Brace Yo’self

Treat Brace yo’self.
 
Forgive me.  This one is a mouthful, in all senses of the word.
I guess I might as well start out by telling you what you’re looking at, because otherwise I fear you may feel unsure of my sanity.
Gird your loins.
This is a vanilla bean marshmallow, Greek yogurt cheesecake with a peanut butter base, torched marshmallows, and homemade potato chips.
 
These flavors called to me as I stared at a big ole pile of homemade vanilla bean marshmallows and graham crackers that I had leftover from a picnic yesterday (I’ll share some pictures etc. in the next few days.).
I keep a running note of minute-to-minute, day-to-day, random inspirations on my phone.
It includes eclectic and esoteric things like “honey nut” and “coconut kumquat” to, lo and behold, “homemade potato chips with peanut butter- cupcakes?
So obviously, this is not cupcakes.  But those two flavors are featured in this cake.
Victory!
Savory, fatty peanut butter combines with silky cheesecake and soft, puffy marshmallows, only to be highlighted with über crispy, salty chips.
This cheesecake is a no-bake deal.  You can whip it together in 20 minutes.
It has to chill for a while, but that’s down time.
You could run errands or walk your dog or clean your kitchen (none of which I did), or drink milky green tea while watching the last two episodes of Food Network Star (cue glazed eyes), and feign sleep when someone discovers you, which I may or may not have done.
Anyways, you have some time.  A minimum of 2 hours.  So plan ahead.
The nice thing about this is that you can make this way ahead and let it hang out in the fridge before unmolding and decorating it.
I would say a full day ahead would be totally fine.
You don’t want to put the chips on too early, you little eager beaver you, because they will get soggy and limp.
Soggy and limp are not two of the adjectives I ever want to hear describing any cheesecake.
Ever.
So chill with the chips until you’re ready to serve.
This thang is not so rich as one might think: there is no butter, only a smidgen of cream, it’s made with 0% Greek yogurt, light sour cream, and neufchâtel.
It slices very well and is light and creamy.
The textures are out of this world… I can only think of adjectives to describe this cheesecake.
I have trouble forming full, coherent sentences.
Crispy, salty, fatty, soft, creamy, silky, sweet, savory, and just a touch bitter (torched mallows).
One last thing: let’s be honest,  you don’t have to make your own marshmallows and potato chips to make this cake.
(I garnished with regular mini marshmallows!)
Go out and buy a package of mini mallows and some Cape Cod potato chips and go to town.
You’ll thank me later.
(You can add in vanilla bean or extract if you use regular marshmallows.)
Also, I realize this post was all about food and kind of one note.
Never fear, I’ll be back before you even want me to be, bitchin’ and whinin’ about my life as per usual.

Crazed Cheesecake
(Vanilla Bean Marshmallow Greek Yogurt Cheesecake with Potato Chips and PB Crust)
makes one 6×3 inch cheesecake or one 9×2 inch cheesecake
ingredients:
3 ounces graham crackers (I used homemade, you could easily sub more Nutter Butters)
3 ounces (about 6 cookies) Nutter Butter or other peanut butter sandwich cookies (leave the filling in)
2 ounces (heaping 2 tablespoons) peanut butter
16 ounces cream cheese (I used half neufchâtel)
150 grams (3/4 cup) sugar
8 ounces (1 cup) 0% Greek yogurt
3 ounces (1/3 cup) light or full-fat sour cream
2 ounces (1/4 cup) cream
2 teaspoons gelatin
7 ounces marshmallows, melted and still warm (about 1 cup when melted)
Garnish: toasted marshmallows, potato chips
directions:
Lightly grease your springform pan (either a 6×3 or 9×2).
In the bowl of a food processor, process your cookies and crackers, leaving the filling in the peanut butter cookies.
Meanwhile, melt the peanut butter in a microwave or over a stove.
Pour the still-fluid PB into the food processor and pulse until the mixture sticks together when pressed.
Press into the bottom of your pan and place in the fridge to chill while you make the filling.
Whip the cream cheese with a stand or hand mixer until it is light and fluffy.
Add in the sugar and whip for 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, sprinkle the gelatin over the top of 2 tablespoons of cold water and set aside for 5 minutes.
To the cream cheese, add the yogurt and sour cream and beat until combined; scrape the sides of the bowl.
After the gelatin has softened for 5 minutes, add it to the cream and microwave on high until it melts, about 20 seconds.
Add the cream mixture to the cream cheese mixture and beat on high.
Scrape in the still-warm marshmallows (you may need to reheat them a bit to get them nice and liquidy) and beat on high until everything comes together.
The batter will seem a little liquidy; this is fine.
Pour the mixture into the prepared crust/pan and place in the refrigerator to set, about 2 hours.
Once the cake is set, garnish how you like.
It cuts best with a clean knife, so wipe in between cuts.

Kawaii!

^.^
Hai!

I’m home home home after driving 12 hours in the past 32.
Needless to say, after shoveling leftover, cold Indian food into my mouth late last night just after arriving home, I fell right asleep, snuggled deep into my comfortable bed.

I woke up this morning and peered in my fridge- surprise!
My mama had made lots of yummy jams from all the fruit we had picked on Saturday.
Raspberry raspberry raspberry sour cherry and a vat of peach and lemon thyme on the stove, simmering away.
Swirled into some yogurt- a lovely way to wake up and greet the day.
Now, I’ve spent the last two hours taking an alcohol education program (online) that’s required for my school and taking instagram videos of my kitten.
(I’ve never done an instagram video before… though since its installation, my Vine has fallen to the wayside.)
Not the loveliest way to greet the day, but whatever.
 
I’ve been meaning to write this blog post for a while.
I can’t find very inspired words.
I don’t know if an in-depth post is really necessary with this cake- I mean, what can I say, I look at it and can’t help but smile… It’s just so goshdarn cute.
This is the first trial of what will probably-maybe-definitely become an obsession.  
I think deco roll cakes are just so, well, kawaii. 
They’re Japanese-born, mainly thanks to Junko, who has written a few books about them and whose roll cakes are incredible.
 
Unfortunately, I don’t speak Japanese, so I used someone else’s adaptation of the Google translated recipe on Junko’s blog and I used a joconde imprime decor paste (used for joconde, or almond flour, sponge cakes).  
It didn’t come out quite how I wanted, as the imprime decor paste didn’t meld well with the actual sponge batter.
I’m going to hunt for some more deco sponge cake recipes/techniques to try, so that the decorations will be more united with the cake.
 
I made other adaptations that I liked- I added a vanilla bean Italian meringue on the interior instead of the traditional whipped cream, because I just love that marshmallow-y fluff, and it added sweetness without being overpowering.
Some notes: if you aren’t familiar with sponge cakes, don’t do the decorations.
Instead, focus on learning how to make the (two) batters and roll the cake without cracking it.
The trick is to use a couple liberally sugared towels to roll the cake up before filling it.
Also, wait till it’s cool!
 
