“We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.”

—Bob Ross

I am in a weird, suspended state of anxiety as I write this. More so, miraculously, than my standard, run-of-the-mill worries. I’ve wrapped up my pre-clinical courses for literally the rest of my life.
I am on break from now until January 4th, at which point I will start my clinical coursework.

Throughout all of the years that I have worked to come to this point, clerkships were always noted to be a massive, seismic educational and emotional shift. Importantly (so I have heard), it is your clerkship year that sees you embark on your career-long clinical learning journey, helps teach you to work as part of a care team, and nudges you closer to earning the title of doctor. I have been reminded time and again that it is quite possibly the year you learn the most.
So, no sweat, obviously. How lucky I am, for this opportunity. How excited I am! to learn to be a doctor. But I can’t help these cursed nerves. *deep breath*

Amidst my frantic googling for “most comfortable shoes for OR reddit 2020 medical school,” I am genuinely trying to enjoy my time off at home in Ithaca, which is magically blanketed in fluffy white snow right now.
The more I put aside any feeble attempts to prepare beyond good ole R&R, the more I can embrace that I will be at the bottom of a steep learning curve, whether my coordinates are (0,0) or (0.001,0.001).
Thus far, said embrace remains a very uncomfortable, socially distanced pat on the back.

Meanwhile, my own website has betrayed me with ads for men’s Merrell jungle moccasins and life insurance.
Thanks, I love you too (?).

This year sees a modest bevy of Christmas cookies—only three kinds, but each is very special.

The snow-capped pine trees are made of crisp nutmeg, maple, and rye shortbread and frosted with a palette knife à la Bob Ross before being showered in powdered sugar. They are a little rustic on account of my perpetual unawareness of which home my fine piping tips are currently inhabiting. Note: we can conclude that it is NOT currently Ithaca.

The chonky bois on the plate are a variation on Alison Roman’s salted chocolate shortbread, studded with dark chocolate and pistachios and cut especially thick so they remain toothsome and buttery.

The delicate holly cookies are cream cheese rolled out cookies, wafer thin, as delicate and buttery as can be with a gentle tangy backdrop. They are mixed and baked ever-so-carefully such that they remain especially tender.

Christmas, previously:

Cakes:
Indulgent, gorgeous, and so so French: chestnut, chocolate, and cream croquembouche au craquelin
The cutest little pink number with an even cuter, dinky reindeer: gingerbread house on an orange spice and chocolate cake.
My pride and joy, the most elaborate cake on the blog: la souche de Noël.
A different, more whimsical take on a tree cake: this eggnog-filled, bauble-bedecked Christmas tree.
Golden and gleaming, an almond and orange spice cake.
A classic: red velvet with a winter woodland theme.
The fluffiest of cakes, a chocolate and peppermint cake with marshmallow frosting.
Oldie but a goodie: chocolate buttermilk cupcakes with peppermint buttercream.

Cookies:
A box full of brownies, coffee bean cookies, maple almond swirls, and lady grey orange sugar cookies.
Simple but effective pistachio and cranberry butter cookies.
Super intricate and crunchy maple and black pepper gingersnaps.
Luster-dust highlighted sugar cookie Christmas trees.
Very grown-up chocolate orange Linzer cookies.
Festive eggnog sugar cookies, decorated with royal icing and sprinkles.
Twists on the classic: honey spice and dark chocolate sugar cookies, perfect for cutting into shapes.
Pepparkakor with lemon royal icing, decorated with mehndi-inspired swirls.
Chocolate peppermint macarons… Macarons are still my nemesis.
Classic Linzer cookies with different fillings.
Maple, nutmeg, and rye sugar cookies, dressed all in winter white.
Chocolate, sour cherry, and coconut cookies; grapefruit butter cookies; and dark chocolate pecan snowcaps, all crammed into one post.
Cinnamon toast crunch marshmallow treats, chocolate peppermint shortbread, Russian teacakes, 5-spice snickerdoodles, another post bursting with recipes.
Whimsical peppermint marshmallow ropes; not cookies per se, but great for gifting.

