January 22, 2014September 5, 2020 by Rachel Sally

As Promised

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This post is a wee bit out-of-season. You might not be able to find candy canes at the grocery store.
Check the clearance section. If you still can’t find any, you’re S.O.L.

Just kidding. I advocate the use of sprinkles, as you probably already know.

I’ve made lofthouse-style cookies once before, and dumped on the brand in a whiny post a lo o o o o ong time ago.

I am not providing a link to said post, and don’t you go nosing around for it either, primarily because the photos look like they were taken with a flip phone from 2007 (Razr, anyone? I had the Pebl. Gr8.) and I don’t want to be reminded of that.

Ok? Ok. Glad we talked about this.

These lofthouse cookies are the (late) peppermint post that I promised would infuriate you.

Be happy, because I came thisclose to not only posting a candy cane post after the holidays, but making it a repeat recipe from the-post-that-shall-not-be-~~named~~-searched.

THISCLOSE. But. I found another promising recipe, and ran with it.

This one uses cake flour and corn starch, as well as shortening (Don’t look at me like that. I know. Deal with it.) to keep the cookies super soft and fluffy, where the last recipe used sour cream.
These were more cakey than real lofthouse cookies, but nevertheless, delicious, and pretty damn close to the addictively gross originals.

I topped them with a salty espresso + chocolate buttercream and a smattering of crushed candy canes for crunch. (Hellooooo alliteration nicetomeetyou.)

P.S. I realize that these photos are very similar looking. No, this isn’t one of those spot-the-difference games.

I’m just lazy, which should further confirm your idea of me as a bad blogger.

Anyways! Good luck finding candy canes. Ha.

Chocolate and Peppermint Lofthouse Cookies
makes about 15 cookies
cookie portion adapted from Cooking Classy
ingredients:
for the cookies:
300 grams (2 1/2 cups) cake flour
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
110 grams (1/2 cup, 8 tablespoons) butter
55 grams (1/4 cup, 4 tablespoons) vegetable shortening
200 grams (1 cup) granulated sugar
scant 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 egg plus 1 egg white
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

for the frosting:
60 grams (~2 ounces) dark chocolate, melted
110 grams (1/2 cup, 8 tablespoons) butter
1 tablespoon cocoa powder
2 teaspoons espresso powder
45 grams (1 1/2 cups) powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

to assemble:
2 candy canes, chopped finely or ground in a food processor

directions:
In the bowl of a stand mixer, add the butter and shortening and beat for 2 minutes.
Add in the sugar and salt and beat for 3 minutes.
Add the egg and egg white as well as the vanilla and beat for 4 full minutes.
Meanwhile, whisk the flour, cornstarch, and baking powder together.
Scrape the sides of the bowl after 4 minutes of beating, then add in the flour mixture and mix on low speed until combined.
Refrigerate the dough for at least 1 hour.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
To bake, remove the dough from the fridge and roll out to 1/2 inch thickness, or perhaps a little less, on a well-floured surface.
Cut out desired shapes and place on parchment lined baking sheets.
Bake for 8-10 minutes, until set.
To make the frosting, beat the butter and espresso powder on high until very soft.
Sift the powdered sugar and cocoa powder over the butter and mix on low; mixture will be dry.
Add the salt and, with the mixer running on medium speed, stream the melted but cooled chocolate into the frosting.
Beat until completely homogeneous.
To frost the cookies, place a generous tablespoon of frosting onto the cookie, and spread out with a butterknife or offset spatula.
Dust with candy cane pieces.

January 11, 2014 by Rachel Sally

Keep Calm

“Come, let us have some tea and continue to talk of happy things.”

-Chaim Potok

“Tea is drunk to forget the din of the world.”

-Tien Yiheng

“Strange, how a teapot can represent at the same time the comforts of solitude and the pleasures of company.”

-Author Unknown

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“Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.
“I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone, “so I can’t take more.”
“You mean you can’t take less,” said the Hatter: “it’s very easy to take more than nothing.”

-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

There is always time for tea and room for cake.
Or, in this case, both.

Chocolate cakes infused with Earl Grey tea in two manners: dry tea leaves, and hot brewed tea.
The sweet, floral undertones, which have orange and verbena notes, as well as the astringent black tea leaves, contrast well with the deep and rich chocolate cake.
The Italian meringue buttercream is made with honey and golden syrup, resulting in a salty-sweet, silky delight that tastes like the top of a good piece of toast, minus the bread, which is the worst part anyway.