Deco-Roll– Trial 1
 
for the joconde decor paste:
adapted from Bake In Paris
ingredients:
100 grams unsalted butter
100 grams confectioner’s sugar
100 grams egg whites
14 grams cornstarch
96 grams AP flour
food coloring 
directions:
Cream the butter and sugar together for at least 3 minutes, until fluffy, shiny, and pale.
Add in the egg whites; mixture will appear to curdle.
Mix as well as you can to get the mixture as homogeneous as possible; it won’t be completely mixed.
Scrape down the sides of the bowl.
Stir the cornstarch and flour together and add into the mixture. 
Beat on high until just combined.
Divide the mixture into 4 100-gram measures and tint as desired.
Pipe your designs onto a greased, parchment paper lined 15×10 sheet pan (jelly roll pan) as desired; I piped small polka dots.
Freeze for at least 15 minutes, or until designs are completely hard.
Meanwhile, prepare sponge batter.
 
for the sponge batter:
ingredients:
part A: egg yolk batter
3 egg yolks
30 grams sugar
60 grams milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
40 grams canola or vegetable oil
10 grams cornstarch
70 grams AP flour
part B: meringue
3 egg whites
30 grams sugar
big pinch cream of tartar
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine the egg yolks and sugar in a bowl (not your stand mixer bowl, if you have one!  Use a whisk or electric mixer for the yolks and a stand mixer for the meringue).
Place the whites (for the meringue) with the sugar and cream of tartar in the bowl of your stand mixer (if you do not have a stand mixer, simply prepare the yolk batter first, then use your whisk or mixer to prepare the meringue second.  If you happen to have both an electric and stand mixer, you can prepare both components of the batter at the same time.) and begin to beat on medium speed (about a 4 on a KitchenAid.)
Beat the yolks on high or whisk briskly for 3 minutes, until doubled or tripled in size and very pale.
Add in the milk, oil, and vanilla and beat just to combine.
Check on your egg whites; once they reach stiff peaks, turn the mixer off.
Sift the cornstarch and flour over the egg yolk mixture and fold to mix.
Now, bring the two batters together.
Take 1/3 of your meringue and gently mix it into the egg yolk batter with a spatula.
Once combined, fold the rest of the meringue into the batter gently.
Once it is all mixed, remove your sheet pan from the freezer and gently spread the batter over the piped design.
Bake for 12 minutes.
While the sponge is baking, prepare yourself to flip it and roll it.
 
for flipping and rolling:
you will need:
a larger sheet pan, or a cutting board
2 dish towels that are larger than your cake
plenty of powdered sugar
a wire cooling rack
directions:
Lay out one of the towels on top of the sheet pan or cutting board and sift powdered sugar all over it, very liberally.
Lay out your other towel on a countertop and sift powdered sugar over it, very liberally.
Once your cake comes out of the oven, you will flip it onto the sheet pan or cutting board that has been lined with the towel.  
You will then peel the parchment paper off of the cake; you will see the baked-in designs- this will be the outside of the roll.
You will then take the sheet pan/cutting board and flip the cake over onto the other prepared towel that has been covered in powdered sugar.
You will then carefully roll the cake up in the towel, secure it by twisting the ends slightly, and place it on the wire cooling rack to cool completely.
It is best to run over the steps in your mind before doing them so that you do not panic when the sheet cake is warm, because time is of the essence when rolling.
Rolling a warm cake will prevent cracks, but stay cool and composed.
Once the cake is cooled, you will unroll and release it from the towel and fill it with meringue.
 
for the vanilla bean Italian meringue:
ingredients:
75 grams egg whites (about 2)
pinch cream of tartar
150 grams sugar
50 grams water
scrapings of 1/2 a vanilla bean
directions:
Place the egg whites and cream of tartar in the clean bowl of your stand mixer and turn it on to a speed around 3-5 on a KitchenAid.
Meanwhile, place the sugar and water in a heavy bottomed pan fitted with a thermometer.
Heat the sugar syrup until it reaches 245 degrees F, at which point the whites should have reached stiff peaks.
Slowly pour the syrup into the whites with the mixer running; allow to whip until the meringue reaches body temperature.
Sometime while the mixer is still running, add in the vanilla seeds.
Once the meringue is cooled, spread a thick layer over the interior of the cake roll.
Roll up the cake and pipe some decorative meringue on top.
Enjoy!
 

Swiss Myths

Nothing bad can come of a foodstuff with the word “butter” directly incorporated into its name.
Let’s talk meringue buttercream, people.
Meringue buttercreams are used by professional bakers and cake makers because of their stability, fluffiness, shine, and taste.
When you first taste a meringue buttercream, you will be amazed by the lightness of it.
They are, by far, my favorite way to finish cakes.
American buttercreams, which are a simple combination of butter, powdered sugar, and a liquid, become crusty as the butter dries out and are always too sweet and cloying for my taste.
(I have a common opinion with Rosie of Sweetapolita, however; I agree that cupcakes can be very delightful with a good American buttercream.)
 
Cooked frostings, often called heritage or boiled frostings, made by cooking flour and milk to sub for part of the butter, lack the richness that I think an icing should have and can turn out grainy.
Bloggers extol the virtues of SMB- Swiss meringue buttercream.
I wholly agree; however, SMB can be a real pain in the ass.
First of all, it involves making a Swiss meringue, for which I have no patience.
You have to stand, over a stove, whisking egg whites and sugar in a double boiler as they gently come to temperature and the sugar dissolves.
There’s little hands-off time during this period.  You don’t want the eggs to scramble.
(I hate double boilers!)
 
Whenever I make SMB, I notice a nasty, albeit minuscule  strip of cooked egg whites and sugar right at the top of the mass; these are tiny little flecks that I didn’t sweep up in time, and because the sides of the bowl become very hot from the steam, those tiny flecks cook quickly and become crusty. 
(They’re not omelette-y or eggy or anything, because they’re mainly sugar.  Just crusty.)
I don’t like that.  At all.
 
I don’t want to have to deal with that every time I make a buttercream.
In fact, I don’t ever want to have to deal with a crusty ring of anything.
Thankyouverymuch.
So all this talk about SMB being the best?  I’m here to debunk it.
I prefer the easier, fluffier, and glossier alternative:
SMB’s cousin, or sister, or whoever, Italian meringue buttercream.
Here’s why.
First off, for all the reasons why any egg-based buttercream is great.
1. They are not as sweet as an American buttercream.    
Without all the sugar coating your tongue, flavors are intensified and cleaner.
 
2. They store beautifully.
Whether it’s in the fridge or the freezer, they are wonderful to store and use later, so never think twice if you cannot downsize a recipe and you end up with extra.
There are always uses for buttercream, and there’s nothing more wonderful than pre-made delicious buttercream when you need to frost a couple cupcakes but can’t be bothered to make another batch.
3.  They’re simple.
See that photo right above?  Do any of those four ingredients scare you?
No?  Really? Eggs, butter, sugar, and lemon juice don’t scare you?
Hmm.  Then I guess European-style buttercreams shouldn’t either.
 
