Dirrrty

Ahh… Sorry to burst your bubble, but this post is not about Xtina.
I know.  I’m sad about it too.
 
 Let’s talk about my OCD.
Because everybody loves a crazy person, right?
Today, I cleaned my entire KitchenAid with a toothpick.
Cleaned as in burrowed into every nook and cranny and crevice to pry out any old cookie dough, flour, and other nasty residue.
 
It was the single most horrifying and awesome thing ever.

 
Do you clean your appliances often?
Let me tell you right now, it’s probably not often enough.
I’m scarred after today.
 I mean, sheesh, I go at my stand mixer every so often, when the spirit so moves me, with a toothpick and a warm, wet paper towel, but not to the extent that I dug today.
How does all that even get all up in there?
All up in there in the weirdest places.  
Have you ever unscrewed the little button thing where the meat grinder attaches to your stand mixer?
DON’T DO IT.  JUST LEAVE IT.
TRUST ME.
Okay, new subject, same topic.
You know what my favorite commercials are?
Cleaning product commercials.
Ranging from face wash to shower cleaners.
I just love the feeling I get from watching dirty things become magically clean.
I get all of the satisfaction, and don’t have to get my hands dirty.
It’s like a wonderful dream.
 
Glad we talked about this.  I’m done rambling now.
This turned out to be a lot more about dirt than I meant it to be.
See, I was more thinking mud.
Because that’s what I’m sharing today.
Mud pie.
Mississippi Mud Pie, to be exact.
Only, this isn’t any ol’ Mississippi mud pie.  It’s MY Mississippi mud pie, redesigned and shined up a little bit by my imagination.
 
Traditional mud pie is comprised of a chocolate cookie crust and a chocolate pudding filling, topped with marshmallows and/or whipped cream.
(No, no, I know.  Quit your whining.  We all made gross-ass mud pies in puddles after the rain- those are not what I’m preaching about up in here.  You want that, you can walk yoself out of this fine establishment.)
 
I took it to another gut-busting, button-bursting, chocolatized level.
Because yes.
 
(Chocolatize me Cap’n!  Yes, Chocolate Cap’n Crunch is a thing.  I know.)
I was inspired in part by the Baked guys, because I saw a snapshot of their Mississippi Mud Pie and decided to make it my way.
Then, Russell of Chasing Delicious made this amazing Mississippi Mud Cake, and I decided it was high time to get back on the chocolate wagon.
It had been so long.  Summer just doesn’t always seem to be compatible with chocolate, which melts and makes a mess.  I usually stick to fruit.
But here we are, with a giant chocolate pie to talk about.
I’ll talk you through the layers- it’s not as hard as it seems, I promise.
Come your next chocolate craving, make this.  It will satisfy every bone and tooth in your body.

First up: chocolate cookie crust.
I used Oreos, because for some reason all the regular chocolate cookies were out of stock in all of the grocery stores near me.  Whatever.  
Smash up some cookies, add a little seasoning (sugar+salt) and bind the whole thing with a stick o’ butta.  Yum.  
Next: my favorite brownies.
These are a one-pot, one-spoon, super simple affair.
They come together in 5 minutes and bake in 15.

They’re fudgy and perfect to line the base of the crust.  
Simply cut off the top of the brownie base and lay it right in your crust.
Third: milk chocolate mousse.
This stuff has two major steps, but neither is difficult.  
You come away with the smoothest, fluffiest mousse, one that is very light on the tongue but is completely sliceable.
This would usually be a pudding, but I wanted something a little more sophisticated than chocolate puddin’.
A mousse is perfect for this type of molded dessert!  
Spread it over the cut side of the brownies and chill until it’s completely set.
Next: salted chocolate ganache.
Rich, dark, and so, so deeply chocolaty.  Need I say more?
Finally: Italian meringue.
These marshmallow-y clouds on the top of the cake are the perfect foil for all the chocolate they’re sitting on.  Traditionally, these would be marshmallows or whipped cream, but I prefer the lightness and softness of meringue.

One slice of this will do in your chocolate cravings in just the right way.
Mississippi Mud Pie just done grew up.

Mississippi Mud Pie
 
Assemble everything in the order shown here: crust, brownies, mousse, ganache, meringue.
Chocolate Cookie Crust:
ingredients:
2 1/2 cups chocolate cookie crumbs (I used about 40 Oreos, after I had scraped the cream filling out)
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
8 tablespoons butter, melted
directions:
Mix the cookie crumbs with the sugar and salt, then gently stir in the butter.
Press into a 9-inch springform pan and chill until solid, then begin layering.
Classic Brownies
same recipe as here
ingredients:
8 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons shortening
5 ounces bittersweet chocolate
9 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 1/4 cups sugar
3 eggs
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup flour
directions:
In a heavy pot, melt butter, shortening, chocolate, and cocoa powder together.
Once they are all melted, add the sugar and remove from the heat.
Whisk in the eggs vigorously one by one.
Add in the salt and vanilla and whisk.
Finally, stir in the flour.
Spread the batter in a greased and floured 9-inch cake pan and bake for 20 or so minutes, until a tester comes out clean.
To use in the cake, allow to cool completely, then cut off the shiny, crackly top along with about 4 mm of brownie.
Gently place in the bottom of the chilled crust, cut side up.
 
Milk Chocolate Mousse
adapted from Cannelle et Vanille
ingredients:

 

For the pâte à bombé:

 

56 grams sugar

 

14 grams corn syrup

 

28 grams water

 

1 medium egg yolk plus 1 large egg yolk or 1.5 large or extra large egg yolks

 

For the mousse:

 

56 grams (2 ounces) pâte à bombé

 

4 grams gelatin

 

84 grams (3 ounces) milk chocolate

 

8 ounces (1 cup, 235 mL) heavy cream

 

directions:

 

Make the pâte à bombé: place the egg yolks in the bowl of a stand mixer.