I might actually like cupcakes again.
This recipe only makes 6, which is perfect (I don’t need 24 cupcakes floating around my house, people…), and is a marriage of unexpected flavors which ended up working inexplicably well.

The best recipe for health and happiness:
good books, better tea, and, of course, delicious cupcakes.

Teatime Cupcakes
makes 6
cake portion adapted from Sweetapolita
ingredients:
for the chocolate Earl Grey cakes:
48 grams (1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons) flour
75 grams (1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons) sugar
3/8 teaspoon baking soda
3/8 teaspoon baking powder
3/8 teaspoon cornstarch
big pinch kosher salt
15 grams (2 tablespoons) cocoa powder
1 tablespoon loose Earl Grey leaves
40 mL (2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons) buttermilk
1 medium egg (if using a large egg, beat it well before adding it, and remove 2 teaspoons of beaten egg)
30 mL (2 tablespoons) hot Earl Grey tea
25 mL (1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons) vegetable oil
splash vanilla extract

for the honey golden syrup IMBC:
111 grams (1/3 cup) honey
111 grams (1/3 cup) golden syrup
scant 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 egg whites
230 grams (1 cup) butter, cut into small pieces and soft but cool

directions:
For the cakes, line 6 muffin tins with cupcake papers.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Whisk the flour, sugar, baking soda and powder, cornstarch salt, tea leaves, and cocoa powder together.
Into the dry ingredients, add the buttermilk, egg, hot tea, oil, and vanilla.
Whisk very well to combine. (It will be a very thin batter.)
Fill each cupcake well with 1/4 cup of batter.
Bake for 15-18 minutes, until domed and springy to the touch, and a tester comes out clean.
Allow to cool completely before frosting.

For the honey golden syrup IMBC:
Place the egg whites, along with a pinch of cream of tartar, in the bowl of a stand mixer.
Place the honey, golden syrup, and salt in a small sauce pot over medium heat.
Begin to whisk the eggs.
When the syrup reaches 230 degrees, the eggs should almost be at soft peaks.
When the syrup reaches 240 degrees, the egg whites should have soft peaks that are almost stiff.
Pour the syrup carefully, down into the bowl while the mixer is running.
Beat the meringue until it has cooled to body temperature, then beat in the butter one tablespoon at a time.
Beat until the buttercream has become very fluffy and light.
Frost cupcakes as desired.

P.S.

December 22, 2013January 8, 2014 by Rachel Sally

Minted

“Oh you fancy, huh?”

-Drake

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I am a food blogger.
(And I just quoted Drake. Lest I be smote from this weblog by the fiery foodie gods for doing so, I leave you with these fancy cookies.)
I eat up seasonal themes like they’re small batch chocolates, y’all.

If you thought you were going to escape winter unscathed and untouched by pepperminty desserts, hoo boy were you wrong. Won’t you ever learn what a terrible blogger I am?
Remember what happened in the autumn? How I denied and denied and procrastinated and then DUMPED all the punkin on you at once?
In fact, right after you had thought it safe to dispose of the sad leftover pumpkin in the can sitting in the back of your fridge. (Is that only my family? My mom liked the can, thus we have 1/2 cup of month old pumpkin. Yumbo.)

And you were fed up and almost wrote my blog off. But you forgave me and we had fika and all was well.

Well, here we go! I’m coming in hot with peppermint, the ~~cliched~~ classic winter flavor.
Luckily, I got my shit together and this post is still somewhat appropriate, because it’s not yet xmas and therefore we all still have candy canes lying around.

Funny thing is, I only intended on having one minty post. However, these cookies used up a lot fewer candy canes than I anticipated, so I have an entire tupperware full of peppermint bits that must be put to good use.

I told you I was irritating. Stock up now! You can take your anger out by smashing them to little bits while you wait for the next inevitably untimely peppermint post.

We get our tree from the same farm every year, and have done so since the family moved to Ithaca (prior to my being).

When we were little, we’d always get candy canes after picking out our tree, from a basket a little shed.

Candy canes were always passed out by teachers and kids alike when the holidays neared in school, a sweet little gift that lifted spirits.