Cream Cheese Roll Out Cookies
makes 24-30 2-inch cookies

ingredients:
113 grams (1 stick, 8 tablespoons) butter, room temperature
30 grams (2 tablespoons) cream cheese, room temperature
200 grams (1 cup) sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 teaspoons milk
1 teaspoon fine sea salt
180 grams (1.5 cups) AP flour

directions:
Prepare a clean surface with a dusting of flour.
Beat butter and cream cheese together on low speed just until incorporated, about 30 seconds.
Add the sugar and beat on the lowest speed until the mixture has become less gritty and lightened slightly in color (but you don’t want to incorporate too much air, so don’t increase the speed!), about 1 minute.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add the vanilla, milk, sea salt, and AP flour.
Mix on low speed until dough comes together.
Portion out half if you want to add cut outs and tint as desired (I used Wilton food coloring gel in blue, yellow, and brown to achieve a deep green).
Roll out to 1/4 inch thick, then use a round cutter (or whatever cutters you choose!) to cut cookies, punching out the center in whatever shape you desire.
Place on a baking sheet covered with parchment paper.
Place cut out cookies in freezer and reroll scraps to use up as much as possible.
Roll out the tinted dough to 1/4 inch thick, and cut out shapes using the same cutter you used to punch the hole in the circular cookies.
Remove the frozen cookies and quickly and gently place the cut out shapes into the holes.
Freeze the whole cookies for at least 15 minutes and up to 1 week, well covered.
To bake, preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Place cookies in oven straight from freezer.
Check doneness at 6 minutes—you don’t want the cookies becoming too golden, but rather being just set.
If they are still soft when pressed with a fingertip lightly, bake for 2 more minutes, and check again (repeat as needed: I ended up with 10-12 minutes, depending on how cold the batch was coming out of the freezer and how warm my oven was).
As soon as they start to color at the very edges, just slightly blonde, take them out.
Allow to cool for 15 minutes on the baking sheet, then transfer to a wire rack and cool completely.
To add the holly berries, shake pearlescent spherical sprinkles in a ziploc bag with 1 drop of red food coloring until coated.
Place on a plate and allow to dry for at least 30 minutes before affixing to cookies with a drop of royal icing or other frosting.

Salted Chocolate and Pistachio Shortbread
adapted from Alison Roman
makes 18 thick shortbreads, 24-30 if sliced thinner

ingredients:
128 grams (1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon, 9 tablespoons total) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 teaspoon fine sea salt
50 grams (1/4 cup) sugar
28 grams (2 tablespoons packed) brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
150 grams (1 1/4 cup) flour
1/3 cup chopped chocolate chunks
1/4 cup pistachios, chopped
1 egg
Turbinado sugar, for rolling

directions:
Beat butter with salt and sugars for 3 minutes, until light, fluffy, and doubled in volume.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add the vanilla; beat for 1 more minute.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add the flour; mix on low speed until dough starts to come together.
Stir in chocolate chunks and chopped pistachios.
Turn dough out onto a piece of plastic wrap and pat into a cylinder.
Refrigerate until hardened.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.
Beat the egg well, then use a brush to coat the cylinder of dough.
Roll in turbinado sugar, pressing down gently to make the sugar stick.
Cut with a sharp knife into 1cm thick cookies.
Place onto parchment paper and bake for 10-15 minutes, until golden and set (a finger gently pressed into the cookie should barely leave an indent).
Move to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

Maple, Nutmeg, and Rye Cookies
makes 36 cookie-42 2-inch cookies

ingredients:
for the cookies:
360 grams (3 cups) rye flour (I use King Arthur Medium Rye)
226 grams (16 tablespoons, 1 cup) butter, softened
200 grams (1 cup) sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
20 grams (1 tablespoon) maple syrup
1 egg
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

directions:
Make the cookies: beat butter on high speed for 3 full minutes, until fluffy and softened.
Add the salt, sugar, and nutmeg and beat on high speed for another 3 minutes; mixture should be lightened in color and not grainy.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add the egg and vanilla; beat for 3 full minutes.
Scrape the bowl again and add the flour.
Stir on low speed for 30 seconds to 1 minute, or until the flour is completely incorporated and the dough comes together in a ball.
Turn out the dough and knead into a ball; refrigerate for 15 minutes (and up to 2 days).
Roll the dough out to 1/4 inch thickness on a lightly floured surface.
Cut out shapes.
Carefully move to a baking sheet covered in parchment.
Freeze until solid, about 15 minutes.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Bake the cookies in batches, with as many as fit on your baking sheet at once, for about 12 minutes, until barely golden (they will not spread much).
Allow to cool completely.
Ice with royal icing as desired.