 

Begin to whip them on high while you combine the sugar, corn syrup, and water in a small pot and heat to 240 degrees F.

 

Once the syrup comes to temp, slowly drizzle it over the whipped egg yolks while the mixer is running.

 

Allow the yolks to whip until they cool to body temp.

 

Weigh out 56 grams (2 ounces) and set aside.

 

Melt the chocolate gently, then set aside to cool slightly.

 

Sprinkle the gelatin over 2 tablespoons of cold water and set aside for 5 minutes to soften.

 

Set aside 1/4 cup of the heavy cream and whip the other cream to stiff peaks.

 

Once the gelatin is softened, microwave it with the 1/4 cup cream until melted. Gently stir into the cream; the mixture will become loose.

 

Stir in the pâte à bombé and the cooled melted chocolate, and gently mix until homogeneous.

 

Mixture will be loose.

 

Pour over the brownie in the crust and refrigerate until set.

 

Salted Chocolate Ganache
ingredients:
230 grams bittersweet chocolate
130 grams heavy cream
40 grams corn syrup
Small pinch kosher salt
directions:
Heat the chocolate until half melted in a microwave or over a double boiler.
Add the cream, syrup, and salt and heat until the chocolate is 2/3 melted, about 20 more seconds on medium power in a microwave.
Stir gently, increasing speed, until the mixture is shiny and homogeneous.
Use right away- spread over the chilled and firm mousse.
 
Small-Batch Italian Meringue
ingredients:
38 grams egg whites

 

Pinch cream of tartar

75 grams sugar
25 grams water
Directions:
Place egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer with the cream of tartar.
Combine the water and sugar in a small pot and bring to a boil.
Meanwhile, whip the egg whites.
When the syrup reaches 245 degrees F, the egg whites should be at soft to stiff peaks.
Slowly pour the hot syrup over the meringue with the mixer running. 
Allow to whip until completely cool, then pipe onto the cake.

Raspberry Beret

“Live each season as it passes; 
breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, 
and resign yourself to the influences of each.  
Be blown by the winds.  
Grow green with spring, yellow and ripe with autumn.  
For all Nature is doing her best each moment to make us well.  
Do not resist her.”
-Henry David Thoreau
Sonnet 65:
 
Since brass, nor stone, nor earth, nor boundless sea,
But sad mortality o’er-sways their power, 
How with this rage shall beauty hold a plea, 
Whose action is no stronger than a flower? 
O, how shall summer’s honey breath hold out 
Against the wreckful siege of battering days, 
When rocks impregnable are not so stout, 
Nor gates of steel so strong, but Time decays?
O fearful meditation! where, alack, 
Shall Time’s best jewel from Time’s chest lie hid?
Or what strong hand can hold his swift foot back? 
Or who his spoil of beauty can forbid? 
   O, none, unless this miracle have might,
   That in black ink my love may still shine bright. 
-Shakespeare
I adore Shakespeare’s Sonnet 65, mainly because I love the thought of Time, unstoppable and ravaging, racing through the seasons with little regard to the beauty of each.
I’m blessed to live in a place that experiences each of the four seasons so distinctly and so exquisitely.  
I appreciate each in turn, but it’s true that by the end of the season, I am yearning for the next.  
When the first flowers sprout, I am ecstatic for growth and life, but by the time May rolls around I’m ready for heat and sun.  
When it comes time, I dream of sweaters and long pants and the most beautiful season of all, autumn, with its fiery colors and chilly weather.  
Eventually, I crave the first snow, downy white and fluffy.
Of course, what follows- grey and brown slush- leaves me longing for grass and flowers and green- which completes the cycle quite nicely.
 
Right now, I’m doing my best to enjoy summer, keeping thoughts of jackets and boots out of my mind.  
It’s not as easy as it sounds, being a Fall baby leaves me constantly wishing for the cooling off.
I’ll be quick about the popsicles:
They’re cool, easy, and very refreshing.
They’re tangy and tart- not too sweet.
My favorite part about these is the fact that they’re made with nonfat Greek yogurt- it causes them to be icy on the outset, but once you take a bite, melt into creamy, tangy goodness.
 
Also, they take 10 minutes to put together and have 4 ingredients.
You could sub any type of berry here, just go by what looks good in your area, and taste for sweetness.
 
I ate two the other day, after returning home from a lovely, long and sweaty walk, while curled up on the couch reading a book.
 
Now that is a perfect summer afternoon.

Raspberry Yogurt Popsicles
makes 6 standard popsicles
ingredients:
1 1/2 cups raspberries, mashed
3 tablespoons honey, divided
1 cup Greek yogurt (I used non-fat)
2 tablespoons half and half or cream
directions:
Stir 1 tablespoon of the honey into the raspberries.  
Check for sweetness- you may need to add more if your raspberries aren’t very sweet.
Stir the rest of the honey into the Greek yogurt along with the half and half.
Layer the two mixtures into popsicle molds and swirl with a knife, if desired.
Freeze until solid; release from the molds by running hot water over the exterior.