Sometimes we’d get candy canes in our stockings.

Candy canes will forever bring about memories of the holidays, of winter, of my favorite time of year.

Macs with candy canes?

Yes. Yes. Yes yes yes yes.

Chocolate hazelnut shells + chocolate mint buttercream + crushed candy canes.

Need I say more?

But actually. These were delicious little guys, crisp and filled to the brim with silky buttercream.
The peppermint accents were delightful, a perfect foil to rich hazelnuts and toasty chocolate.

But actually. So many cookies to share with you. My head is spinning. My fingers grow weary of typing. My oven, well… my oven is always on anyways.

This is part III of our upgraded holiday cookie list.
part I: nutmeg, maple, and rye sugar cookies
part II: Linzer cookies, done right
part III: peppermint chocolate macarons
part IV: ????!?!

You’ll have to check back for part IV, you greedy little things.

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A few quick tips, before I leave you with this addition to your cookie platter.

Bake your macs on a well-insulated baking sheet. Or, double or triple up.

Make Italian meringue macarons! Just try it once. For me. Because I am a very firm believer in Italian meringue.

Test your batter well and often with the ribbon test: a spatula lifted out of the batter should drip in ribbons, which should disappear back into the rest of the batter within 10 seconds.

Read all of Stella of Bravetart’s posts on macarons.
All. of. them. Definitely worth your time! She knows what she’s doing!

If you try them out, let me know! I’m always curious about macaron success!
Back soon… With the fourth and final (?) part of this cookie marathon!

Minted Macarons

ingredients:
for the shells:
adapted from Jo the Tart Queen
130 grams hazelnuts or almonds
25 grams cocoa powder
150 grams powdered sugar
70 grams egg whites (approximately 2 egg whites)

150 grams granulated sugar
30 grams water
70 grams egg whites
pinch cream of tartar (optional)

for the buttercream:
180 grams butter
60 grams dark chocolate, melted
splash vanilla extract
2 drops peppermint extract
70 grams powdered sugar, sifted
1 teaspoon-1 tablespoon heavy cream, as needed to thin

to assemble:
chopped candy canes or peppermint candies

directions:
Make the shells:
Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper, being sure it lies flat.
Prepare a large piping bag with a large, plain piping tip.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
Place nuts, confectioners sugar, and cocoa powder in a food processor and process until finely ground.
Sift into a bowl and add the first measure of egg whites.
Stir until a smooth paste forms.
Combine the water and granulated sugar in a small sauce pot fitted with a candy thermometer.
Place the second measure of egg whites along with the cream of tartar in a stand mixer and start to whip them on low speed.
Meanwhile, begin to heat up your sugar and water.
When the sugar syrup reaches 242 degrees F, the egg whites should be at soft peaks.
Drizzle the syrup into the whites with the mixer on low speed, then increase speed and whip on high until slightly cooled and meringue is glossy and stiff.
Fold 1/3 of the meringue into the nut paste until the nut paste is lightened up.
Fold in the rest of the meringue and continue to make folding, stirring motions until the batter flows like lava and a spatula lifted out of the batter drips in ribbons.
Place the batter in the piping bag and pipe out small circles, flicking with your wrist to sever the stream of batter.
Allow to dry for a few minutes, then place in the oven and bake until a cookie lifts cleanly off the parchment.
Allow to cool completely, then fill and decorate.
Make the buttercream:
Melt the chocolate and stir until smooth; set aside to cool slightly.
Beat the butter on high speed until very smooth and fluffy; add in the extracts and beat until combined.
Scrape the sides of the bowl very well, then add in all of the chocolate at once and beat on high speed until combined.
Sift the confectioners sugar over top and then beat it in.
If frosting is too thick, add heavy cream one teaspoon at a time to thin.
To assemble, spread a thick layer of buttercream onto one macaron shell; place another one on top and squeeze slightly so that the buttercream slightly protrudes from the sides.
Roll in chopped candy canes.
Allow to age for at least 1 day before eating. (Ahem.)

December 19, 2013 by Rachel Sally

Holidazed

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All the cookies!

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‘Tis the season for cookies.
We alllll know it.
And you know, I ain’t mad at it. Cookies and I get along very well.