4.  They’re not made with Crisco.  Ever.
Buttercream is buttercream for a reason.
Ahem.  
Then, the reasons why I choose IMB over any other European buttercream.

1.  It’s not as rich (or wasteful) as French buttercream.
French buttercream is made with egg yolks in the same manner as Italian meringue- whipping eggs while pouring sugar syrup over them.
All those yolks make for a very, very rich buttercream: almost too rich for me.
Yolks are used in custards, curds, puddings, and ice cream, and as a result, I rarely, if ever, have extra yolks.
Yolks also do not keep well and I always have egg whites on hand from said used yolks.
Egg whites keep well in an airtight container in the fridge for ages.
If I were to make French buttercream as often as I do IMB, I’d be drowning in egg whites.
Absolutely over my head.  

And furthermore, the best use for these egg whites would be an IMB.  It’s the circle of life.
 
2.  It’s quicker and has far less downtime than German buttercream.
German buttercream is based on a thick custard which is allowed to cool and congeal completely, then has butter whipped in.
German buttercream is awesome- don’t get me wrong.  
It tastes like ice cream, because it basically is ice cream, just not frozen and with a whole lot of butter whipped in.
Like ice cream, but better.
More butter= more better.
 
Here’s the thing: in order for the butter to emulsify with the custard, which is already a feat, when you think about it, because custards are already pretty high fat and you’re just shoving a brick of butter into that and expecting to get frosting to come out, you need the custard to be cool.
Like, completely cool.  Like, stick it in your fridge and wait a few hours.
I ain’t got time for dat.
Seriously… once you get your IMB down pat, you can even start to cut time on the relatively short prep time because you’ll be able to add colder butter to a warmer meringue and still have it all work out perfectly.
German buttercream?  Not so much.  You must wait.
I am bad at waiting.
Thus, IMB wins this battle.  Sorry, Germany.
 
3.  Finally, in my humble opinion, Italian meringue trumps Swiss meringue.  On a lot of accounts, enough to convince me that IMB>SMB. 
Italian meringue is quicker.
SMB requires patience to prevent scrambled eggs.  
You have to cook the eggs, then whip the meringue.
With IMB, you cook the eggs while making the meringue.  The whole process of making the buttercream takes only a slight bit longer than making a meringue.

IMB is wonderful because you can incorporate a wealth of flavors right in, by infusing the sugar syrup with another ingredient.
For example, when making a lemon IMB, you can use lemon juice to make the syrup, thus giving the final product a lovely and prominent lemon tang, whereas with an SMB, you must use lemon extract, or whip in a lemon curd (yet another time-costly step) as there’s no direct way to incorporate substantial amounts of liquids.
 
Italian meringues are much more stable than Swiss meringues.
They’re thicker, glossier, and less prone to weeping than Swiss meringues, because they have been fully cooked and stabilized by the hot sugar.
I have had instances where my SMB weeps (little droplets of water escaping from the emulsion and beading on the cake, causing the frosting to separate and slough off, as well as look incredibly unappetizing), but never, ever, has an IMB wept, in mine own experiences, of course.
Okay.  Have I got you sold on Italian meringue buttercream?
Great.
Now how the heck do we make it?
Realtalk:  you’re going to be a little put off when you read any recipe for IMB.
Recipe writers (myself included, sorrynotsorry), are all like…
 meanwhile, while this boiling hot sugar syrup is burbling and bubbling like a cauldron, whip up some egg whites real quick and they should be just perfectly soft but yet stable when you pour this boiling hot sugar over the whipping attachment and try not to hit the whisk because it will shoot syrup straight into your eye or the back of your knee or wherever is most painful and good luck see you on the other side don’t forget the sugar syrup is hot…
 
It’s a load of cra mumbo jumbo.  And the timing thing really throws people off.
Don’t let it throw you off!
I promise, it is not stressful to make a successful IMB, and when people bite into your cake and look up at you with starry eyes and a full mouth and smile, you will be drawn back to make more buttercream.  I just know it.
It’s irresistible for both the baker and the consumer.
Win-win!
So here’s how we do this.
(I’m going to do all of this in American volume measurements to make it more accessible. 
 Generally, however, I do stick to weight with IMB.  Whatever floats your boat, guys.)
 
First, get your mise en place, well, en place.
Gather everything you’re going to need.
Here’s a checklist for a lemon Italian meringue, which is what we’re making today for that cake way the hell up there past all those boring shots of my mixer:
 
1 lemon (2 lemon, red lemon, blue lemon…)
1 cup of sugar
a pinch of cream of tartar
4 egg whites
12 ounces (24 tablespoons, 3 sticks) butter, softened but cool and cut into pieces
measuring cup
thermometer
small-medium heavy bottomed pan
stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment
 
Squeeze dat lemon!  
Get 1/3 cup of juice in your measuring cup and place it straight into your saucepan, right in the middle.  
Now, take your sugar and pour that into the middle of the saucepan as well, right in the middle of your puddle of lemon juice.  
Avoid letting any dry sugar touch the sides of the pan.  This will prevent crystallization.
Place the egg whites and the pinch of cream of tartar into the bowl of your stand mixer.
Start your engines.  On low-medium speed (4-6 on a kitchenaid), begin to whip your egg whites.
Great.  Now ignore them for a little while.

Let’s turn our attention back to the pot; place it on your stove and turn the heat on to a medium-high setting.
Place your thermometer in the pot.
Now, wait.  The sugar will dissolve and the syrup will begin to bubble.
We’re waiting until it hits 245 degrees F.
 
Look back at your egg whites.  How fluffy are they?
When the syrup hits 200, they should be all foam- no thick, liquid egg whites left.
When it hits 240, they should be soft peaks- there should be definite peaks, but they shouldn’t look dry or stiff.
Here’s a secret.  I’ve accidentally added the sugar syrup to over-whipped egg whites, ones that are already at stiff peaks, and under-whipped egg whites, ones that are only beginning to hold peaks.
It works out.  I promise.
Even better?  If you’re nervous that one of the two horses is winning the race by too large a margin, rein it in.  You can turn down the heat on the syrup, or even take it off the heat for 30 seconds.  You can slow down the mixer or even stop it completely.
It works out.  I promise.
Now, your syrup has come to temp and your egg whites are at soft peaks.  Brilliant!
Carefully pour the syrup into the measuring cup.
With the mixer on medium speed (4-5 on a kitchenaid), drizzle the syrup over the meringue, about 1 1/2 inches from the side of the bowl.
That’s the sweet spot; however, if you don’t feel comfortable pouring the sugar with the mixer whipping, don’t.
Instead, turn the mixer off, lift the attachment, drizzle a couple teaspoons on top of the meringue, lower the attachment, and whip on high for 10 seconds.  
Continue to repeat this until all the syrup is gone.  
I think you will quickly find yourself pouring the syrup with the mixer whipping; it is much less tedious.
You’re almost there!
Whip the meringue on high until it has cooled to body temperature; you can feel the sides of the bowl as an indicator.
If your mixer is huffing and puffing and can’t possibly last, just turn it off after 5 or so minutes and let the meringue cool for 10, then whip on high again.
Once your meringue is at body temp, add in your butter a few pieces at a time.
 