 

Make It Work

Watch out, because whether you like it or not, I’m sharing some shi stuff that I’m loving right now.
This post is peppered with links.  Click ’em!
Meow.
Reading Blood and Beauty, a fabulously intricate novel about the Borgia family in 15th century Italy, by Sarah Dunant.
This book is right up my alley. I love historical-fiction novels about European monarchies. (Speaking of which, I’ve just binge-watched the first season of the Tudors.)
Also reading Dash and Bella, a new-to-me blog that makes me laugh and cry and cry and laugh.
Seriously, I read every single post in the span of two days.
I cried three times and laughed the whole way through.
Phyllis is an amazingly personable writer who has a way of transporting her reader into her kitchen.
In other words, she is not a terrible writer.
Watching Pirate Radio, a movie set in 1960s Britain on none other than a pirate radio ship.
I’m actually writing this right after having finished this movie, so it’s still fresh in my mind.
My final thoughts- they did an awesome job with the music and the actors captured the very British and very raucous, racy mood perfectly.
Also watching the new season of Project Runway… Gosh how I love Tim Gunn.
I’ve been watching Project Runway with my dad since the second season.
It’s one of our shows, among the ranks of GoT, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Top Chef, Veep, etc.
Carry on!
Listening to lots of the Rolling Stones- I love rock n roll in the summer time. It makes me feel extra free and fun.
Also listeningthis song by Ellie Goulding. Love!
Making these tarts, for a little dinner party, filling them with luscious lime curd and deep dark chocolate ganache.
Also making ice creams and summer succotashes served with hot sauce and scrambled eggs, dreaming of making malasadas and hand pies and ice cream cakes. (I’ll back quite soon with some of these delights!)
Raspberry Tartlettes
makes 5 or 6 small tartlettes or 1 9-inch tart
for the pâte sucrée shells:
ingredients:
12 tablespoons butter, cut into pieces
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 1/2 cups flour
2 medium egg yolks, or one large/extra-large
directions:
Cream the butter, salt, and sugar together on high for 5 minutes, until very fluffy and extremely pale.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add the flour, mixing only until the mixture is starting to form large curds.
Add the egg yolks with the mixer running and mix until a cohesive dough comes together.
Press into tartlette molds or a 9 inch tart pan.
Prick all over with a fork, then freeze for at least 15 minutes.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Bake the shells until they are golden and slightly tanned, 15-18 minutes.
Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely.
for the lime curd:
ingredients:
3/4 cup lime juice
scant 1 cup sugar
zest of 2 limes
pinch kosher salt
5 medium egg yolks, or 4 large/extra-large
8 tablespoons butter, cold and cubed
directions:
In a heavy bottomed sauce pan, rub the lime zest and sugar together until fragrant.
Add in the egg yolks, lime juice, and salt and whisk to combine.
Heat over medium-low heat until the mixture comes to a boil and thickens, about 10 minutes.
The mixture should be thick enough to leave a trail when a spatula is dragged through.
Either transfer mixture to a blender or blend with an immersion blender.
Add in the butter chunks one at a time, blending to emulsify. (If you use a real blender, you can throw half of all the chunks in and just do it in two additions.)
Allow the curd to cool completely before using.
for the salted dark chocolate ganache:
ingredients:
3/4 cup dark chocolate, either chips or chunks, at least 70% cocoa
3 tablespoons heavy cream, or as needed
pinch sea salt
directions:
In a microwave or over a double boiler, melt the chocolate until it is 2/3 of the way melted. (In a microwave, nuke it in 25 second blasts, stirring between each.  You will probably need 3 blasts, but it depends on the wattage of your microwave.)
Stir in the heavy cream and sea salt and heat just a little more, to melt it 3/4 of the way.
(In a microwave, this will probably be a 15 second burst.)
Finally, stir the mixture very well until it becomes shiny and glossy.
Allow to cool to body temperature before using.
to assemble:
Fill each of the tartelette shells with a scant 1/2 cup of either mixture.
Smooth out with a small offset spatula or a butter knife.
Decorate with raspberries (you’ll need about 2 pints) and dust with powdered sugar.

Kawaii!

^.^
Hai!

I’m home home home after driving 12 hours in the past 32.
Needless to say, after shoveling leftover, cold Indian food into my mouth late last night just after arriving home, I fell right asleep, snuggled deep into my comfortable bed.

I woke up this morning and peered in my fridge- surprise!
My mama had made lots of yummy jams from all the fruit we had picked on Saturday.
Raspberry raspberry raspberry sour cherry and a vat of peach and lemon thyme on the stove, simmering away.
Swirled into some yogurt- a lovely way to wake up and greet the day.
Now, I’ve spent the last two hours taking an alcohol education program (online) that’s required for my school and taking instagram videos of my kitten.
(I’ve never done an instagram video before… though since its installation, my Vine has fallen to the wayside.)
Not the loveliest way to greet the day, but whatever.
 
I’ve been meaning to write this blog post for a while.
I can’t find very inspired words.
I don’t know if an in-depth post is really necessary with this cake- I mean, what can I say, I look at it and can’t help but smile… It’s just so goshdarn cute.
This is the first trial of what will probably-maybe-definitely become an obsession.  
I think deco roll cakes are just so, well, kawaii. 
They’re Japanese-born, mainly thanks to Junko, who has written a few books about them and whose roll cakes are incredible.
 
Unfortunately, I don’t speak Japanese, so I used someone else’s adaptation of the Google translated recipe on Junko’s blog and I used a joconde imprime decor paste (used for joconde, or almond flour, sponge cakes).  
It didn’t come out quite how I wanted, as the imprime decor paste didn’t meld well with the actual sponge batter.
I’m going to hunt for some more deco sponge cake recipes/techniques to try, so that the decorations will be more united with the cake.
 
I made other adaptations that I liked- I added a vanilla bean Italian meringue on the interior instead of the traditional whipped cream, because I just love that marshmallow-y fluff, and it added sweetness without being overpowering.
Some notes: if you aren’t familiar with sponge cakes, don’t do the decorations.
Instead, focus on learning how to make the (two) batters and roll the cake without cracking it.
The trick is to use a couple liberally sugared towels to roll the cake up before filling it.
Also, wait till it’s cool!
 