Anyways, this year we’re stepping up our cookie game. Right?
Let’s give away cookies that take the lackluster cookie platter to the next level.

We started with nutmeg, maple, and rye sugar cookies.
Now, we’re doing traditional, but we’re doing it a better way.

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Linzer cookies are totally a staple on holiday cookie platters.
Butter cookies with a cut out, filled with jam. You’ve seen ’em. You’ve ~~enjoyed~~ eaten them.

Here’s the problem: too often they are dry and crumbly, sucking the moisture right out of your mouth and leaving a telltale trail of crumbs down the front of your ugly sweater. (What?! We all do it.)

Or, they’re utterly boring. Not enough punch; plain Jane fillings and plain Jane casings.
Not so with these Linzer cookies! They’ve got a hefty pinch of salt, a touch of spice, and fillings with body.

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These cookies are made with almond flour and minimal sugar, which means the flavors stay clean and un-muddled on your tongue.
To ensure that they have a good bite, not too crumbly nor too firm, we use a technique most often utilized in making fluffy cakes with tight crumbs: reverse creaming.

Reverse creaming involves whisking all the dry ingredients together, then beating in soft butter followed by the wet ingredients. It creates a dough with minimal air pockets, meaning your cookies will be nice and flat and less prone to crumbling.

We’ve got a good base going: lightly spiced and sweetened, with hints of almond and a firm, crisp bite.

Don’t mess it up with the fillings! Use good quality jams.
My favorite was the D’arbo sour cherry jam, which went well with the almond undertones (almonds+stone fruit=magic), and also offset the butteriness of the cookies masterfully, what with its tart, fruity self.
I highly recommend choosing fillings with a little kick.
In the future, I’d add a pinch of cayenne to the Bonne Maman strawberry jam, and a sprinkle of salt to the Nutella. I’m partial to apricot as is, but I bet an extra touch of nutmeg would work wonders.

Sorry that my posts haven’t been very wordy. It’s the holidays, and my brain is fried.
Holidazed and confused…

More cookies coming your way in a day or so.
Hint: there’s peppermint involved. Get excited.

Linzer Cookies
adapted from Martha Stewart
makes approximately 20 large sandwich cookies
ingredients:
5 ounces (1 cup and 3 tablespoons) almond flour or finely ground almonds
3.6 ounces (1/2 cup) sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon baking powder
big pinch kosher salt
9 ounces (2 cups plus 2 tablespoons) flour
8 ounces (16 tablespoons) butter, softened and cut into small chunks
1 egg
splash vanilla extract
confectioner’s sugar, for dusting
fruit jams or Nutella, as desired

directions:
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle, add the almond flour, sugar, spices, baking powder, salt, and flour and mix to combine.
Add in the softened butter and paddle until the mixture resembles a coarse meal.
Add in the egg and vanilla and mix until a dough forms.
Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and roll out to 1/4 inch thickness.
Cut out circles, and cut a small shape out of half of the circles.
Place onto parchment lined baking sheets and freeze or chill for at least 30 minutes.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Bake the frozen/chilled cookies for 9-11 minutes, until set and lightly golden.
Allow to cool completely.
Spread 1 1/2 teaspoons of filling of choice onto the cookies without cut outs.
Dust the cookies with the cutouts with plenty of confectioners sugar, then sandwich them on top of the filling and uncut cookies.

December 11, 2013 by Rachel Sally

Great Scott!

It’s the 3rd Annual Great Food Blogger Cookie Swap!

The GFBCS is a multiple nation wide food blogger swap which is sponsored by OXO, Dixie Crystals, and Grandma’s Molasses; all the profits go to the charity Cookies for Kids’ Cancer, which supports pediatric cancer research.

Pretty much a good time all around, right?

Not only did I receive three delicious types of cookies and have the opportunity to share my cookies with three other bloggers, but it was for a good cause.

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Also, OXO sent me three super fancy, brand-spanking new spatulas. I’ve never been more excited to see a spatula before. Ugh I’m in love.

This is the second year I’ve participated in the swap, and I’ve worked with Cookies for Kids’ Cancer for a service project as well.
It’s always a pleasure.

With that, here are the details:

I received…

muddy buddy cookies (genius idea!) from Marley of Chicago Foodies
date pinwheel cookies (a family recipe!) from Jessica of Kettler Cuisine
and marbled shortbread (so cute!) from Lauren of a Dash of Soul.