You are now going to enter the 5 stages of making an egg-based buttercream.
Here’s the remedy.  Stop freaking out, and keep whipping.
Do.  Not.  Stop.  Whipping.
Don’t you dare touch that lever.
I’m watching you.
Keep whipping.
 
1. (Blissful) Ignorance
When you’re first throwing your butter into the bowl, you could care less.  
You’re not even really paying attention- Real Housewives of Miami is on!  
 
Hey, you throw that butter in there man, the commercial break is over.
Just let it whip.
 
2. Denial
Return to the bowl, la dee da… Oh.  Oh.  Wait.  It looks like my meringue has fallen.
No… the butter must just be on the top.  Right?
I worked too hard to get that meringue to be all fluffy and glossy to have it fall down on me now!
That’s not a fallen meringue, right?!?
Wait.  No.  Babe.  Wait.  Babe! Babe! No!  No! Babe! Wait!  Babe, wait!  Wait, babe!
 
Relax: your meringue is supposed to fall.  That’s the point of this step.  
A fallen meringue is normal and I promise all your baking friends’ meringues have fallen, too.
 
3. Panic (re: curdling)
Now what?  Well, your buttercream looks really curdled.  
There are all these nasty little butter pieces.  
It looks like you should trash the whole shebang.
Definitely trash it.  Oh my gosh.  What do I do?  Look at those curds- what are those?!
 
Do.  Not.  Stop.  Whipping. 
A curdled look just indicates that your butter was a touch too cold.
If you keep whipping, the temperatures will become more evenly distributed and the curdling will disappear.
Keep whipping.
 
4. Anger (re: liquidity)
Okay, the curds have gone away.  Now it looks like I have a glaze type deal going on in my mixing bowl.
Why is it so damn thin?  I thought this was supposed to be some fluffy s#*!.
I swear to GOD I am never going back on that dumb blog.  Tuh!
 
Surprise!  You know what the solution is going to be?
If you guessed “keep whipping,” you’re getting somewhere.
Liquid is normal.  The butter will soon emulsify.
You’ll hear a noise while the frosting is thin, a splashy sort of mixing noise.
When the butter starts to emulsify, the noise will thicken, and become a whap-whap-whap noise; this will indicate that your buttercream is getting some body and oomph!
Keep whipping until you hear that noise!
 
5. Satisfaction
You frost that cake, you sassy little minx!  Look at you and your fluffy, shiny, gorgeous IMB.
You rock.  You roll.
You should be the next Food Network Star looking all professional with that buttercream.
Mmmhmmm.
Moral of the story: making a meringue buttercream is not that bad.  And it’s totally worth it.

You can use it to frost a cake like the one I have here today, which was made to celebrate my dad and also my parents’ anniversary, which was a few days back.
(27 years!  You go, Glen Coco!)

It’s a strawberry cake sandwiched with the lightest white cake imaginable, and surrounded with a thick, luscious layer of lemon IMB.
It’s a striking cake.  It screams summer.
And it’s great practice for some Italian meringue buttercream frosting.

A few words, then I’ll shut up, because this post is long enough already-god who do I think I am trying to make you read this long post while you have all that work that’s sitting by the wayside crazy food temptress blogger lady.

Straight out of the mixing bowl, IMB is perfect for crumb coats and smooth finishes.
Refrigerate it for 15 or so minutes to firm it up a bit in order to pipe roses and the like.

Congratulations to my father, you are an inspiration.
And to the both of my two wonderful parents, I like you guys alright. 

Hoo!  Boy, I need a nap and a piece of cake stat.
 

Berries and Cream Cake
for the strawberry cake:
heavily adapted from A Dash of Sass
ingredients:
1 1/2 cups AP flour
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
scant 1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 scant cup frozen strawberries
1 cup sugar
3 ounces (6 tablespoons, 3/4 stick) butter
3 eggs
splash vanilla
splash strawberry extract, optional
rose colored food coloring, optional
directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F and grease and flour two 6-inch pans.
Stir the flour, baking powder, and salt together.
Microwave the strawberries until they are falling apart and have released their juice, about 1 minute.
Puree the berries and measure out 3/4 cup.
Cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
Add in the eggs one at a tim.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add the strawberry and vanilla extracts and food coloring, if desired.
Add the strawberry puree and mix on high until well blended.
Add in the flour and mix until homogeneous.

Pour into prepared pans and bake for 20-25 minutes, until a tester comes out clean.
for the white cake:
adapted from i am baker
ingredients:
1 cup AP flour
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
6 tablespoons butter, cut into pieces
1/2 cup milk
3 egg whites
splash vanilla extract
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and grease and flour two 6-inch pans.
Mix the flour, cornstarch, salt, baking powder, and sugar together.
Mix the milk, egg whites, and vanilla together in a measuring cup.
Add the butter and mix until most of the butter is broken up; add in half of the milk mixture and allow to beat on high until everything is incorporated (batter will still be very thick).
Add in the second half of the milk mixture and mix to combine.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and mix again.
Pour batter into prepared pans and bake for 20-25 minutes, until the tops are golden and a tester comes out clean.
for the lemon Italian meringue buttercream:
adapted from Sky High
ingredients:
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
1 cup sugar
4 egg whites
pinch cream of tartar
12 ounces (3 sticks) butter, softened but cool and cut into pieces
directions:
Place the lemon juice in a heavy bottomed pan and add the sugar to the center of the pan.
Place the egg whites and cream of tartar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment.
Start to whip the egg whites.
Meanwhile, cook the sugar syrup: without stirring, allow the syrup to come up to 245 degrees F, about 5 minutes.
Keep an eye on the egg whites; when your syrup reaches 240 degrees F, your egg whites should be soft peaks.
Once your syrup comes up to temperature, remove it from the heat and pour it into a measuring cup.
With the mixer running on medium speed, slowly and carefully drizzle the hot syrup over the meringue.
Try to avoid hitting the whisk attachment directly, as this will cause splattering on the sides of the bowl.
Once all the syrup has been added, whip on high for 10 or so minutes, until the meringue is cooled to body temperature.
Once the meringue has cooled, add in the butter a few pieces at a time while whipping on high.

After adding all the butter, the frosting may be liquid-like; keep whipping until it thickens up and becomes fluffy.
(You will hear a sudden change in the sound of the mixer; this indicates that the frosting is thickening up.)
to assemble:
Place one of the cooled strawberry cakes on your cake plate or other serving dish.
Place 1/4 cup of frosting over the cake and spread out; add a few more tablespoons if you need to.
Place a cooled white cake over that layer and repeat.
Repeat with the next two cakes.
Thinly frost the cake to ensure that no crumbs will escape.
Add the rest of the frosting to the top of the cake and smooth it out, moving down the sides to create crisp edges.
Finish as desired; serve at a cool room temperature.