Deco-Roll– Trial 1
 
for the joconde decor paste:
adapted from Bake In Paris
ingredients:
100 grams unsalted butter
100 grams confectioner’s sugar
100 grams egg whites
14 grams cornstarch
96 grams AP flour
food coloring 
directions:
Cream the butter and sugar together for at least 3 minutes, until fluffy, shiny, and pale.
Add in the egg whites; mixture will appear to curdle.
Mix as well as you can to get the mixture as homogeneous as possible; it won’t be completely mixed.
Scrape down the sides of the bowl.
Stir the cornstarch and flour together and add into the mixture. 
Beat on high until just combined.
Divide the mixture into 4 100-gram measures and tint as desired.
Pipe your designs onto a greased, parchment paper lined 15×10 sheet pan (jelly roll pan) as desired; I piped small polka dots.
Freeze for at least 15 minutes, or until designs are completely hard.
Meanwhile, prepare sponge batter.
 
for the sponge batter:
ingredients:
part A: egg yolk batter
3 egg yolks
30 grams sugar
60 grams milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
40 grams canola or vegetable oil
10 grams cornstarch
70 grams AP flour
part B: meringue
3 egg whites
30 grams sugar
big pinch cream of tartar
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine the egg yolks and sugar in a bowl (not your stand mixer bowl, if you have one!  Use a whisk or electric mixer for the yolks and a stand mixer for the meringue).
Place the whites (for the meringue) with the sugar and cream of tartar in the bowl of your stand mixer (if you do not have a stand mixer, simply prepare the yolk batter first, then use your whisk or mixer to prepare the meringue second.  If you happen to have both an electric and stand mixer, you can prepare both components of the batter at the same time.) and begin to beat on medium speed (about a 4 on a KitchenAid.)
Beat the yolks on high or whisk briskly for 3 minutes, until doubled or tripled in size and very pale.
Add in the milk, oil, and vanilla and beat just to combine.
Check on your egg whites; once they reach stiff peaks, turn the mixer off.
Sift the cornstarch and flour over the egg yolk mixture and fold to mix.
Now, bring the two batters together.
Take 1/3 of your meringue and gently mix it into the egg yolk batter with a spatula.
Once combined, fold the rest of the meringue into the batter gently.
Once it is all mixed, remove your sheet pan from the freezer and gently spread the batter over the piped design.
Bake for 12 minutes.
While the sponge is baking, prepare yourself to flip it and roll it.
 
for flipping and rolling:
you will need:
a larger sheet pan, or a cutting board
2 dish towels that are larger than your cake
plenty of powdered sugar
a wire cooling rack
directions:
Lay out one of the towels on top of the sheet pan or cutting board and sift powdered sugar all over it, very liberally.
Lay out your other towel on a countertop and sift powdered sugar over it, very liberally.
Once your cake comes out of the oven, you will flip it onto the sheet pan or cutting board that has been lined with the towel.  
You will then peel the parchment paper off of the cake; you will see the baked-in designs- this will be the outside of the roll.
You will then take the sheet pan/cutting board and flip the cake over onto the other prepared towel that has been covered in powdered sugar.
You will then carefully roll the cake up in the towel, secure it by twisting the ends slightly, and place it on the wire cooling rack to cool completely.
It is best to run over the steps in your mind before doing them so that you do not panic when the sheet cake is warm, because time is of the essence when rolling.
Rolling a warm cake will prevent cracks, but stay cool and composed.
Once the cake is cooled, you will unroll and release it from the towel and fill it with meringue.
 
for the vanilla bean Italian meringue:
ingredients:
75 grams egg whites (about 2)
pinch cream of tartar
150 grams sugar
50 grams water
scrapings of 1/2 a vanilla bean
directions:
Place the egg whites and cream of tartar in the clean bowl of your stand mixer and turn it on to a speed around 3-5 on a KitchenAid.
Meanwhile, place the sugar and water in a heavy bottomed pan fitted with a thermometer.
Heat the sugar syrup until it reaches 245 degrees F, at which point the whites should have reached stiff peaks.
Slowly pour the syrup into the whites with the mixer running; allow to whip until the meringue reaches body temperature.
Sometime while the mixer is still running, add in the vanilla seeds.
Once the meringue is cooled, spread a thick layer over the interior of the cake roll.
Roll up the cake and pipe some decorative meringue on top.
Enjoy!
 

Early Golden

 
These plums are so juicy sweet.
Out of this world juicy sweet.
 
My mama and I went fruit picking this morning.
It was the perfect day- breezy, sunny but slightly cloudy, and warm without being overbearing.
We returned a few hours later with two quarts of sour cherries, two quarts of delicate raspberries, a 1/2 peck of peach “seconds” and a quart of yellow summer plums.
Quite a haul.
(We only picked the raspberries and cherries, though.  Cheaters.)
 
 
We quickly threw the raspberries in a pot with some turbinado sugar and honey, something that was to become a jam, but, upon realizing that we could not for the life of us find that damn pectin, would have to be a thickened compote.
Oh well- I shall eat it swirled into thick, creamy Greek yogurt with hazelnuts and flax seeds.
A fine breakfast, if you ask me!
Then, we picked over the cherries and threw them in a pot with sugar and a spent vanilla bean.
 
I took charge of the plums.
After hastily eating 3, I decided to bake them into a quick cake.
This whole thing took, start to finish, about 45 minutes.  
I swirled some (measurements are not precise, here, people: I free pour.  Sorry.) maple syrup, honey, and a little nub of butter together, then nestled the plums among it.
I topped it with a quickly thrown together almond-olive oil cake batter.
 
The most wondrous thing happens with upside-down cakes: the caramel-syrup mixture melts into the fruit, creating jammy little pockets of heaven, and the cake, while crisp at the very top, absorbs some of the fruity, maple-honey syrup and becomes wonderfully perfumed.
 
These plums (called Early Goldens) turned from a pale yellow to an apricot orange.
The almond and vanilla pair just beautifully with these sweet little nuggets of summer.
If you can get your hands on some fresh, sweet stone fruit- I would suggest pluots or plums- make this cake.
It’s quick, moderately healthy, and delicious!
 