I gave…

des petits sablés aux noix: pressed walnut sablés, buttery and rich, half dipped in 70% Scharrfen Berger chocolate

to Jenne of Mooshu Jenne,
Brooke of Crackers on the Couch (who sent out crackers— how perfect is that?)
and Joanna of A Kosher Kitchen.

Happy holidays to all! I hope you enjoyed your cookies.

Until next year, Great Food Blogger Cookie Swap!

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Walnut Sablés

ingredients:
660 grams (5 cups) flour
120 grams (1 cup) walnut halves
450 grams (4 sticks, 1 lb) butter
400 grams (2 cups) sugar
2 teaspoons kosher salt
2 splashes vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 egg beaten with 1 tablespoon water, for egg wash
melted bittersweet chocolate, if desired, for dipping

directions:
In a food processor, pulse the flour and walnut halves until a uniform flour forms; careful not to over process, as the walnuts will start to form butter.
In a stand mixer, beat the butter for 4 minutes, until light and fluffy.
Scrape the sides of the bowl and add in the sugar and salt.
Beat for 2 more minutes, until all the grit is gone and the mixture is very pale.
Add in the vanilla and eggs and beat for 2 more minutes.
Scrape the bowl and dump in all of the walnut flour mixture.
Mix on low until a dough forms.
Chill for at least 45 minutes.
Roll out on a very well-floured surface, and press with a cookie stamp (alternately, just cut out shapes) and cut out.
Chill for at least 30 more minutes.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Brush chilled cookies with the egg wash and bake for 10-12 minutes, until golden brown.
Remove from oven and let cool completely before dipping in chocolate.
Place the cookies on a cooling rack to let the chocolate drip through.

December 8, 2013December 8, 2013 by Rachel Sally

5-Star

Let’s pretend to be sophisticated and make grown-up candies this holiday season.

Here’s something ~~funny~~ annoying that I know I’m going to end up doing this winter.

I’ve had many no-bake things that are gift-worthy (fudge, chocolate, candies, etc.) on my mind due to my current situation.
I’ve been trying to pretend that I actually want to be making candies instead of baking cakes and cookies.
In reality, I can’t wait to get back to an oven and stove.

However, and here’s the annoying part, I know that when I get home I’ll have so many no-bake ideas built up that I will continue to neglect my oven and rely instead on my refrigerator.

I know. Eye roll. Let’s hope that it won’t happen.

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For now, I have these grown-up chocolate cups to share.

70% bittersweet chocolate cups filled with dulce de leche spiked with salt and chinese 5-spice.

Spicy, salty, warm, and rotund, these candies are an experience: the crisp shell, after a quick bite, melts and luxuriously coats your tongue with a myriad of flavors.

I love the kick of spice and burn from the pepper and the warmth from the cloves and star anise.
I was inspired by a small canister of Dean and Deluca 5-spice I picked up at the grocery store.

I don’t have a stove, so I used a store-bought can of dulce de leche, which is a great substitute iff you add a lot of salt.
Alternately, make your own dulce de leche. Don’t forget the salt! It is ultra-super-critical.

This flavor combination is coming back. Soon.
Consider yourself warned.

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Five Spice and Dulce de Leche Chocolates
makes about 24 candies

ingredients:
1.5 lbs 70% bittersweet chocolate
1 14-ounce can of dulce de leche (or make your own)
2 pinches kosher salt
2 teaspoons Chinese 5-spice

directions:
Set out 24 mini cupcake liners (the aluminum and paper ones) on a sheet pan.
Chop and melt your chocolate slowly to avoid burning; carefully paint a thin layer of chocolate on the bottom and sides of your cupcake liners.
Place in a fridge or freezer for 5-10 minutes to set.
Stir the dulce de leche, salt, and spice together.
Place 2 teaspoons of dulce de leche in the chocolate cups.
Rap the sheet pan a few times to even out the dulce de leche layer.
Top off with melted chocolate until the edges lay flush with the chocolate; rap the sheet pan on a counter, hard, to even the chocolate layer out and remove any air bubbles.
Return to the fridge/freezer until the top layer of chocolate has set.
Remove from the wrappers, if desired, and enjoy!

