mixture is shiny and homogeneous.
Use right away- spread over the chilled and firm mousse.
 
Small-Batch Italian Meringue
ingredients:
38 grams egg whites

 

Pinch cream of tartar

75 grams sugar
25 grams water
Directions:
Place egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer with the cream of tartar.
Combine the water and sugar in a small pot and bring to a boil.
Meanwhile, whip the egg whites.
When the syrup reaches 245 degrees F, the egg whites should be at soft to stiff peaks.
Slowly pour the hot syrup over the meringue with the mixer running. 
Allow to whip until completely cool, then pipe onto the cake.

Kawaii!

^.^
Hai!

I’m home home home after driving 12 hours in the past 32.
Needless to say, after shoveling leftover, cold Indian food into my mouth late last night just after arriving home, I fell right asleep, snuggled deep into my comfortable bed.

I woke up this morning and peered in my fridge- surprise!
My mama had made lots of yummy jams from all the fruit we had picked on Saturday.
Raspberry raspberry raspberry sour cherry and a vat of peach and lemon thyme on the stove, simmering away.
Swirled into some yogurt- a lovely way to wake up and greet the day.
Now, I’ve spent the last two hours taking an alcohol education program (online) that’s required for my school and taking instagram videos of my kitten.
(I’ve never done an instagram video before… though since its installation, my Vine has fallen to the wayside.)
Not the loveliest way to greet the day, but whatever.
 
I’ve been meaning to write this blog post for a while.
I can’t find very inspired words.
I don’t know if an in-depth post is really necessary with this cake- I mean, what can I say, I look at it and can’t help but smile… It’s just so goshdarn cute.
This is the first trial of what will probably-maybe-definitely become an obsession.  
I think deco roll cakes are just so, well, kawaii. 
They’re Japanese-born, mainly thanks to Junko, who has written a few books about them and whose roll cakes are incredible.
 
Unfortunately, I don’t speak Japanese, so I used someone else’s adaptation of the Google translated recipe on Junko’s blog and I used a joconde imprime decor paste (used for joconde, or almond flour, sponge cakes).  
It didn’t come out quite how I wanted, as the imprime decor paste didn’t meld well with the actual sponge batter.
I’m going to hunt for some more deco sponge cake recipes/techniques to try, so that the decorations will be more united with the cake.
 
I made other adaptations that I liked- I added a vanilla bean Italian meringue on the interior instead of the traditional whipped cream, because I just love that marshmallow-y fluff, and it added sweetness without being overpowering.
Some notes: if you aren’t familiar with sponge cakes, don’t do the decorations.
Instead, focus on learning how to make the (two) batters and roll the cake without cracking it.
The trick is to use a couple liberally sugared towels to roll the cake up before filling it.
Also, wait till it’s cool!
 
Deco-Roll– Trial 1
 
for the joconde decor paste:
adapted from Bake In Paris
ingredients:
100 grams unsalted butter
100 grams confectioner’s sugar
100 grams egg whites
14 grams cornstarch
96 grams AP flour
food coloring 
directions:
Cream the butter and sugar together for at least 3 minutes, until fluffy, shiny, and pale.
Add in the egg whites; mixture will appear to curdle.
Mix as well as you can to get the mixture as homogeneous as possible; it won’t be completely mixed.
Scrape down the sides of the bowl.
Stir the cornstarch and flour together and add into the mixture. 
Beat on high until just combined.
Divide the mixture into 4 100-gram measures and tint as desired.
Pipe your designs onto a greased, parchment paper lined 15×10 sheet pan (jelly roll pan) as desired; I piped small polka dots.
Freeze for at least 15 minutes, or until designs are completely hard.
Meanwhile, prepare sponge batter.
 
for the sponge batter:
ingredients:
part A: egg yolk batter
3 egg yolks
30 grams sugar
60 grams milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
40 grams canola or vegetable oil
10 grams cornstarch
70 grams AP flour
part B: meringue
3 egg whites
30 grams sugar
big pinch cream of tartar
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine the egg yolks and sugar in a bowl (not your stand mixer bowl, if you have one!  Use a whisk or electric mixer for the yolks and a stand mixer for the meringue).
Place the whites (for the meringue) with the sugar and cream of tartar in the bowl of your stand mixer (if you do not have a stand mixer, simply prepare the yolk batter first, then use your whisk or mixer to prepare the meringue second.  If you happen to have both an electric and stand mixer, you can prepare both components of the batter at the same time.) and begin to beat on medium speed (about a 4 on a KitchenAid.)
Beat the yolks on high or whisk briskly for 3 minutes, until doubled or tripled in size and very pale.
Add in the milk, oil, and vanilla and beat just to combine.
Check on your egg whites; once they reach stiff peaks, turn the mixer off.
Sift the cornstarch and flour over the egg yolk mixture and fold to mix.
Now, bring the two batters together.
Take 1/3 of your meringue and gently mix it into the egg yolk batter with a spatula.
Once combined, fold the rest of the meringue into the batter gently.
Once it is all mixed, remove your sheet pan from the freezer and gently spread the batter over the piped design.
Bake for 12 minutes.
While the sponge is baking, prepare yourself to flip it and roll it.
 
for flipping and rolling:
you will need:
a larger sheet pan, or a cutting board
2 dish towels that are larger than your cake
plenty of powdered sugar
a wire cooling rack
directions:
Lay out one of the towels on top of the sheet pan or cutting board and sift powdered sugar all over it, very liberally.
Lay out your other towel on a countertop and sift powdered sugar over it, very liberally.
Once your cake comes out of the oven, you will flip it onto the sheet pan or cutting board that has been lined with the towel.  
You will then peel the parchment paper off of the cake; you will see the baked-in designs- this will be the outside of the roll.
You will then take the sheet pan/cutting board and flip the cake over onto the other prepared towel that has been covered in powdered sugar.
You will then carefully roll the cake up in the towel, secure it by twisting the ends slightly, and place it on the wire cooling rack to cool completely.
It is best to run over the steps in your mind before doing them so that you do not panic when the sheet cake is warm, because time is of the essence when rolling.
Rolling a warm cake will prevent cracks, but stay cool and composed.
Once the cake is cooled, you will unroll and release it from the towel and fill it with meringue.
 
for the vanilla bean Italian meringue:
ingredients:
75 grams egg whites (about 2)
pinch cream of tartar
150 grams sugar
50 grams water
scrapings of 1/2 a vanilla bean
directions:
Place the egg whites and cream of tartar in the clean bowl of your stand mixer and turn it on to a speed around 3-5 on a KitchenAid.
Meanwhile, place the sugar and water in a heavy bottomed pan fitted with a thermometer.
Heat the sugar syrup until it reaches 245 degrees F, at which point the whites should have reached stiff peaks.
Slowly pour the syrup into the whites with the mixer running; allow to whip until the meringue reaches body temperature.
Sometime while the mixer is still running, add in the vanilla seeds.
Once the meringue is cooled, spread a thick layer over the interior of the cake roll.
Roll up the cake and pipe some decorative meringue on top.
Enjoy!