 
Psst… It’s also naturally gluten-free!
 
Upside-down Plum Cake
cake proportions adapted from Comfy Belly
ingredients:
8 small plums, halved and pitted
1/3 cup honey
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 tablespoon butter
pinch sea salt
1 1/2 cups almond flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
scrapings of 1/2 a vanilla bean
1/3 cup honey
1/3 cup oil (I used olive)
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
2 eggs
directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine 1/3 cup honey, maple syrup, butter, and sea salt in a small pot and bring to a boil.
Pour into the bottom of an 8×8 pan.
Arrange the plums in the syrup mixture.
Make the cake: whisk almond flour, baking soda, salt, and vanilla scrapings.
Make a well and add the honey, olive oil, vinegar, and eggs into the center.
Whisk the entire batter together and then spread over the plums.
Bake until the top is deeply tanned and a cake tester comes out clean.
Allow to cool, then slide a knife around the edge and invert onto a serving platter.
 

Food For Thought

The other day, someone politely informed me that I was a terrible writer, with a sneer and a laugh.
Um… Thanks?

I had no response.

I spluttered and mumbled.   
“Oh.”

I was saddened by the fact that I felt so bothered and upset by such breezy criticism.
I was sad that I was sad.

A cheery circle of life, no?

Anyways, this prompted me to sit down at my computer, poised and ready to write a beautiful post, one that would surely impress this person, should they ever bother to read my blog again.

I’ve been sitting here ever since.
Sort of. 
I have been dwelling on this, more than I really should be.
This post has lain blank, while my mind churns with all the things I want to shout say.

What better place to rant than here on my very own blog, on the ever-so-private internet?
Actually, I don’t want this to be private.  
I want it to be shared and sent around, all around, despite its intimate and private contents- I want it to make its rounds through people’s inboxes and readers.
This is because I want it to have some impact.
I want people to remember how others feel when they make them feel bad about themselves, because sometimes we just don’t think before we speak.
We all forget too soon how we have felt when we are sad and broken.

We’ve all been on both ends of a less-than-kind comment, and I won’t hear otherwise.

I mean, honestly, as if I needed yet another thing to pick at inside me.
Another sore place where I feel I’m not good enough- another place which I scratch until it bleeds, until I drown in all of that bloody sorrow and regret and self-loathing.
 
I struggle to grasp at confidence; I do my best to act it, even when I don’t feel at all confident within.
There are a few things that I am (was?) confident about, and one is my baking and my blog.
I toil here, probably more than you think, to create a product of which I can be proud.
 
I love my blog.  And I love my readers.
And frankly, I put enough work in here that I don’t really care if someone thinks I’m a terrible writer.  
 
But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when they tell me that.
To be honest, I’m not confident enough that it doesn’t make me doubt myself and my intentions.
I still came back to this blog with the thought that perhaps it’s not worth it, or not good enough, that people don’t like to read it.
I worried about this blog, and I worried about myself.  
For days.
 
So couldn’t that snide comment have been left to the wayside?

Because where exactly did it leave me?
Extra critical and picky over this blog.
Worried and worrying about what others think of me, not only myself, now, but also my blog.
Worried not only about how other bloggers receive me, but also my readers.
Self-doubting.
 
If we spent half as much time loving and appreciating as doubting and critiquing ourselves, don’t you think we- and this world as a whole- would be that much more satisfied and happy?

Wouldn’t we be that much more willing to love others?  To overlook their faults and embrace them?  
Don’t the majority of our criticisms and anger stem from our own sadness?

I lay in bed last night, feeling the cool air from my open window wash over me, wrapping around my ankles and resting in the crook of my elbows, flooding my nose and cooling the back of my throat, thinking about self-appreciation and love.

My thoughts- harboring hate self propagates; sow seeds of love and harvest happiness. 

The happier we are with ourselves- the more comfortable in our own skins- the brighter and happier our futures will be.

I want my future to glow- to shine- bright enough to blind.
That starts with loving myself.
That starts (anew) here.

Phew.  
To conclude this, I’m giving you the recipe for a cake that loves you back.
It’s raw, vegan, sugar-free, gluten-free, and much lower in fat than most other raw desserts.
I’ve swapped in low-fat coconut milk and coconut, reduced the amount of nuts used in the crust and filling, and added a vegetable.
Zucchini!  That magical veggie which we are all guaranteed to have too much of in the coming weeks, as the plants churn out hundreds of little green squashes.
 
This cake boasts healthy fats from coconut, avocado, and walnuts.
It gets all of its sweetness from bananas, mangoes, dates, and a touch of stevia.
It’s pretty, and it’s yummy.
It’s a hug for your stomach, which is pretty much as close as I can get to giving any of you a hug.

A Cake That Loves You Back
ingredients:
for the crust:
1/2 cup walnuts
1 cup coconut (I used reduced fat)
6 fat and juicy dried medjool dates, pitted
2 tablespoons coconut oil
for the banana layer:
2 bananas, peeled and chopped, then frozen
1 avocado
1 medium zucchini, peeled
1 scant cup of cashews, picked over and soaked in cold water for at least 2 hours
juice of 1 1/2 lemons
1 teaspoon stevia extract
for the mango layer:
2 cups chopped, frozen mango
1 cup light coconut milk
directions:
Make the crust: pulse all of the crust ingredients together in a food processor until they form a uniformly coarse meal. 
Press into the bottom of a 9-inch springform pan.
Make the banana layer: in a blender or food pro, puree the cashews until very smooth.
Add in the rest of the ingredients and puree until very, very smooth, at least a couple minutes.
Spread over the crust and chill in the freezer until set.
Meanwhile, make the mango layer: in a blender or food pro, puree the mango and coconut milk until a thick, sorbet-like mixture is formed.
Spread over the frozen banana layer, then chill again until the whole thing is set.
Before serving, allow it to sit at room temperature to temper, then cut and serve.