December 6, 2013December 5, 2013 by Rachel Sally

Far to Fall

Peanut butter Pollock.

Thank god for no-bake recipes.

When you don’t have a kitchen (just a microwave and a fridge and a bureau for counter space), you have limitations.

i.e. I’ve been washing dishes in the bathroom. Which only has push-button faucets, which means every 8 seconds, the water turns off and I have to hold down the handle again. As if washing dishes could be MORE torturous.

Also, no oven. Or stove. Which means that recipes cannot only be no-bake, but no-cook.

Also, it’s finals week. Which means, I ain’t got time. For anything. Other than crying and Game of Thrones, of course.

Stop looking at me like that.

These bars are dead simple, and deadly delicious.
Just 6 ingredients, and they can be whipped up in just a few minutes.

It’s really hard to go wrong with peanut butter and chocolate. But PB, chocolate, and graham crackers?
It is LITERALLY impossible. It cannot be done.

For example: graham crackers sandwiched with peanut butter and chocolate. Impossible to do wrong.

The best part of these bar cookies, aside from their no-bake conception, is the fact that the graham cracker crumbs stay crunchy in the melted butter/PB base, which creates an airiness and crunchiness that is incredibly difficult to resist.

Actually, impossible to resist. Cut these small, because that means you can eat a million and one of them.

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Peanut Butter Graham Bars (no bake)
makes 1 8×8 or 9×9 inch pan of bars

ingredients:
8 tablespoons butter, melted
scant 1 cup smooth peanut butter
big pinch salt
1 1/4 cups confectioner’s sugar
1 1/3 cups graham cracker crumbs (about 10 sheets of crackers)
1 1/4 cup chopped dark chocolate
1 teaspoon butter
1 tablespoon chopped dark chocolate plus 1 tablespoon white chocolate, optional
1 tablespoon peanut butter plus 2 teaspoons chopped white chocolate, optional

directions:
Butter a 9×9 or 8×8 square pan.
Melt the peanut butter and butter together in a microwave; stir until smooth.
Stir in the salt, confectioner’s sugar, and graham cracker crumbs.
Press into the pan firmly; refrigerate until set.
Meanwhile, melt the dark chocolate with the second measure of butter; pour over cooled and set peanut butter base and smooth out; rap on the counter a few times to release air bubbles.
Refrigerate until set.
To decorate, melt the dark chocolate together with the white chocolate; stir until smooth.
Melt the peanut butter with the white chocolate; stir until smooth.
Splatter and drip the two mixtures over the set bars; allow to cool for 15 minutes before slicing to ensure that topping is set.

November 26, 2013November 23, 2013 by Rachel Sally

Nanners

Hellooooo buttermilk-cream cheese glaze, ~~I want to bathe in you~~ omg.

“Best thing I’ve ever eaten.” -#JonS

“Favorite thing you’ve made.” -Tom

“Oh my god.” -D. Frankel

“Mmmffm” -CJ

It’s pretty hard to go wrong with bananas, brown butter, chocolate, buttermilk, and cream cheese.

Impossible, actually. You could probably smush them all up and stick them in the microwave and it would taste good.
(Ugh. Banana mug cake?!?!?)

But more on that later: let’s talk technology!

Talk tech to me…

Remember how I admitted to having a bad case of lens lust?

How ~~all I wanted~~ all I needed all I ever desired ever was a new lens?

Something shiny, big, and full of glass?

I bought myself one!
After the horrors of 7th week (1 paper, 2 midterms, 3 p-sets and no sleep) I decided I was deserving. Ahem.

But, y’all, let me tell you: I am bad at ebay. I do not do ebay good.

I lost 4 (four!) auctions for various 17-55 mm f2.8 USM Canon lenses.

I had fallen into a pit of despair (FWP), when suddenly, I noticed a new BUY IT NOW lens and I jumped out of my seat and my pants and bought the damn thing.

I promptly put my pants back on and sat down
but nevertheless, my excitement was not dampered.

The lens came super quickly (it only took the weekend to arrive!) and I was stunned.

It’s really a beaut; there is so much glass! I’m unused to that, and I find it truly gorgeous.

It makes my camera look gigantic, yes, but ooooo mami that depth of field will getcha!
Compared to my lil’ eensy kit lens (which I still and will always love. It’s got sentimental value, okay? Sentimental value and no lens cap. Oops.), this thing is a ~~giant monster~~ princess who will be treated with love and care and kept safe.