Merry Happy

March Hare: A very merry unbirthday. 

Alice: To me? 

Mad Hatter: To you! 

March Hare: A very merry unbirthday. 

Alice: For me? 

Mad Hatter: For you! Now blow the candle out, my dear, and make your wish come true!

March Hare & Mad Hatter: A very merry unbirthday to you!


Today, La Pêche Fraîche turns 1.
That’s right y’all; we’re celebrating a blogiversary right here.  Right now.
And we’re doing it properly: with a very large, opulent cake.

It’s hard for me to believe that one year ago, May 30th, 2012, at 9:11 PM, I first hit publish.

I hit publish and I didn’t know what was going to happen.

I had a blog and I didn’t know what that really meant.

I sent a post into this space, my corner of the internet, and waited.
For what, I had no idea.

Now, 80 posts later, I’m not sure if I have any clearer of an idea.

It’s an interesting experience, to look back on this past year, to browse through the many posts, reminiscing (and cringing).

Many things have changed, some for the better, some the worse.

People have moved in and out of my life;
things I always took for granted as constants fell away: cliffs sheared off, leaving me teetering on the edge;
new experiences, new relationships, have nested snugly, precariously, on the crags and crannies left behind;
triumphs have been trumpeted, flags left proudly waving on distant planets;
losses have been suffered, sending me cowering in a corner, covered with tears and blood;
I survived even those which I thought I could not.

This has been a year of change, of growth, of progression, of learning.
This blog makes that uncomfortably clear.

Just looking back at some really terribly formatted, I mean really awful, posts and photographs, I cringe, yes, but also laugh and enjoy them, as embarrassed as I feel.
There have been times, I’ll admit it, when I have wanted to go back through and re-format all the oldest posts, but I refrained.
That’s a rabbit hole which this little girl is most certainly not falling into.
This blog is a reflection of my journey, in life and photography and pastry.

I would rather celebrate and embrace that than change it and sand off all the rough edges.
Those rough edges are, um… charismatic.  Or something.  I don’t know.
Actually, I would really like to sand off those edges.  I just don’t have the time or energy.

Oh and, by the way? Don’t you dare look back at those older posts.  Stay right here.
Eyes on the prize.

So anyways!  Right!  It’s celebration time!
Look!  Cake!
My kind of cake, specifically.  Yep.  Greedy and selfish.  That would be me my tastebuds!

My favorite flavors and components are incorporated into this cake.
It’s a brown sugar and deep, rich chocolate marble cake, filled with a tart, buttery passion fruit curd, generously frosted with a barely sweet and wonderfully tongue-coating Italian meringue buttercream.
The filling and frosting of my choice, as in, my favorites!  Absolute favorites.  I could eat ’em straight.  And I did.
Things are getting real wild, as you can tell.

This is a special cake; it does take a bit of effort and time (this cake took me 4 hours start to finish, which is a long time for me… like a really long time), but it’s worth it.
It’s easy on the eyes and the tastebuds.
It’s a celebration cake, in all senses of the word.

Let me just say…

I am grateful for my family and my friends, those whom I keep so very close to my heart, who support me and kick me in the butt, albeit occasionally unnecessarily.

I am grateful for the chance to blather on and on while standing atop this blog soapbox, to share what I love most in this world (no, not whining.  Pastry.).

I am grateful, above all, for you lovely readers, my dears, mes chéries, because it’s your clicks and comments that keep this blog going; it’s because of you that this blog gives me any sense of satisfaction, and, honestly, it’s for you.

This blog is for you.

Bon anniversaire, La Pêche Fraîche!  

Et mes chers lecteurs, je vous remercie de tout coeur.

Je vous adore.

Je vraiment vous adore.

My Kind of Cake

for the brown sugar marble cake:

adapted from Food and Wine

ingredients:
3 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup milk
2 splashes vanilla extract
6 ounces (12 tablespoons, 1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter
2 cups tightly packed brown sugar
4 eggs
2 ounces very good quality unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled slightly
2 ounces good quality bittersweet chocolate, melted and cooled slightly

directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Pam spray 4 6-inch cake pans (or 2 9-inch, or 3 8-inch).
Stir flour, baking powder, and salt together.
Mix milk and vanilla extract.
Cream butter until very light and fluffy, about 2 minutes.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add the sugar.
Cream for 2 more minutes, until super fluffy and smooth- not gritty.
Add in the eggs one at a time, while mixing on low.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and mix on low after adding all the eggs.
With the mixer on low, simultaneously add the milk mixture and the dry ingredients- go slow.
Once everything is mixed, scrape the sides of the bowl and mix on low again to ensure homogeneity.
Split the batter in two- by weight, you should have one half with 1 pound 5.5 ounces to which you will add the 4 ounces of chocolate.  By volume, measure out approximately 2 cups.
Stir in the melted chocolate into the batter that you just measured out.
Alternate placing scoops of the vanilla and chocolate batters into your pans; once all the batter is portioned out, swirl it well with a fork.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until a paring knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

for the passion fruit curd:

ingredients:

1 egg plus 1 egg yolk

55 g sugar

80 g passion fruit purée, thawed if frozen

pinch salt

56 g butter (4 tablespoons, 2 ounces)

directions:

Blend the eggs, sugar, salt, and passion fruit together, either in a standard blender or with an immersion blender.

Transfer to a pot (if using a standard blender, clean the blender canister).

Place over medium high heat and cook, whisking (or blending, should you have a stick blender) all the while.

Cook for about 6 minutes, until thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.

Remove from heat and blend in butter (transfer to the cleaned blender canister and add the butter and blend, if using a standard blender).

Allow to cool completely before using.

for the vanilla bean Italian meringue buttercream:

from Joe Pastry: click through for an in depth tutorial

ingredients:

5 ounces of egg whites (about 5)

8.75 ounces of sugar, divided

pinch of cream of tartar

scrapings of 1 vanilla bean

2 ounces water

16 ounces (4 sticks, 32 tablespoons, 1 pound) unsalted butter, cut into pieces and softened but still cool

directions:

Mix the egg whites in a stand mixer with the whisk attachment until foamy.

Add in the cream of tartar and beat until soft peaks begin to form.

Slowly stream in 1.75 ounces of sugar, mixed with the vanilla bean scrapings.

Beat on high until stiff peaks form.

Stop the mixer.

Meanwhile, mix the water and remaining 7 ounces of sugar together in a heavy bottomed saucepan.

Place over medium high heat and bring to a boil.

Use a candy thermometer, and bring the syrup to 245 degrees F.

Remove from heat and pour into a glass mixing cup.

Drizzle some of the syrup over the meringue, then whip on high speed for 5 seconds.

Continue in bursts like this until all of the syrup is used up.

Whip the meringue until it has cooled to room temperature (feel the side of the bowl for an indicator).

One tablespoon at a time, beat in the butter.