Skywire

“There must be a better way to get a pole across the Grand Canyon…”
Did you guys watch the Skywire special on Discovery a few weeks back?
The one where a man walked across the Grand Canyon with a giant pole on a tightrope without a harness wearing slippers?
I watched it with a bunch of friends.
It really was attention-capturing.  We watched for 45 minutes without realizing there hadn’t been commercials.
I had a bet with one of my friends that they would cut off camera if he fell.
 My friend insisted that they would show it at least once- his reasoning was that they replayed Kevin Ware’s horrific leg injury twice, so falling 1500 feet to one’s death would be aired.
I was just glad we never settled the bet.  Ick.
Anyhow, that’s a bit off topic.  I was just reminded of that special because of this ice cream.  
It’s called “Graham Canyon,” because it’s a copycat, as far as I can tell, for BYU Creamery’s flavor of the same name.
People describe Graham Canyon (no, I’ve never had it, but the descriptions sounded so good that I had to try and make my own) as caramel-y, with dark chocolate covered honeycomb candy and a graham swirl.
My version is a graham ice cream, with graham ganache mixed in (unfortunately it didn’t swirl the way I wanted it to, but the graham cracker flavor was already prominent), along with honeycomb candy, both robed in chocolate and plain.
The non-chocolate coated honeycomb melts into the ice cream, creating a toffee flavor that pairs really well with the graham.
 
That said, this ice cream is still an endeavor to make, with lots of components.
However, it’s similar to store bought ice creams in that it has a rich flavor and lots of mix-ins.
I’m becoming more and more interested in trying to make ice creams like Ben and Jerry’s- inventive and flavorful… Stay tuned!
 
P.S. I’m thoroughly enjoying myself at a super hippie local music festival, Grassroots, for the weekend.
It’s hot as… all get out.
It’s wonderful.
Happy groots weekend to all!
Stay cool!  Eat ice cream!

“Graham Canyon” Ice Cream
ingredients:
1 batch graham ice cream, recipe below
1 batch graham ganache, recipe below
1 batch honeycomb candy, divided, recipe below
1 cup melted dark chocolate, mixed with 1 teaspoon coconut oil
directions:
Churn the graham ice cream in your ice cream maker.
Meanwhile, break the honeycomb into small bits.
Take approximately 1/3 of the honeycomb- (choose the bite sized pieces rather than the crumbs) and stir it into the dark chocolate.
Fish the bits out of the chocolate with a fork and place on a plate- chill until chocolate is set.
Take approximately 1/4 of the original amount of honeycomb (this measure should be mostly crumbs and tiny pieces) and mix it into the ice cream while it churns.
Once the ice cream is done churning, swirl the graham ganache into it.
Stir in the chocolate covered honeycomb and freeze until solid.
Enjoy!

Graham Crackers
adapted from smitten kitchen
ingredients:
188 grams (1 1/4 cups plus 1 tablespoon) white whole wheat flour
88 grams (1/2 lightly packed cup) brown sugar
3 grams (1/2 teaspoon) baking soda
2 grams (3/8 teaspoon) kosher salt
50 grams (3 1/2 tablespoons) butter, cold and cut into pieces

57 grams (1/6 cup) honey
38 grams (2 1/2 tablespoons)milk
14 grams (1 tablespoon) vanilla extract
directions:
Place the flour, sugar, baking soda, and kosher salt in the bowl of a food processor.
Add the butter and pulse until mixture resembles coarse sand.
Add the honey, milk, and vanilla and pulse until a dough forms.
Turn out and wrap in plastic; refrigerate.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Roll out dough on a well floured surface to 1/8 inch thickness.
Cut desired shapes and bake on a parchment lined sheet for 15-18 minutes.
 
Graham Crust
adapted from momofuku milk bar
ingredients:
graham crackers, above, pulsed and turned into crumbs (190 grams, if you want to use store bought, which is approximately 1 1/2 cups of crumbs)
20 grams (1/4 cup) milk powder 
25 grams (2 tablespoons) sugar
3 grams kosher salt (3/4 teaspoon)
55 grams (4 tablespoons) butter, browned
55 grams (1/4 cup) half and half
directions:
Pulse the graham cracker crumbs, the milk powder, sugar, and salt together. 
Add the butter and half and half and pulse until the mixture resembles damp sand.
 
Graham Ice Cream
adapted from momofuku milk bar
ingredients:
1 cup graham crust
380 grams (1 3/4 cups) half and half
1 teaspoon gelatin
35 grams (2 tablespoons) golden syrup
65 grams (1/3 cup) sugar 
40 grams (1/2 cup) milk powder
1 gram (1/4 teaspoon) kosher salt
directions:
Combine the half and half and graham crust and allow to steep for 20 minutes.
Strain out the graham crust with a fine mesh sieve; discard the mush.
Bloom the gelatin in 2 tablespoons of cold water.
Warm some of the graham milk and whisk in the gelatin to dissolve.
Add the gelatin/graham milk mixture back to the entire batch of graham milk, then add the rest of the ingredients. 
Blend with an immersion blender or a regular blender to combine.
 
Graham Ganache
inspired by Christina Tosi
ingredients:
the remainder of the graham crust from your graham ice cream 
half and half
directions:
Continue to pulse the graham crust, adding half and half a teaspoon at a time, until it turns into a very smooth, grit-free paste.  (Do not add too much half and half at any one time, it may turn the ganache liquid.)
The consistency should be thick and creamy and smooth, like a cooled chocolate ganache.
 