Very safe. (She says as she smudges glaze all over it.)

Obviously, I was very excited to bake something and take photos of it with my new toy.
Obviously, knowing me, I was going to choose something I hate photographing.

Whyyyyy am I so stubborn and ridiculous?

I hate bundt cakes. Wait, no, I hate photographing bundt cakes. We’ve been through this. I’m bad at it.
And yet, I baked a bundt cake. Hmph.

This cake, doe.
It is a never fail. I have made it so many different ways, and have yet to be displeased.
This is my favorite adaptation.

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First, I brown half the butter. Half is creamed until light and fluffy, and then its nutty, flavorful, melted partner gets poured in.
The result? All of the benefits of the brown butter with an accompanying light and fluffy crumb due to the aeration from creaming, which cannot be done with solely melted butter.
The cake would be much denser if all the butter were to be browned.

Next: I freeze my bananas. Solid. Then I melt them in the microwave and discard most of the banana water. It will make your cake too wet and dense. You concentrate the flavor of the bananas a bit with the heat of the microwave, then you get rid of the excess liquid: boom.
Bigger, bolder banana flavor.

Brown sugar makes up the majority of the added sweeteners here, and it gives depth and warmth thanks to the molasses.

Buttermilk keeps the crumb tender and soft; we only need a touch, as too much would make the cake soggy and crumbly.

Finally, a smattering of chocolate chips, because chocolate.

To top the cake, buttermilk, cream cheese, powdered sugar, and milk powder get whizzed together to make a thick glaze that is not too sweet and has just the right amount of tang.

‘Tis a beautiful bundt. There. I said it. The interior makes up for the ~~photos~~ exterior.

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Perfect Banana Bundt
makes 1 bundt cake
adapted from Dorie Greenspan

ingredients:
225 grams (8 ounces, 16 tablespoons) butter, divided in two
150 grams (3/4 cup) granulated sugar
250 grams (1 1/4 cup) brown sugar
2 eggs
splash vanilla extract
4 medium bananas, frozen solid
120 grams (1/2 cup) buttermilk
big pinch salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
360 grams (3 cups) flour
200 grams (heaping 1 cup) chocolate chips, if desired

directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and grease and flour a bundt pan very thoroughly.
In a small saucepan, melt half the butter; keep cooking it until there are little brown pieces and it smells nutty; remove from heat and set aside to cool slightly.
Cream the other half of the butter with the sugars for at least 5 minutes, until light and fluffy.
Stream in the browned butter and beat until combined.
Beat in both of the eggs and the vanilla and beat for at least 3 more minutes, until the mixture is pale, fluffy, and very smooth.
Meanwhile, place your bananas in a microwave safe bowl and microwave for 30 seconds, or until the peels are just starting to soften; peel the bananas and return them to the bowl.
Microwave for about 1 1/2 minutes in 15-30 second bursts.
The bananas should be melty and should have let off a bit of liquid.
Using your hands to hold the bananas in the bowl, press and pour as much of the liquid out of the bananas as possible, without losing any banana pieces.
Pour the bananas into the creamed butter and sugar and beat until homogeneous; the mixture will look very curdled.
Pour in the buttermilk and beat to combine; the batter will still look curdled.
Dump the flour on top of the batter, then add the salt and baking soda to the top of the flour mound.
Mix on low until the batter is homogeneous and smooth; stir in the chocolate chips, if desired.
Spread the batter into the prepared bundt pan and bake for about 1 hour, or until a tester comes out completely clean; the top will be firm and dark brown, but due to a bundt pan’s shape, the interior might not be done.
Check in multiple places to ensure a completely cooked cake.
Allow the cake to cool for at least 15 minutes in the pan before inverting it onto a serving platter and glazing.

Buttermilk and Cream Cheese Glaze

ingredients:
120 grams (1/2 cup) buttermilk
140 grams (5 ounces) cream cheese, softened
200 grams (approximately 2 cups) powdered sugar, sifted
30 grams (approximately 1/3 cup) milk powder

directions:
In a food processor or with an immersion blender, process the cream cheese and buttermilk.
Add in the dry ingredients and process until a smooth glaze forms.