Mixture may curdle and look separated; keep beating.

It will come together, usually quite suddenly, and you will be staring into a bowl of the fluffiest, most delicious frosting ever.

It will be shiny and smooth.

There should be no butter lumps and everything should be homogeneous.

to assemble:
Torte (level) each layer with a serrated knife to create a nice, smooth, flat top.

Place a cake layer on your cake stand.

Pipe buttercream around the edge of the layer to create a dam.

Fill the center of the layer with a scant 1/4 cup curd, then place the next layer on top of that.

Pipe another dam and repeat with second and third layers.

Place the fourth layer on top, and crumb coat the cake.

Place in the refrigerator for at least 15 minutes to set the crumb coat.

Use the rest of the frosting to create a smooth, even outer coat.

Enjoy!

Time is Deceiving

 
Because sometimes, even when celebrating is the last thing in the world that you want to do, you still need cake.
 
 
Happy birthday to my big brother, Tom.
 
I love you.
 
Chris, you are in our hearts and on our minds and we will continue to search.
We will not give up.
We love you.
 
Readers, I write this through my tears.  
I will not be posting for the next few days.
 
For those of you in the Ithaca area:  please come out and help us search for Chris.  
We just want need to bring him home.
Search party organization and information can be found here and here.
{Cake and frosting from Sky High.  Find the full recipe here.}

Hipsternation

My Korean grandmother is a hipster.  
(Hi Grandma!)
A few weeks months ago, while she was visiting, a conversation about hipsters was sparked by God knows what.
In a feeble attempt to explain this large sector of the populous, I explained, 
hipsters live in Brooklyn and make their own pickles.
 
My grandma just stared at me.  I was probably eating some of her kimchi at that very moment.
Then: a revelation from my irreverent always wise father- 
Grandma is the ultimate hipster.
 
Lives in Brooklyn? Check.
Makes her own pickles?  Oh good Lord you betcha.
Best kimchi I’ve ever tasted.  Not to mention the tens of other types of pickles she makes, stuffed in her fridge at home and here in both of our fridges.
 
(Find something floating in a brown liquid in my fridge?  Keep your paws off and certainly don’t throw it out.  It’s probably some pickles.  
My favorite are chayote pickles.
Funny story about these pickles: none of my family knew what exactly the pickle even was; we couldn’t figure it out, even after poking around in the murky container for a few days.  Unfortunately, my grandma wasn’t quite so helpful, because her pronunciation of chayote left us all puzzled.  It sounded like she was sneezing.  
Ach aye OH tay.  What?!  
Eventually, I realized what she was saying- but none of the rest of my family knew what chayote was, even when pronounced correctly.  Whatever.  More for me.)
We all found this hilarious, including my grandma.
Still not sure if she understands what a hipster is, although we expanded the definition to “also really liking food trucks.”
 
Hipsters also like these rice krispie treats.
They’re the snobbiest krispie treats in the history of rice krispie treats.
First of all, everything is homemade, save for the rice krispies themselves (although, to be completely honest, I did quite a bit of googling for “homemade rice krispies”).
Secondly, the flavors are very different from your regular ole run of the mill krispie treats:
the marshmallows are made with maple syrup and an entire vanilla bean,
the caramel is heavily salted with miso,
and the whole shebang is tied together with brown butter.
(Remember when I made snobby krispies?  Yeah, these up the ante even further.)

I made these a while back, and they’ve waited quite some time in the “draft” stage of my posts, but nevertheless, they’re a chic little bar, definitely worth mentioning.  
My friend, le français, said they tasted like croissants.
I’ll take it.

P.S. Luv u gramz.

Hipster Krispiez
marshmallow adapted from smittenkitchen, inspired/adapted from A Cozy Kitchen
ingredients:
for the marshmallow:
1 tablespoon plus 1 1/4 teaspoons gelatin
1/2 cup water, divided
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup maple syrup
scrapings of a vanilla bean
big pinch salt
for the caramel:
1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons shiro miso
to assemble:
3 tablespoons of butter, browned
6+ cups of rice krispies
melted chocolate for drizzling, if desired
directions:
First, make the caramel.
Bring the sugar and water to a boil, allowing them to cook until the mixture turns deep amber, about 7 minutes.

Immediately remove from heat and whisk in butter; mixture will foam.
Stir in the cream; mixture will bubble violently- keep whisking.
Stir in the miso, whisking until everything is smooth.
Set aside; if it sets while you are making the marshmallow, just reheat it gently in the microwave or over a low flame.
Next, make the marshmallow.
Place 1/4 cup of the water in the bowl of a stand mixer.
Sprinkle the gelatin on top to allow it to soften and bloom.

Mix the maple syrup, sugar, salt, and second 1/4 cup water in a heavy bottomed pot over medium heat.
Bring the syrup mixture up to 240 degrees F, about 10 minutes over medium heat.
Pour the hot syrup over the bloomed gelatin and whip until mixture has tripled in volume and is very fluffy and white.
Sometime while the mixture is whipping, add in the vanilla bean scrapings.
Meanwhile, prepare your pan; grease a 13×9 pan with a little butter and set it aside.
Once your marshmallow is ready, transfer it to a large pot with the browned butter; heat gently to mix the butter into the marshmallow, then stir in miso caramel until everything is homogeneous.
Stir in the rice krispies, adding more only if the mixture is very wet still; you won’t need much more than 8 cups, maximum.
Scrape the mixture into your prepared pan and press firmly all over to even out the tops.
Refrigerate about 30 minutes to set, or leave it at room temperature for a bit longer.
Cut into bars or squares, and drizzle with chocolate if desired.

Unseasonable

This was not supposed to be a Christmas themed dessert.
I swear.
It was meant to be a beautifully vibrant expression of three of my all-time favorite flavors:
 pistache, framboise, et rose.
 
Pistachio, raspberry, rose.
I had dreams about the beautiful red spheres of raspberry that I could make; I drooled over the thought of a pistachio pain de gênes; I practically fainted when I pictured candied rose petals, topping the whole shebang off.
This dessert was the very first baking I did when I got home from my vacation.
Let’s just say that I was just a little *ahem* antsy to get back in the kitchen.
I had been planning this dessert out for ages, diligently typing out recipes on my phone on the plane ride to the islands.
 
It makes sense, then, that this was an especially ambitious dessert.  
Highly involved, many components, and many, many opportunities for human error to enter into the system.
I wasn’t entirely happy, as it became very clear very quickly, with the color scheme of this dessert.
The raspberry was so vibrant that it looked garish next to the muted greens of the pistachios.
The white meringues were too much of a contrast with the rest of the plate, and the rose petals which I had candied were pink, not red, and looked like sliced red onions on the plate. 
*gag*
 
So, lesson learned: ease back into my work, lest in the throes of relaxation my creativity has silently slipped into a less tasteful realm.
 
Also, pink rose petals look like onions.
 