Honeycomb Candy
adapted from not so humble pie
200 grams sugar
10 grams honey
15 grams golden syrup
40 grams water
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
directions:
Line a baking pan with a silpat and spray with nonstick spray (do not use parchment; if you must, go bare with just nonstick spray).
Place the water in the bottom of a heavy, high-sided pot.
Add the sugar, honey, and golden syrup to the middle of the water, stir carefully to combine.
Heat over medium-high heat until it turns a very light golden color, or 300 degrees F, stirring constantly. (The color should be just barely turning; this took me 3 tries, 2 without a thermometer, so I just recommend going by temperature rather than looks.)
Moving quickly, stir in the baking soda with a whisk and pour the mixture onto your pan.
Allow to cool, then break into pieces.

C.R.E.A.M.

Catz Rule Everything Around Me.
Meow.
I have a love/hate relationship with these two nasty little buggers.
See, Sasha and Kasha were both rescues of sorts- both rescued from dirty, teenage-boy apartments.
 
Sasha was a farm kitty who was bought on a whim by my older brother and his roommates.  
They brought her back to NYC and she promptly (and tragically) fell out of a four story window.
She survived with just a tiny cut on her chin…  She now has 8 lives left.
She’s the nicer of the two cats, but certainly lacks in the beauty department.
She also has a bad habit of escaping outdoors when you’re least expecting it (our cats are firmly indoor cats), and then manages to evade recapture for ages.  
She lets you get in very close, almost as if to catch her, then sprints away.
That little ratfink.  
Kasha was just a little kitten “rescued” from my friends’ apartment last summer.
They had initially rescued her from a field.
She is truly a feral cat… Raised among teenage boys, what else could one expect?
She’s a pretty one, covered in stripes and spots, but she’s very small.
I don’t expect she’ll grow much more.  We call her Peewee.  (More often than we use her real name!  She’s such a dinky little thing.)
Kasha is not very friendly, and doesn’t like to be held or pet.  Real lovely personality.
She eats like a starved and crazed animal, which she is not.
She’s even got a tiny pudgy little belly. 
If you even come near her eating her food, she will make a strange, high pitched gurgling/growling noise and proceed to try to fit everything in her bowl in her mouth.
It’s grotesque.  Seriously nauseous eating habits.
Also, Kasha tends not to purr.  Or meow.  She beeps.
She sounds like a bird mixed with a telephone.
I don’t know where this is going.
But basically, all I do is take photos of my cats and food.
And all I talk about are my cats.  I don’t even like them that much.
Welcome to my life, I guess.
It’s very exciting and instagram-worthy.
I don’t have a recipe for these cookies.  
I dumped a bunch of things in a bowl and hoped for the best.
When I experiment like that (which is very often), I always make notes on a post-it.
Trouble is, I have so many damn post-its that I can’t remember what they mean!
Also, I can only find two- I don’t know where the others go.
Somehow, I still have notes for an orange-olive oil cake, and I swear I’ve thrown this very one out three times.
It keeps coming back.
But alas, the search for the maple-bacon-brown butter-brown sugar cookie post-it has been in vain.  I will update this if I find it!
 
Be back soon… With ice cream!

Worth It

It’s rainy sunny zebra weather, as I called it when I was little.
Boy, I thought I was a clever little imp.
Either way, it is h-o-t.
And very humid.
(And damp.  Note the photos.)
The last thing I want to be doing in this kind of weather is cooking running to urgent care to get my finger mended.
Alas… While making this pie, that is exactly what I ended up having to do.
Was it worth it?
Definitely not.  But the pie is all kinds of awesome, so that’s at least a plus.
I love key lime pie.
It’s one of my favorite kinds of pie.  It’s up there with peach and apple and nutmeg-maple cream.  
(And crack.)
So, while meandering through the grocery store, when a bag of key limes caught my eye, I had to snatch them up.
 
Side note: it still amazes me how cheap produce gets in the summer.  
Ataulfo mangoes are 2/$5 in the winter.  
Now, they are piling up in giant mounds and being sold 5/$5.
Key limes are cheap, too.
I guess it’s just funny because I always think of winter as the citrus/tropical fruit season, but that’s only because nothing else is in season- it’s just a default!
Anyways, back to pie.
This pie is healthified- just a little.  
Instead of butter, there’s coconut oil (which gives a boost of flavor as well as health).
Instead of egg yolks, there’s neufchatel.
The graham crackers are homemade with 100% whole wheat flour.
But you know what?  You wouldn’t know it.
In fact, my family didn’t know it.  The pie was gone by the next day.  There are only 4 of us in the house.  It went quick.

This pie tastes better than many key lime pies and is so much easier without the baking of the interior.  It’s quick and has some health boosts to boot.  I’ll take it!
(And it’ll take my finger.)
 
P.S. A note about the coconut graham crackers- you could make them vegan by swapping golden syrup or agave for the honey.
Icebox Key Lime Pie
ingredients:
about 2/3 batch of graham crackers, recipe below
4 tablespoons coconut oil, liquid
1 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk (I used fat-free)
6 ounces neufchatel cheese
1/2 cup key lime juice
zest of 3 key limes, optional
directions:
Pulse the graham crackers in a food processor until they are crumbs.
Add in the coconut oil and pulse until the crumbs are all moistened.
Press into a 9-inch pie pan and chill while you prepare the filling.
Whip the sweetened condensed milk, the neufchatel, and the key lime juice together until they are homogeneous.
Stir in the zest.
Pour into your prepared crust and allow to chill in the fridge until set, about 3 hours.
 
Coconut Graham Crackers
adapted from Smitten Kitchen
ingredients:
2 1/2 cups plus 2 tablespoons (375 grams) white whole wheat flour (you could sub 2 cups AP and make the rest regular whole wheat)
1 cup (176 grams) brown sugar
1 teaspoon (6 grams) baking soda
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt (4 grams)
7 tablespoons (100 grams) coconut oil, solid but not hard
1/2 cup (171 grams) honey
2 tablespoons (27 grams) vanilla extract
directions:
Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt in the bowl of a stand mixer.
Cut the coconut oil into small chunks and add it into the mixture.
Once the mixture resembles coarse sand, add in the honey and vanilla extract and mix just until combined.
Wrap in plastic wrap and chill for 30 minutes.
Roll out the dough to 1/8 inch thick and cut it with a knife into rough squares (they don’t need to look even mildly good/accurate, since we’ll be grinding them up).
Poke each square with a fork and put onto baking sheets.
Bake for 15-18 minutes, until golden and fragrant.
Let cool before using in any recipes.