November 23, 2013 by Rachel Sally

Wonder Woman

Disclaimer: this post contains explicit words, but it also contains chocolate. Read at your own discretion, my loves.

Wake up ready to kick this day’s ass.

Put on those leggings that make you feel like fucking wonder woman
pull them up up up
snap the waistband
choose your warmest wool socks and your favorite sports bra.
Admire your butt in those leggings.

Ready to yoga this day away.

Om, motherfucker, om.

Get to your bike
jiggle the key into the lock
key won’t turn shit shit shit
take it out, try again.
No luck. Contemplate forcing it open, worry that it will break.
Pull off your gloves with your teeth, smash the key but no, it’s really fucking stuck.

Check the time: you’re too goddamn late for class anyways.
Stream off all the curse words you know.
Blame the bike;
blame the cold;
blame the key,
just not yourself.
Decidedly not yogic. Fuck it.

Back inside, strip off the scarf, jacket, socks, gloves.
Back into the warmth of the kitchen.

Retreat into your head.
Slice gorgeous little Concorde pears, whip eggs with a touch of sugar,
brown butter, stir in heaps of dark chocolate until it’s smooth and shiny.
Dip in a finger and then another.
Dance around listening to Van Morrison, spoon in mouth, chocolate smeared down your chin.
Talk to your father on the other side of the Atlantic; try to make yourself seem calmer than you really are; pretend you have your shit together.
Switch to Stevie Wonder as you munch on gingersnaps.

Bake the cake for half as long as all of the Stones songs in your library.
Work on yet more goddamn chemistry problems while you wait.
Celebrate the correct ones with a piece of chocolate.

Paint your toes electric blue.
Wish for the ocean.

Braid your mile-long hair and notice that your arms are tired by the end of it;
resolve to do 10 extra chuttarungas today.
Pick all of the crispy, crunchy bits off the cake: they were going to fall and burn anyway.
Wish for a cup of milk,
settle for your water bottle.

Shudder when Christmas music comes on;
no no not ready too much too soon Jesus let me take it one fucking holiday at a time.
Watch the cake rise rise rise
and then fall in the center, cooling into a gooey pudding. What the fuck.

Giggle and agree when your friend says it’s kinda ugly;
gracefully declare it “rustic” but secretly plan to hide its hideousness with globs of whipped cream and a shower of powdered sugar.
Call it a torte and explain that it’s supposed to look that way. Pick the pears off the top when no one is around.

Laugh at your ugly fucking cake through the lens of your camera.
Serve that motherfucker with love, gratitude, humility, and a chocolaty smile.

Om.

This cake is utterly simple, almost flourless, and full of lovely chunks of pear, whose juices turn it into a pudding.
The center will collapse in; fill in the crater with whipped cream and no one will be any the wiser.
It’s almost brownie-like in its texture, and the sweet pears play a beautiful foil to the rich chocolate.
Serve it in mugs with spoons. Feed your heart; feed those you love.

Much love from my full heart to yours.

Pear and Dark Chocolate Torte
adapted from Cook Eat Love
makes 1 6×3 inch cake

ingredients:
170 grams (6 ounces) dark chocolate, chopped
140 grams (1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons) butter
pinch kosher salt
120 grams (1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons sugar
3 large eggs
25 grams (3 tablespoons) flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
5 small pears, peeled, cored, and chopped and tossed with an extra 25 grams (3 tablespoons) flour
360 mL (1 1/2 cups) whipping cream, beaten to soft peaks
powdered sugar, to taste, and for dusting

directions:
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F and grease and flour a 6×3 inch springform pan.
In a saucepan, brown the butter; stir in the chocolate and whisk until a smooth ganache forms.
Whisk in a pinch of salt.
Meanwhile, beat the eggs and sugar until they are tripled in volume and very pale in color, about 7 minutes.
Sift the flour and baking powder over the eggs, then fold it in.
Fold in the chocolate mixture, then fold in the flour-covered pears.
Spread the batter into the prepared pan and bake for an hour, until the center is barely jiggly; immediately transfer it to the freezer.
Softly whip the cream with a touch of powdered sugar, if desired, then spread over the cooled cake.
Dust with chocolate shavings and powdered sugar.
Eat with a SPOON.

La Pêche Fraîche

Category: chocolate