Pistache et Framboise
vanilla goat cheese panna cotta
raspberry gelée
raspberry curd
rosewater meringues
raspberry and rose cubes
pistachio pain des gênes
raspberry spheres
chopped pistachios
(candied rose petals)
 
I currently don’t have my WISE journal (it’s being evaluated… eep!), and I didn’t make a dessert this weekend, so I guess I’m “behind” a week in terms of desserts.  
I’ll probably make one during the week, to catch up, and I’ll be back to regularly scheduled posts soon.
I think.
 
Pistache et Framboise


Raspberry Rose Cubes
ingredients:
80 g raspberry purée, strained twice through a sieve
1 teaspoon rosewater
5 g sugar
1.2 g agar
directions:
Bring juice and sugar to a simmer, add the agar and mix with an immersion blender. Strain and pour into a rectangular pan, then put into fridge to set. Once set, cut into cubes.


Goat Cheese Panna Cotta
ingredients:
1 ounce goat cheese
1/4 teaspoon gelatin
1/4 cup cream
1 vanilla bean
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons sour cream
directions:
Bloom gelatin in 1 tablespoon cold water. Being cream, scrapings from the vanilla bean, and sugar to a simmer, then blend in goat cheese until melted.  Add gelatin and blend with immersion blender, then add in the sour cream.  Pour into shallow bowls and chill until set.

Pain de Gênes à la Pistache
ingredients:
56 grams pistachios
1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar
Pinch salt
1 egg plus 1 egg yolk
4 tablespoons butter, softened and cut into chunks
21 grams flour
1/8 teaspoon baking powder
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Butter a 6-inch cake pan.
Pulse pistachios, salt, and sugar into a finely ground meal in a food processor.  Add eggs and butter and pulse until thoroughly combined. Add the flour and baking powder and pulse until combined.
Spread batter into pan and bake for about 30 minutes, until a cake tester comes out clean.

Raspberry Spheres
ingredients:
100 g raspberry purée
25 g sugar
2.4 g calcium lactate gluconate
500 g low calcium water
2.5 g sodium alginate
25 g sugar
directions:
Prepare the alginate bath: heat water just to dissolve sugar, then add in sodium alginate and blend until completely dissolved. Allow to settle and  cool overnight.
Blend the puree, sugar, and calcium lactate gluconate until homogeneous. Spoon into hemispherical silicon molds and freeze until solid.
To make the spheres, drop the frozen purée into the bath and leave for 4 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and rinse in clean water.

Raspberry Curd:
adapted from Luscious Berry Desserts by Lori Longbotham
ingredients:
3 tablespoons butter, cut into chunks
5 ounces raspberries
2 egg yolks
Pinch salt
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
directions:
Bring raspberries and sugar to a boil, then press through a fine mesh sieve.  Whisk in the egg yolks and salt, then bring to a simmer over low heat, whisking constantly.
Once the curd comes to a simmer, remove from heat and whisk in butter until curd is smooth and silky.

Raspberry Gelée
ingredients:
1 teaspoon gelatin
1.1 ounces water
4 ounces frozen raspberries, thawed
2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
directions:
Bloom gelatin in water.
Boil raspberries and sugar together, then press through a fine mesh sieve.
Stir in lemon juice and gelatin mixture, then use immediately and place in refrigerator to set.

Rosewater Meringues
ingredients:
60 g egg whites (should be two-ish, feel free to just use 2)
75 g sugar
Pinch cream of tartar
1/2 teaspoon rosewater
directions:
Preheat oven to 200 degrees F.  Line a sheet pan with parchment.
In the bowl of a stand mixer, whisk the eggs until foamy.  Add in the cream of tartar and continue to whisk.
Slowly start adding the sugar, as the egg whites whip.
Continue to whip until the meringue is very stiff.
Beat in the rosewater.
Form large mounds using two spoons.
Bake for 11/2 hours, rotating midway through.
Turn off the oven, crack it open a bit, and allow the meringues to finish drying (the oven should be completely cool when you pull them out).

Candied Rose Petals
From Alice Waters
ingredients:
Unsprayed rose petals
1 egg white
1 cup superfine sugar
directions:
Brush the petals on both sides with the egg white, then lightly dip the petal in the sugar.  Lay them out on a wire rack and allow them to dry at least a few hours to overnight.

Googolplexian

 
A googolplexian is 
 
1010100 .
 
For a rough estimate, just count the number of layers in this cake. 
I mean, really.
I’m an exaggerator.  It’s true.  Always have been, always will be.
 
Now, my family calls it being a drama queen, diva, prima donna, etc.
 
They’re exaggerating.
Just who do you think I got it from?!
 
But seriously, guys.  
When I make crêpes, I feel like I’ve made a hundred thousand million and I look at the stack and there’s like six sitting there, plus the one in my mouth.
Talk about disheartening.
 
I’ve tried to make crêpe cakes before.
 
I must will myself not to eat them fresh and hot from the pan and I must will myself to stay at the stove making stupid pancake after pancake until I can take no more.
(And/or have had my fill of fresh, hot crêpes.)
 
Then, after hours and hours of tending to a flaming hot stove, I, ever stoical and composed goddess of patience, must wait for them to cool.
HA!  Fooled you, didn’t I?
Like heck I’m waiting for crêpes to cool… I’ve got things to do and places to see.
 
Ain’t nobody got time for dat.
 
I slap those suckers together with some filling, then stand back to admire what I expect to be a lovely little French pastry.
I’m never happy with what I behold.
 
It’s like getting a hairless cat instead of that damn poodle I was promised at the beginning of this whole ordeal.
 
They never stand above two inches tall, and they’re always droopy instead of ruffly and prim.  They’re not flavorful enough.
They’re boring AND ugly.  
A real winning combination…
 
So why are you staring at a haphazard, not very ruffly, somewhat off-kilter crêpe cake right now?
Because I couldn’t stop thinking about layered crêpes.
Because I couldn’t get the flavor combination of banana and vanilla and apricot out of my head.
Because I wanted cake for breakfast, brunch, lunch, and linner that day.
Because I wanted said cake to be a semblance of something healthy.  Ya know.
This cake is whole-wheat, has very, very little sugar in it, less than a teaspoon of butter, and is chock full of protein and healthy fats, thanks to the greek yogurt, ricotta, hazelnuts, and coconut oil; most of the sweetness comes from the bananas, vanilla seeds, and tart California apricots.

This cake is thus approved for every meal of the day. 
 It’s not the shiniest spoon in the drawer, to be sure, but it tastes good.  It tastes real good.
 
(I can’t describe how much the asymmetry of that one darned hazelnut bothers me. 
Whyyyyy didn’t I fix it while the cake was still in existence?  
It will haunt me for the rest of my life.)