I Do My Best

 … to keep it 100.
 
Guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
^100 exclamation marks.
 
^100 slices of stone fruit.
(Okay, it’s 97.  But I’m the only one crazy enough to count.)
 
100 posts.
That’s right! This little blog isn’t so little anymore.
*sniff*
 
It’s hard for me to believe that “Caramel Craze and Memorial Daze” was 100 posts ago!
 
We’ve covered cakes, pies, tarts, ice cream, molecular experiments, cupcakes, candy, heartbreaks, birthdays, celebrations, and goodbyes.
But what better way to celebrate this milestone than with peaches and pastry, two of my greatest loves.
In case it has escaped you, this blog is named after a peach.
Why?  I dunno.  It rhymes.
Just kidding.  It’s because I love stone fruits.
Plums, apricots, cherries, peaches, and all the variations.
The appearance of local stone fruits is always an indicator of summer, one that leaves me with drool juice dripping down my chin and a big smile perched right above.
 
I eat summer fruit like it’s my job.  It pretty much is my job.
The other day, I had a bowl of yogurt with a maple-nutmeg-strawberry-rhubarb compote, an apricot, a plum, and a peach.
I could eat our entire farmer’s market. 
Remember how I said that those patriotic shortcakes were devastatingly summery?
Well this tart goes above and beyond those lil biscuits.  
Just looking at it wraps me up in summer like a towel warmed by the sun after a bracingly cold dip in the lake.
 
A truly simple summer dessert, the star here is the fruit, so be sure to choose ripe, fragrant ones.
You can use any combination of stone fruits here; use whatever looks, smells, and feels best in your area.
A ripe stone fruit should be very fragrant- floral and a touch almond-y- should yield slightly to gentle pressure, and should separate from its pit quite effortlessly.  
If you struggle to pull the pit from your first peach while making this recipe, put it off for a few days.  
Put your fruit in a brown bag with a banana, which gives off copious amounts of ethylene, the fruit ripening hormone.
The crust will wait patiently in the freezer (wrap it well in aluminum foil) for the leading lords and ladies to take the stage.
I chose plums, peaches, and apricots because I wanted to showcase as many stone fruits as I possibly could, and I love the way their juices bleed colors into one another.
They all bring a certain flavor to the party: peaches are floral and fresh, plums are tart and crisp, and apricots are sweet and velvety.
In addition, all three work marvelously with almond, thanks to the noyaux in their pits.
I refurbished my favorite pâte sucrée to include plenty of almond meal; enough that you can taste it in the crust.
I also added a fine dusting of a buttery crumb with sugar and almond; it coaxes more flavor out of the fruit without overpowering the tart.
 
A note about the crust and the weather: in humid weather, tart crusts absorb moisture quickly.  
They will be no less delicious, but markedly softer after a few hours in a humid and hot environment.  If this is an issue, I suspect that storing the tarts in a refrigerator would help to diminish the softening.
Serve this tart with the simplest vanilla ice cream (recipe below).
Seriously, simplest ever!
Make it with cold half and half and it literally takes 3 minutes to put together, plus the 20 minutes for churning.
No eggs, no cooking, just cold, creamy, vanilla goodness.
It’s homemade ice cream for us impatient folks with a warm tart that needs accompaniment! 
So, in conclusion, this peach grows!
And may it continue.
Once again, a shout out to you, my readers.
You rock.
 
P.S. I typed this with 9 fingers, which is surprisingly difficult as a touch typer who is accustomed to going a mile a minute.
RIP finger.
*sniff*

Simplest Stone Fruit Tart
Makes 1 11-inch plus 2 4-inch tarts
ingredients:
16 tablespoons (8 ounces, 2 sticks) butter
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups AP flour
1/4 cup white whole wheat flour (sub AP or whole wheat)
1/2 cup almond flour/meal
2 egg yolks
3 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons almond flour
pinch salt
1 tablespoon softened butter
thinly sliced peaches, plums, and apricots (I used 3 yellow plums, 2 apricots, and 3 peaches)
directions:
Cream butter, sugar, and salt together on high for 5 minutes (if butter is softened, cream for 3 minutes; if it’s cold, 5), until fluffy, pale, and shiny.
Scrape the sides of the bowl.
Add in the flours and mix until almost entirely combined.
Add the egg yolks and mix until completely homogeneous.
Wrap in plastic wrap and chill for at least 20 minutes and up to a day.
Roll out your dough to a 1/4 inch thickness and place in pan.
Alternately, press dough into pan.
Prick all over with a fork and freeze for at least 10 minutes.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine 3 tablespoons sugar, 2 tablespoons almond flour, and a pinch of salt.  
Using the back of a spoon, smush the tablespoon of softened butter into the dry mix until it resembles coarse crumbs.
Remove your crusts from the freezer and arrange your fruit.
Sprinkle the fruit with the sugar mixture, sparingly if you want your design to show through.
Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, until the fruit is juicy and the crust is golden. 
Serve with the simplest vanilla ice cream, below.
 
Simplest Vanilla Ice Cream
ingredients:
1 3/4 cup half and half, cold
1/4 plus 2 tablespoons sugar
pinch sea salt
1/2 a vanilla bean
directions:
In a blender or with an immersion blender (shudder), blend all ingredients together until the vanilla bean is in tiny chunks.
Churn in an ice cream maker.