Banana Apricot Crêpe Cake
for the banana crêpes:
adapted from Smitten Kitchen
ingredients:
4 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
1 6 ounce banana, peeled
1 cup almond milk
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons white whole wheat flour
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons all purpose flour
4 eggs
2 tablespoons natural sugar
splash vanilla
big pinch sea salt
pinch each cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg
directions:
Whir all ingredients together in a food processor.  
Let batter rest for at least 20 minutes.
To make the crêpes, heat a 6 inch skillet up on medium high heat.
Brush with coconut oil- you should only have a thin film.
Pour about 2 tablespoons of batter into the pan and immediately swirl to coat the bottom of the pan.
Cook for 1 to 2 minutes until the top is cooked and the bottom is golden brown.  
To flip, use a spatula to pick up the edge, then gently use your fingers to pick up and flip the crêpe.  (Don’t be a baby.  It’s not that hot.)
Continue until all batter is used up.

for the Greek yogurt and ricotta filling:
ingredients:
1/3 -1/2 cup Greek yogurt, depending on how loose you want your filling and/or how thick you want the filling layers to be.  I used closer to 1/2 a cup.
1/3 cup part skim ricotta
1/3 cup powdered sugar
splash vanilla
pinch salt
directions:
Whisk all ingredients together.  Set aside and let thicken slightly.

for the apricot-vanilla compote:
ingredients:
15 dried California apricots
1 vanilla bean or 2-3 already used pods (I fished some used ones out of my sugar)
boiling water
directions:
Roughly chop the apricots.  
Place in a heat safe bowl with the vanilla pod (cut the pod up into 2 1/2 inch chunks if it is whole).  
Pour boiling water over to cover completely.  
Allow to sit for 15 minutes, until the apricots are softened and there are vanilla seeds floating in the water.
Drain most of the water, reserving 2-3 tablespoons.  
Scrape the insides of the vanilla beans out and place in a food processor along with the reserved water and the apricots.  
Pulse until a slightly chunky paste forms.  Set aside.

for the caramel sauce:
adapted from the NYT
ingredients:
1/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon water
2 tablespoons light cream
1/2 tablespoons butter
big pinch of sea salt (around 3/4 teaspoon)
directions:
Add the sugar and water to a heavy bottomed saucepan and cook on medium heat until light amber, 5-7 minutes.  
Remove from heat and immediately stir in cream.  
Mixture will bubble and steam, so beware.  
Whisk in butter and salt; use before completely cooled.  
To loosen it up again before use, microwave it for a few seconds until it is liquid.

to assemble:
Cut up a large banana into thin slices.  
Begin layering the crepes, spreading each with yogurt filling, then either banana slices or apricot filling.  
Alternate the banana and apricot.  
Once your last crêpe is on the cake, pour the caramel over top.  
If desired, you can stack some toasted hazelnuts on top before pouring the caramel.  
Allow the caramel to set slightly, then serve.

Knockoff

Not all knockoffs are like that fake Juicy Couture bag I bought at the Silk Market in Beijing.
 
The one which turned out, once inspected in a brighter lighting and clearer mindset, to be a brown-and-pink diaper bag with a malfunctioning zipper.
Take these cookies, for example.  They’re a take on those lovely, pillowy “Lofthouse” style sugar cookies that you can buy in every single supermarket in America.
You know the ones… They come in packages of six or ten or so, generally with pink or blue Crisco-based “butter”cream icing adorned with heaps of sprinkles, which, during appropriate holiday rushes, change into seasonally themed icing and sprinkles.
 
They’re so bad…. But so very, very soft.  And hard to resist.
 
Editor’s note:
[While perusing their website, which took an inordinately long time to load, discovered that they now come in red velvet [?!] and frosted with nerds [?!!].  Suspicious whether this is good idea or very, very bad one.  Must say, nerds are great.  
Therefore still on fence about nerd-frosted sugar cookies.
 
Also noted: holidays featured are Easter, Halloween, 4th of July, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, and Thanksgiving.
Wonderful!!! All imaginable holiday cookie needs covered! 
 
Perusing further, discovered watermelon and sugar plum flavored sugar cookies (and, of course, ubiquitous and gratuitous pumpkin).
 
Must ask what a sugar cookie designed to mimic sugar plum even tastes like?
Best guess: saccharine.
 
Watermelon?  Can only think of sticking Hubba Bubba into a cookie and dyeing the whole thing bright green.  Mmmmm refreshing.
 
Nearly done with snottiness.  
Blue-, pink-, yellow- and white-frosted cookies considered disparate flavors/groups?!
Found one difference: which number dye goes in at end of mixing time.
 
Last and most important point: how does “purple-boo” icing taste?  And why not kosher?]
Oh, and actually…  Props to Lofthouse for trying to be more eco-friendly.  It’s hard for me to love the cookies anymore, but I sure as heck appreciate that.
 
Here.  Now that you’ve endured an entire post of whining and carrying on, why don’t you enjoy a big, fat, soft cookie with a sweet, buttery swirl of icing on top?
These cookies are wonderful.  So soft and fluffy, perfectly offset by a mound of buttercream.  I also made free-form rose flavored sprinkles/shards to top the whole thing off.
Subtle, and not overly perfume-y.  Just what I was going for.  
I don’t want people thinking I poured a bottle of my nicest Chanel into my cookies.  Feel me?

I loved this recipe… Easy and produced great results.  I highly recommend it!



Faux Lofthouse Sugar Cookies
ingredients:
6 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 ounces( 16 tablespoons) butter, softened
2 cups granulated sugar
3 eggs
1 teaspoon (I added much more… I like vanilla) vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups sour cream
directions:
Stir together the flour, baking powder, soda, and salt.  
In the bowl of a mixer, cream the butter and sugar together.  Scrape the sides.
Beat in the eggs, one at a time.  Scrape the sides.
Beat in the vanilla and sour cream just until combined.
Mix in the dry ingredients just until the dough comes together and is fully mixed.
Divide into 2 disks and refrigerate for at least two hours.
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.  Line sheet pans with parchment or silpats.
Lightly dust a clean surface with flour, and turn one of the refrigerated disks out. 
Roll out to a thickness of 1/4 inch, then cut out desired shapes.
Bake for 7 minutes, then let cool on wire racks.
Gather scraps, refrigerate for a little (10 minutes) if they are becoming warm and elastic, then re-roll.
Repeat with other dough.
 
American Buttercream Frosting
ingredients:
1 stick butter
1 cup plus 1 tablespoon confectioner’s sugar, sifted
big pinch of salt
splash of vanilla extract
1 tablespoon of cream, as needed
directions:
Beat the butter until smooth and fluffy.  
Sift in the sugar, add the salt and vanilla extract, and beat on low speed until incorporated.
Beat on high speed for about 20 seconds, until everything is homogeneous.  If the frosting is thick, add some cream or milk in small increments until it is spreadable.
Spread a thick layer onto each cookie, leaving a slight mound in the center of the cookie.  Spin the cookie while lightly pressing down in the center to create a small well for your sprinkles!
 
Rose Shards:
Use this recipe (brilliant!), but add in a drop of rosewater and spread it very thinly and evenly over a sheet of parchment instead of piping lines out.  Let dry completely, then break apart into little shattered pieces.  Use it to garnish the frosted cookies.